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Cockblocked By Grandpappy!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

College ShameDay: Answering The Questions You Weren't Asking About The Early Bowl Games
Our weekly college football shame index previews the pre-Christmas bowls. ...

The Year In JaVale McGee, Our Favorite Basketball Player
No NBA player is closer to Deadspin's heart than JaVale McGee. That's because JaVale McGee only makes spectacular plays—the plays that no one else in the NBA could or would make, because they're cowards. To commemorate the man with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, here's the best of McG...

Someone Please Remind Andy Katz That ESPN Had A Hand In The Big East's Demise
Now that the Big East's non-football schools have decided to ditch the Big East, ESPN senior college basketball writer Andy Katz is among those waxing nostalgic about the Big East's heyday as a hoops league. But at the end of his paean published early this morning, Katz gets a little defensive about...
![Report: Jovan Belcher's Mother Told Police There Was An Argument About The Baby's Paternity Just Before The Murder-Suicide [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1870tj1m5uz96jpg.jpg)
Report: Jovan Belcher's Mother Told Police There Was An Argument About The Baby's Paternity Just Before The Murder-Suicide [UPDATE]
We knew Jovan Belcher's mother was there on the morning the Kansas City Chiefs linebacker murdered his girlfriend before he drove to the team's practice facility and killed himself. We also knew she had heard an argument and that she had called 911 call to report that Kasandra Perkins had been shot....

Marvin McNutt With The Own-Punt Block To End All Others: Eagles-Bengals, In One GIF
Bengals 34, Eagles 13: Well, that was something. For those that actually watched every second of this abomination of a football game—and from that club I exclude myself—I challenge anyone to explain where the redeeming value was in staging such a contest between two clubs that clearly seemed so unr...

A Suffocating Triumph: <em>Zero Dark Thirty</em>, Reviewed
1. I've always thought the best compliment you can give a movie is that, while it's playing, you forget not only that you are watching a movie, but also that you are a person with a life that was going on before the movie and will continue going on afterward. These are the transformative films, the ...

Floyd Mayweather Bet $100,000 On The Warriors Last Night, According To Jarrett Jack's Postgame Interview
The post-game interview that CSN's Jim Barnett conducted with Jarrett Jack was dragging on a little. The Warriors had just won a close one on Miami's home floor on a game-winner by Draymond Green, assisted by Jack himself, and he probably wanted to get into the locker room. Nevertheless, he stood t...

Report: Jason Grilli Comes Right Out And Says The Pirates Suck
The Pittsburgh Pirates recently re-signed reliever Jason Grilli, locking him down for two more years at $6.75 million. Yesterday, during a press conference to announce the deal, Grilli said all the right things about wanting to win in Pittsburgh, about his admiration for Clint Hurdle, about all he's...

Which NFL Pundits Made The Worst Picks In Week 14? Grading ESPN, Yahoo, And CBS
Republished with permission from PunditTracker.com....

What If Big-Time College Football Abandoned The NCAA?
Originally published in Bloomberg View....

Here's A Lady Pantomiming A Double Blowjob At The Celtics Game Last Night
The Celtics beat the Mavericks last night in double overtime, but it's safe to say that the most important thing to happen during the game took place in the third quarter, during a timeout: this unhappy-looking woman pretended to give a double blowjob for some reason....

How Maurice Clarett Lost His Way, Bombed Out Of The NFL, Planned A Murder, Missed An Exit, And Found Himself (And Warren Buffett) In Prison
In 2009, Joe Moglia, then the CEO of TD Ameritrade, quit his job to coach football. He wanted to coach a college team. But no athletic director wanted him. So he took a job, in 2011, as head coach of the UFL's Omaha Nighthawks, a team that included former Buckeye Maurice Clarett. Moglia had an unort...
!["It Is Totally Out Of Control": Here's The Letter That Started Washington State's Investigation Of Mike Leach [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1886jpikeef7zjpg.jpg)
"It Is Totally Out Of Control": Here's The Letter That Started Washington State's Investigation Of Mike Leach [UPDATED]
Washington State University announced today that an internal review had cleared football coach Mike Leach and his staff of any misconduct. Last month, star wide receiver Marquess Wilson was suspended for violating team rules, after which he quit the team and released a public letter alleging that co...

Infographic: Watch Coaches Climb Up The Hierarchy Of College Football
Three Saturdays ago, Tennessee lost to Vanderbilt, 41-18, dropping the Volunteers to 4-7 on the season and 0-7 in the SEC. This pretty inconsequential game has led to a brief but wonderful domino effect, wherein: ...

Luncheon Meats, Ranked
24. Bologna 23. Head cheese 22. Swiss cheese 18. (tie) Olive loaf 18. (tie) Pickle-and-pimento loaf 18. (tie) Dutch loaf 18. (tie) Chicken loaf 17. Sopressata 16. Chicken breast 15. Boiled ham 14. Genoa salami 13. Smoked turkey 12. Turkey 11. Liverwurst 10. Braunschweiger 9. Hard salami 8. Virginia ...
![Saint Joseph's Player Gives Villanova Fans The Finger, Then Blows The Game [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18853efgfm3hxjpg.jpg)
Saint Joseph's Player Gives Villanova Fans The Finger, Then Blows The Game [UPDATED]
There are goats. And then there are goats. Get a load of what Saint Joseph's junior forward Halil Kanacevic did during last night's loss to Philly rival Villanova. He shit the bed during the game's final two minutes, but he also made it easy for everyone to dog him for it because he had given the Vi...

<i>The Big Bang Theory</i> Doubled Up <i>Thursday Night Football</i>: Last Week's TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen, Sports Business Journal's John Ourand and @TVSportsRTGS. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all household...

Tommy Tuberville Literally Left Texas Tech In The Middle Of A Dinner With Texas Tech Recruits
Tommy Tuberville left Texas Tech for Cincinnati this weekend, an odd occurrence that left the athletic department at Texas Tech "completely blindsided." Also blindsided by Tuberville's exit: The recruits with whom he was having dinner, when Tuberville left—to go to the bathroom? to take a phone call...

The Year In Gronk
Rob Gronkowski is what would happen if Dr. Frankenstein created a monster, but instead of blood, the doctor filled his veins with Keystone Light. Here are some of the best Gronk stories from this past year....