as Page 965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....

Report: College Basketball Team Members Offered Woman Escort Work After She Reported They Sexually Assaulted Her
A freshman student at the University of North Texas reported last year to her resident assistant that she was sexually assaulted by members of the college basketball team, according to a recent report by WFAA-TV in Dallas. The RA reported it to campus authorities. Then, hours after the report was ma...

Two Arkansas Football Players Suspended For Flirting With Opponent's Cheerleaders Instead Of Warming Up
Arkansas football coach Chad Morris announced today that defensive backs Kamren Curl and Ryan Pulley would be suspended for this week’s game against Missouri over some high school football-ass behavior. The pair apparently spent some time before last weekend’s embarrassing 52-6 loss to Mississippi S...

Kevin Durant Has Suggestion For Heckler: "Watch The Fucking Game And Shut The Fuck Up"
The Warriors, who might not be all that functional without Steph Curry to make them whir, went 0-3 on their Texas road trip last week. At some point early in Saturday’s 112-109 loss to the Mavericks, Kevin Durant walked up to the front row of fans, craned forward and attempted to shut up some heckle...

Les Miles's Brain Briefly And Spectacularly Shut Down During His Introductory Press Conference
Les Miles is the new football coach at Kansas, which is a fact that will make you say, “That’s weird!” every time you hear it. He was officially introduced at a press conference yesterday, and he made sure to let everyone know just what a boon to the community his football program is going to be....

Curling Team Banned From Alberta Tournament For Being So, So Drunk
Curling has long been billed as a sport that you can play while drinking. While that’s true, and it’s not unheard for recreational and competitive players to have a beer during a game, it’s definitely not true that you can play the game drunk, or at least play it well. That was proven in Alberta thi...


I Hope Kemba Walker Joins A Good Team
Sometimes a losing performance is so searingly good that even the cheeseball who sunk the game-winner has to immediately pay his dues. “I will say, Kemba gave me 60 tonight. I will have to say that one,” said Jimmy Butler, who was tasked with shutting down Walker for much of Saturday night, minutes ...

The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game between pretty much any two other NBA teams, even really shitty ones like the Phoenix Suns or New York Knicks, and spend some time toggling back and forth between the two every few m...

Without Steph Curry, The Warriors Are Mortal
One week ago, the Golden State Warriors were 11-2, Steph Curry was the MVP favorite, and everyone was laughing at the Rockets. Five games later, the Warriors are 12-6, deep-seated personality differences have surfaced, and Curry is out until after Thanksgiving. All is not well, and after an 0-3 stre...

James Worthy Played Bass And The Minutemen's Mike Watt Has The Story To Prove It<em></em>
“Have you always been a basketball fan?” This is me, asking Mike Watt, one of my heroes, a pretty basic question. It is, if we’re being honest, a feeble softball, lobbed with all the force of an Andy Borowitz gag. This happened around noon, an hour earlier than we were supposed to begin our two-man ...

Loogie This Video And See If You Think Marshal Yanda Spat On Vontaze Burfict<em></em>
We’ve got a controversy! Over spit. A spitroversy....

Washington Needs A Quarterback. I Know A Guy!
If you saw what happened to Alex Smith’s leg, you didn’t need the updates. Watching the video was enough to tell you that his tibia and fibula were broken, and that he needed immediate surgery, and that he’s out for the year. It was one of the more gruesome football injuries in recent memory, and ca...
![Alex Smith Leaves Game On Stretcher With Gruesome Leg Injury [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/iulel5j7srb4udsyaltn.jpg)
Alex Smith Leaves Game On Stretcher With Gruesome Leg Injury [Update]
On a third-and-nine play in the third quarter, Kareem Jackson and J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans sacked Washington quarterback Alex Smith in the backfield for a big loss. The sack forced Smith to land awkwardly on his leg and cause an injury painful enough that the quarterback had to be taken off o...

Julio Jones Jacks Up Dallas' Jeff Heath To Prevent Interception
Julio Jones isn’t just an all-pro receiver who’s currently leading the league in receiving yards, he’s also a bonafide hard-hitter on the football field. Late in the first half, Matt Ryan took a shot down field for his star receiver to grab, but he overthrew the pass. Had Julio Jones’s safety instin...

Braves Prospect Appears To Break Foot After Hitting Walk-Off Homer In AFL Championship Game
Baseball season came to an end in Arizona on Saturday when Atlanta Braves prospect Braxton Davidson hit a walk-off homer to win MLB’s Arizona Fall League for the Peoria Javelinas over the Salt River Rafters. The homer came in the bottom of the tenth on a 2-1 count with the bases empty, and Davidson...

Dwight Howard Heckled By Arena Worker During Post-Game Free-Throw Practice
The hackneyed image of an NBA player taking time after an arena has emptied out to practice getting his shots up becomes a story at least once a season for teams that are failing to meet expectations, or just generally struggling. Fresh off a 115-104 home loss to the Nets that put the Wizards at 5-1...

It Didn't Go Well For The Lawyers Trying To Get A New Derrick Rose Trial
LOS ANGELES — A three-judge panel heard arguments Friday for and against vacating a jury’s decision to find Derrick Rose and two of his friends not liable in a 2016 civil rape trial. A woman, going by Jane Doe, sued Rose as well as his friends Ryan Allen and Randall Hampton in federal court, saying ...

If USA Gymnastics Dies, What Takes Its Place?<em></em>
Until two years ago, there was no question over who controlled gymnastics in the United States. USA Gymnastics, the sport’s national governing body, had been in charge of administering the sport at every level, from novice all the way up through elite, since the early 1960s. Other organizations had ...

This is a couple of weeks old, but it’s endearing: A diehard Vancouver Grizzlies fan went on a mission to find the defunct team’s reclusive center Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. Unlike a lot of quests in this vein, she actually reached a satisfying resolution. That resolution at one point includes Big...