as Page 964 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB Cooks Up Extremely Credible And Not At All Insulting Explanation For $5,000 Contribution To Racist Shitbag's Senate Campaign
Here is Major League Baseball’s totally credible explanation for how it wound up donating $5,000 to the runoff campaign of unhinged Republican Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith, of Mississippi, whose supporter base seems increasingly to be made up of racist maniacs:...
Oklahoma's Robert Barnes Not Flagged For Potential Targeting Hit On West Virginia's Marcus Simms
Oklahoma outlasted West Virginia in a 59-56 classic Big 12 shootout that likely had defensive coordinators everywhere weeping for the future of their positions. But even with all of the scoring, and general back-and-forth action, one of the biggest plays in the game came at the tail end of the first...
Washington Is Behind Colt McCoy, For Better Or Worse
If the vibe around the Washington football team’s camp these past few days felt a little too optimistic—filled with reports about how, actually, he wasn’t that much of a dropoff from Alex Smith—Thursday’s 31-23 loss against the Cowboys likely tempered any lofty expectations. Now sitting outside the ...
De'Aaron Fox Is Fast As Hell And It Rules So Hard
When the following play begins, all five Jazz defenders are between De’Aaron Fox and the bucket. Three of his teammates are too, yet he takes the inbounds pass from Willie Cauley-Stein and rips straight down the middle of the court to the rack for a huge left-handed slam....
Here's A Blessed Video Of Johnny Cueto Riding A Prancing Pony
As rich person hobbies go, horses are one of the riskier and more complicated ones. Horses are expensive and cool, but they are also huge and don’t listen to reason and take enormous dumps. Compare that to a rich person pursuit like owning visual art or islands or a bunch of cars—all of which are al...
The Responsible Adult's Guide To Boozing Around The Holidays
The holidays are here. It may not sink in for you until you’ve heard “Silver Bells” for the umpteenth time at a bar festooned with mistletoe and Christmas lights, or until you notice your weird boss sweating and swaying after one-too-many scotch and sodas, but yeah, the holidays are here. So how do ...
Somehow Hamidou Diallo's Bones And Ligaments Survived This Horrifying Fall
Late in Oklahoma City’s Wednesday night road win over the shorthanded Warriors, Thunder rookie Hamidou Diallo got tangled up with Jonas Jerebko going for a rebound in transition, and came down awkwardly on his left leg, with Jerebko’s full weight landing on an already severely bent and twisted ankle...
Elvis Andrus's Best Friend Retires
Adrian Beltre, who played for four major-league teams over 21 seasons, announced his retirement Tuesday. There are other places where you can find informed analysis of just how good he was, when he’ll get into the Hall of Fame, and where he ranks in a list of all-time third basemen. That’s all valua...
It’s Been A Weird And Wonderful Week Of Football
We’re here with your Thanksgiving week edition of Emergency Football Show Weekly! Dom Cosentino and I break down the show put on by the Rams and Chiefs on Monday Night Football, a costly mistake by Philip Rivers, the resurgence of the Indianapolis Colts and, of course, Jon Gruden and Derek Carr argu...
ESPN Reporter Brian Windhorst Loves To Brag About Not Reporting
Longtime basketball reporter Brian Windhorst is the subject of a profile in the New York Times today, in which he candidly talks about his career and his desire to be known as more than just the guy who has spent it following LeBron James around. He also brags about a time when he refused to report ...
Thanksgiving Is The Last Good Holiday
Some years ago, for reasons that are hard to parse, the Internet Of Content decided that Thanksgiving sucks. A holiday that for the most part celebrates fundamental American values—gluttony, family, NFC football, a weirdly sentimentalized vision of genocide, copious side dishes—was transformed, in p...
Manny Machado Had To Eat A Little Shit Over His "Johnny Hustle" Comment
Manny Machado fucked up when he admitted during the NLCS that he doesn’t hustle on every play. His fuck-up was not in not hustling, because do you know who else doesn’t run at full speed on every single play, every single sharp grounder to second, every can-of-corn pop-up to short center? Every majo...
Novak Djokovic Was Finally Imperfect And The Kid Won
I was ready for this all to be about Novak Djokovic. Novak Djokovic, having reclaimed the No. 1 ranking, was ready for this to be all about Novak Djokovic. His level of play over the last half of the season, and specifically over the last week, is a psychoactive substance. Sunday marked the end of t...
Former MSU President Lou Anna Simon Charged With Lying To Police About Larry Nassar
Former Michigan State University President Lou Anna Simon, who resigned from her position back in January, has been charged by the Michigan Attorney General’s office on two felony counts and two misdemeanor counts of lying to police. From the Lansing State Journal:...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Legally Barred?
The last thing the sad and strange Markelle Fultz saga needed was whatever the hell this is, per David Aldridge:...
Old Tony Parker Stepped In And Gave Kemba Walker A Break, And It Ruled
Two minutes and seven seconds remained on the clock in last night’s Celtics-Hornets game, and Kemba Walker was tired. He had every right to be: To that point, he’d scored 40 points—18 in the fourth quarter alone—in just under 37 minutes of playing time. And these were not ordinary minutes, but rathe...
Samson Ebukam Stole The Show
In an exhilarating Monday Night Football shootout that saw two of the best young quarterbacks in the world play each other to a near-stalemate, it was the Rams defense that made the difference and earned them the 54-51 win over the Chiefs. Specifically, it was second-year linebacker Samson Ebukam—a ...
Was That The Future Of Football?
“I might need a couple beverages to relax tonight,” Sean McVay said after the Rams’ 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the most satisfying and exhilarating football games ever played. Maybe a cigarette? MNF viewers are walking around this morning like we got laid last night, and you know what? I’m ...
Vlade Divac Is Pissed About Coaching Decisions That Have The Kings Winning Actual Games
The Kings jumped out to a big early lead over the visiting Thunder Monday night, then withstood a furious Russell Westbrook-led surge, then made a series of clutch buckets and free throws in the final five minutes to secure their second win over OKC this season. Five Kings scored in double-figures; ...
Well That Was Exhilarating As Shit
The Rams and the Chiefs played the highest-scoring contest in the history of Monday Night Football tonight, a 54–51 barnburner in which every play seemed to go for 18 yards, and every third play seemed to produce a touchdown. It was maybe the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched. Did you mi...