at Page 1632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Magic: The Gathering, That Old Nerd Favorite, Is The New Poker
When we reached the last stop on the MAX Yellow Line light rail, a large group of Magic: The Gathering pros loped off the train toward the Portland Expo Center right alongside me. Tall Paul Rietzl, with his square jaw and blonde crew cut … rail-thin David Ochoa, with his owlish glasses … handsome ...
Argentine Woman Says She Was Brutally Beaten For Wearing Soccer Jersey
Above is a picture of Lorena Sabio and her daughter, wearing a River Plate shirt ahead of the club's match against archrivals Boca Juniors last Thursday. Sometime later that evening, she was in the hospital undergoing a total of 14 operations to deal with the savage beating she claims she endured at...
Columbia Football Coach Resigns Following Abuse Allegations
According to a press release from Columbia's university president, head football coach Pete Mangurian, who has led the Columbia football team to 21 straight losses and was recently accused of ignoring concussion diagnoses and being physically abusive by 25 of his players, has resigned. ...
Jayson Werth Gets 10 Days In Jail For Doing 50 MPH Over The Limit
Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth was found guilty of reckless driving today, five months after his Porsche 911 was clocked driving 105 mph in a 55 mph zone on the Beltway in Virginia. He loses his driver's license, and was sentenced to serve 10 days in jail, with the remaining 170 days suspended....
Kentucky Cops Searching For Fugitive John Wayne
Deceased actor John Wayne is a fugitive from justice after escaping from Blackburn Correctional Complex, Lexington TV outlet WDKY reported tonight....
Jameis Winston Is Not A Victim
By now, you've read or heard about Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston's explicit, detailed statement denying that he is guilty of rape, in which he (or someone writing on his behalf) makes the remarkable assertion that "[t]he only thing as vicious as rape is falsely accusing someone of rape." ...
A Holiday Gift Guide For Dads, Who Just Want You To Shut Up
As a dad, I can tell you that what your dad really wants is just a little goddamn peace and quiet so he can read a goddamn book/watch the game/just, like, sit for five minutes without you and your sister doing whatever the hell it is you're doing that's probably going to kill at least one and maybe ...
Portland State Player Fakes Handshake, Steals Ball, Dunks
Portland was up by 14 against Portland State as the game wound down Wednesday. As Portland's Alec Wintering dribbled out the clock, Portland State's Bryce White came up for a handshake. Just kidding! White stole the ball and made a meaningless dunk. Suck it, Portland! Now you only beat Portland Stat...
Columbia Footballers: Coach Forced Us To Play Through Concussions
According to the Columbia Spectator, 25 members of the Columbia football team have sent a letter to the university president calling for the dismissal of their head coach, Pete Mangurian. Among other things, the letter accuses Mangurian of forcing concussed players to continue practicing and playing...
<em>Battle Royale</em>'s Wincing Nastiness Can Never Be Duplicated
Once upon a time, seeking out a way to see Battle Royale, the 2000 Japanese movie about little kids killing each other on an island, felt like finding a copy of The Anarchist Cookbook or something. This movie was never banned in the U.S. the way it was (and still is) in Germany. But even though it q...
Golden Tate's Girlfriend Will Find You If You Bring Up That Rumor
We're probably all familiar with the rumor involving Golden Tate and Russell Wilson. The gist of it is that Tate slept with Wilson's then-wife, Ashton Meem, causing a rift with the Seahawks that came to a head the week before Super Bowl XLVIII, when Percy Harvin punched Tate in the face. Everyone in...
Which NBA Team Screws Up Its Timeouts The Most?
How much do you trust your team's coach to set up a play during a timeout? Probably more than you should....
76ers Get First Win, Are Still A Cynical And Indescribably Awful Fraud
The Philadelphia 76ers managed to beat the Minnesota Timberwolves last night, bringing their season record to 1-17 and avoiding tying the record for most consecutive losses to start a season. They remain the grossest team in the NBA....
Anti-Gay Bigot Torii Hunter Calls Reporter "Prick" Four Times
Torii Hunter is an anti-gay bigot. This is something he has proven with his own words on multiple occasions. Yesterday, at the press conference to announce the one-year, $10.5 million deal he signed to return to the Minnesota Twins, beat writer Mike Berardino of the Saint Paul Pioneer-Press aske...
Jameis Thinks Being Falsely Accused Of Rape Is The Same As Being Raped
The student conduct code hearing to determine whether Jameis Winston violated Florida State's honor code was finally held on Monday and Tuesday, and somehow USA Today has obtained Winston's entire statement before former Florida Supreme Court justice Major Harding. ...
Isolated, Unedited Vocals Of Mariah Carey's Awful Holiday Performance
Remember when Mariah Carey could sing? Most millennials probably can't. "All I Want For Christmas Is You," she sings, but we'd suggest adding "a new voice" to her letter for Santa. Only Rep. Peter King could vocalize something more tone-deaf in New York today....
<i>Denver Post</i> Fires Adrian Dater For Repeated Bad Social Media Behavior
The Denver Post has fired Avalanche writer Adrian Dater, who has written for the Post since 1991, according to his Facebook page. Dater was suspended by the Post two months ago for a Twitter meltdown, and had his inappropriate Twitter direct messages—asking a woman to send him nude photos, and telli...
Video Evidence That We're All Just Living In J.J. Watt's World
This week's episode of Inside the NFL featured a mic'd up J.J. Watt stomping around, talking shit, and wreaking havoc during last Sunday's game against the Titans. These mic'd up segments are commonplace and usually on the boring side, but this one is worth watching from beginning to end simply beca...