as Page 939 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Dumb Team Won't Trade For Anthony Davis
As you surely know by now, New Orleans Pelicans superstar Anthony Davis requested a trade. He wants to leave that derelict organization for one that will give him a chance to contend for championships. The Pelicans can deal him by next Thursday’s trade deadline, or they can wait until the season end...
Report: Anthony Davis Burns With A Desire That Can Only Be Satisfied By Joining The Lakers
After the flaming supernova that is Anthony Davis put in a trade request earlier this week, sending both the New Orleans Pelicans into panic mode and the rest of the NBA into a rabid frenzy, all that was left to discover was how Davis would go about exerting his considerable leverage to land in a pr...
Damn Paul Millsap For Ruining This Sweet Nikola Jokic Pass
The experience of watching the Denver Nuggets play basketball is often reduced to alternating between two distinct yet equally powerful emotions. The first is religious ecstasy, sparked through witnessing the soft god Nikola Jokic in the act of miraculous ball distribution. The other is anguish, bro...
Just Several Frightening Seconds Of Zion Williamson Gobbling Up An Opposing Ball-Handler Like A Delicious Turkey Dinner
The disgusting Duke Blue Devils worked over Notre Dame Monday night, behind another ridiculous performance from Zion Williamson. Young Zion scored 26 points in 33 minutes, on just 12 total shots, and pulled down nine rebounds, and led the game with four blocks. In general he was just way too much fo...
Grizzlies Explore New Depths Of Misery Via Excruciating Kyle Anderson Meltdown
The Memphis Grizzlies spent the late stages of their Monday night home game against the Nuggets barfing away what had been a 25-point lead. Denver grabbed its first lead of the entire game with under a minute left in the fourth quarter; the teams traded buckets over the following 15 seconds (includi...
Lonzo Ball Would Prefer To Be Traded Where He Can Start Right Away, Just As I Would Prefer To Stalk My Enemies From Atop A Mighty Tyrannosaur
The Lakers are expected to offer some combination of young foundational players to the Pelicans in exchange for Anthony Davis, who requested a trade from New Orleans over the weekend. The most prominent of those young players is one Lonzo Ball, who by this time last year was viewed as the crown jew...
NBA Investigating Anthony Davis Trade Request For Signs Of Self-Tampering
Anthony Davis has requested a trade from the New Orleans Pelicans, a half-assed basketball operation that squandered all but a few hours of his NBA career to date. Adrian Wojnarowski reported it; he had the scoop because Rich Paul, Davis’s agent, told him. Just a few hours later, the Pelicans public...
Golfer Loses $100,000 Thanks To Bullshit Violation Of New Rule
Haotong Li should have finished in a five-way tie for third place at last weekend’s Dubai Desert Classic. It would have been a somewhat disappointing finish given that he came into the final round only one shot off of the leader’s pace, though he still would have left the United Arab Emirates with a...
The Laws Of War Are Still Trying To Solve The Quandary Of Legal Nukes
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Here's An Idea For Fixing The NBA's Fouling Problem
The NBA has a fouling problem. Broadly, it’s this: Tactical defensive fouling has been normalized, because it’s a helpful tactic, yet the fundamental nature and rules of the game are built around the premise that fouling is bad....
A Brief History Of Dan Snyder’s Superyachts, Which Have Put Him In Elizabeth Warren's Crosshairs
The two greatest days in Dan Snyder’s life are the day he buys a boat, and the day he buys a bigger boat....
"Ninja Headbands" Are Taking Over The NBA And I Am Here For It
Traditional headbands are gross and lame. It’s a minimal loop of terrycloth designed specifically just to keep a disgusting bodily fluid from dripping into your eyes, so honestly it’s a wonder that something so guaranteed to be completely radioactive at the end of games ever gained even a modicum of...
Nathan Chen Is Dominant, Again
Nathan Chen, the defending world champion, captured his third straight senior men’s figure skating national title in Detroit on Saturday. He beat silver medalist Vincent Zhou by 58 points. ...
Gregg Popovich Calls Timeout 16 Seconds Into The Game To Yell At His Players
On the first play of the game between the Spurs and Wizards, Washington forward Thomas Bryant set a pick for Bradley Beal and then rolled to the basket. Someone on the Spurs missed their assignment, leaving only 6-foot-3-inch Bryn Forbes to rush over and contest Bryant’s dunk attempt. Despite the gu...
A 50 Percent Free-Throw Shooter Helped Seal Purdue's Upset Over Michigan State With Six Straight Free Throws
After a historically terrible opening half, Michigan State began to look like its No. 6-ranked self in the second half of its game against Purdue on Saturday. The Spartans were down 55-32 with just over 13 minutes in regulation, but went on a 24-5 run to cut the Boilermakers’ lead down to four, 60-5...
Jason Witten Broke The Damn Pro Bowl Trophy
Here’s the most Pro Bowl shit ever: Jason Witten broke the Pro Bowl trophy while trying to award it to AFC team members Patrick Mahomes and Jamal Adams....
Patrick Mahomes Cared Enough About His Pro Bowl Performance To Drop An F-Bomb On Live TV
One of the feeble attempts at making the Pro Bowl seem somewhat interesting has been broadcasting quarterback cadences and conversations as they’re on the field. But even that nearly fell apart....
Report: Washington Will Be "Pleasantly Surprised" If Alex Smith Is Ready To Play Next Season
Washington is going into its offseason preparations with the expectation that starting quarterback Alex Smith will not be available to play next year, according to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport....
Corey Brewer Celebrates Two-Handed Flush With A Kick To Torrey Craig's Head
In a 126-110 losing effort against the Denver Nuggets, Corey Brewer proved to be one of the bright spots for the Philadelphia 76ers on Saturday. The 32-year-old wing put up 20 points, six rebounds and secured four steals in his 32 minutes of action. But his most impressive highlight was the one tech...
Oh Look, An Owner Of An MLB Team Has Brought Up Another Excuse To Not Pay Bryce Harper Or Manny Machado Their Worth
Astros owner Jim Crane was the latest team owner to give his opinion on why stars like Bryce Harper and Manny Machado aren’t receiving the blockbuster contracts many expected them to sign this offseason. At a team event on Friday, Crane, whose net worth is an estimated $2.5 billion, told reporters t...