as Page 971 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Army Idiots Pranked Air Force By Jamming Their Live Mascots Into Crates
Before last Saturday’s Air Force-Army college football game, two dopey West Point cadets decided to prank their rivals by stealing their live mascots, which are falcons. Not knowing how to take care of an animal, these Army morons crammed the two birds into crates. It’s so unlike the military to use...
Jayson Tatum Appears To Have Contracted Kobe Brain
This summer, Jayson Tatum worked out a bunch with Kobe Bryant, who has made his admiration for the Celtics’ young star well known. Getting some pointers from one of the most accomplished players in NBA history seems like a self-evidently good decision, but I’m starting to fear that Tatum took more t...
MLB Expansion Is Probably Inevitable, But Where And When?
Attendance and World Series TV ratings may be down, but baseball fever is alive and well in cities without the erstwhile national pastime. ExposNation says the time is now! Portland’s wannabe owner took Russell Wilson and Ciara on a helicopter tour of potential stadium sites! Las Vegas might be read...
Kevin Byard Did T.O. Proud With His Celebration On The Cowboys' Star
Millennials live in a golden age of nostalgia. After our entire conscious lifetimes were spent standing idly by as boomers were pandered to with things from their childhood, finally it is our turn to be pandered to! The music we liked is sampled and aped. The fashion is back in. Entire media conglo...
Kyrie Irving Sees Your Shammgod, Raises One Bonkers Off-The-Knee Inside-Out Dribble
I am guessing we will not see Omri Casspi attempt this anytime soon. In fact, Kyrie Irving might be the only active NBA player with the skill and guts and latitude to pull this out in a tied regular season road game:...
Jamal Murray Made Some Celtics Salty By Shamelessly Gunning For 50
Celtics-Nuggets was very, very fun. Kyrie Irving was cooking. Jamal Murray was cooking. No one else really had it, and so the game became a cook-off between two sublime shot-makers. Murray got the better of the matchup, exploding for a career-high 48 points, including 19 in the fourth quarter, to ca...
Titans Trouble My Brain With Amazing Sleight Of Hand Touchdown
The Titans scored an uncommonly slick and cool touchdown in the third quarter of Monday night’s game against the Cowboys. On second and two from the Cowboys seven-yard line, Marcus Mariota took a shotgun snap and handed it to Dion Lewis, who was immediately slammed to the turf by DeMarcus Lawrence f...
Ottawa Senators Players Caught On Video Talking Wild Shit About Their Own Team And Coach
Well, this is awkward as shit. Several Senators players—including Chris Wideman, Matt Duchene, Chris Tierney, Thomas Chabot, Dylan DeMelo, and Alex Formenton—recently spent a shared ride in Phoenix just trashing Ottawa assistant coach Martin Raymond and laughing about their own team’s defensive futi...
Larry Drew Squeezes The Cavaliers For Severance Pay
The uneasy stalemate between the Cavaliers and non-interim acting head coach Larry Drew has now reached a form of resolution. Drew held out for more, and successfully got the Cavs to give him a little more. Here it is:...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Still Crab Meat?
The Sixers could sure use some shooting. In Sunday’s jarringly one-sided loss to the Brooklyn Nets, Sixers starters combined to produce zero made three-pointers on just six total attempts. On the season, Philadelphia’s starting lineup has attempted just 18 total three-pointers in 53 minutes of cour...
Report: Under Armour Ends "Longstanding" Practice Of Expensed Trips To The Strip Club
The Wall Street Journal’s Khadeeja Safdar has a lengthy report out today on the state of Under Armour as the company goes through the process of “grappling with concerns about the treatment of women in the workplace.” According to Safdar’s reporting, several female Under Armour executives have recen...
United States Olympic Committee Gets Closer To Putting USA Gymnastics In The Trash Can
A few short days after Simone Biles found historic success at the World Gymnastics Championships, the United States Olympic Committee announced this afternoon that it was in the process of revoking USA Gymnastics’ status as a national governing body. The revocation isn’t official though and will tak...
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Fighting A Japanese Kickboxing Prodigy Makes Absolutely No Sense
After flirting with fights of various natures against Khabib Nurmagomedov, Manny Pacquiao (again), and Conor McGregor (again), world-class asshole Floyd Mayweather Jr. has come out of retirement for either the third or fourth time and booked his next fight, which will take place on New Year’s Eve i...
Profusely Sweaty Michael Irvin Had To Be Wiped Down While Screaming About The Cowboys On <i>First Take</i><em></em>
With the Cowboys playing the Titans tonight, former Dallas receiver and current TV loudmouth Michael Irvin was on First Take this morning, and goddamn, was he sweaty. Despite the best efforts of the production crew, he continued to glisten throughout the segment....
The Future Of Baseball Won't Look The Way You Expect
Back in 2017, the American League’s top Most Valuable Player candidates were New York’s Aaron Judge and Houston’s José Altuve. Judge, at 6-foot-7 and 280-some pounds and with his ungodly exit velocities and tape-measure home runs, was widely hailed as THE FUTURE OF BASEBALL. In the future, all power...
Why Kanye West’s Sneakers Aren’t Selling Out (Or: How I Ended Up With $900 Worth Of Yeezys)
I got the first email at 10:54 a.m. on a Friday....
Omri Casspi Put His Own Twist On The Shammgod
Sure, it was fairly dad-like in the execution, and yes, he seemed to tweak something in his right leg, but this is undoubtedly Omri Casspi dropping Josh Jackson with what we’ll call the Shammg-d crossover in the first quarter of Grizzlies-Suns last night....
Here Are Some Young NBA Players Who Are Butt
The NBA contains many exciting and fun young lads, rubbery and springy basketball sons filled with promise. Jayson Tatum, De’Aaron Fox, Domantas Sabonis, and so on. But also there are many young basketball men who are dumpster crap. Here, in no particular order, is a list of some young NBA players w...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Boomed The Kings To Hell
Giannis Antetokounmpo, who is LeBron now, put up what might have been his most LeBron-ish box score of the season during last night’s 144-109 win over the Kings. The big ol’ freak was plus-39 in his 30 minutes on the court, and he finished with a 25-12-11 triple-double on 8-of-11 shooting. Sparkling...
Michael Thomas’s Cell Phone Celebration Was Cool, No Matter What The Announcers Said
It was a great game. The Saints scored 35 first-half points, with Drew Brees throwing for three scores. Jared Goff led the Rams all the way back from a 21-point deficit to tie things up in the fourth. Then, late in the fourth quarter, the Saints had the ball in their own territory leading by just th...