at Page 1978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Undercover Cops Fucking Love Wearing Old NFL Jerseys
We've received two dispatches from reader Al G. concerning the undercover police presence at Electric Zoo. Electric Zoo, by the way is a festival for music made by computers or something....

The Official Boise State Twitter Feed Was Honest For About 30 Seconds After The Broncos Lost Their Season Opener
Here's the official account for Boise State Athletics (Go Broncs!) reacting to Friday night's loss to the Michigan State Spartans. They're right, of course—Boise State didn't score after halftime, and ended the game with only 206 yards of total offense—but for some reason they still felt compelled t...

Alfredo Aceves Had A Weird Day
Not really sure what was going on with Alfredo Aceves yesterday, but he was acting like a bigger basket case than usual. He and Dustin Pedroia got into an argument in the dugout—probably because Aceves threw over to second, like, 17 times and Pedroia seemed ill-prepared for each successive toss—an...

Dwight Howard Thanks Orlando With Pictures Of Dwight Howard And Dwight Howard's Name Blaring In All Caps. Dwight Howard.
He also said some nice stuff about the city of Orlando and its residents that may or may not have been ripped off from the theme to Titanic....

Brent Musburger Bleeped By ESPN Censors After Saying Something Naughty
We're not sure exactly what Brent Musburger is saying here, because we're officially out of the business of reading lips. But his comments during tonight's Michigan-Alabama blowout were something that necessitated censors using the seven-second delay, and ones Musburger later remarked were "a Freu...

Beer And Game Pairing: Hell Or High Watermelon With Bowling Green At Florida
Fruit and beer have an uneasy relationship, much like Gators fans and Florida sucking. Yet here we are, in 2012, and just as I'm watching this unsteady SEC power flail against some team called Bowling Green, I'm also enjoying the seasonal release Hell or High Watermelon by the San Francisco brewery ...

Another Fan Dies At A Football Game, This Time After Falling From Upper Level To Lower Level While Celebrating A Touchdown
Isaac Grubb, of Lenoir City, Tennessee, died on Friday night after falling over a 33-inch balcony railing in the Georgia Dome and dropping to the lower level. Grubb fell on another man who was in attendance, but that fan only suffered minor injuries. The Facebook page of an Isaac Grubb from Lenior C...

Franco Harris Brought A Cardboard Joe Paterno To Beaver Stadium Today
Franco Harris may be able to pick a wobbly incompletion from just above the turf, but he doesn't know how to pick his battles. His insistence on becoming the alpha Joe Paterno apologist rings with the dregs of denial: "He played such a minor part in this." Aaaaand now he's dragging JoePa's cardboard...

Mysterious License Plate Probably Says "Penis Trolls"
Pens trails? Panster lulz? Pan steer lies? Pins TRL Z? Like a Total Request Live reference? Pines tour reals? No, probably not...puns trials? Pains too...reals? That would be kind of deep, right? Punster lies? Pans tear roles? Panster rolls? Is that a thing? That sort sounds like it could be brand ...

Deadspin's Sign Of The Apocalypse
Deadspin has long admired Sports Illustrated's weekly Sign of the Apocalypse, a cheeky chronicle of sports' wacky tapestry. But why stop at one sign per week? This civilization of ours has plenty of foibles to go around....

Yes, Penn State's Band Played "We Are Young" During Today's Game
The Penn State Blue Band put forth a rendition of Fun's "We Are Young" during the first half of today's matchup against Ohio. Should they have done that? (Chime in in the comments.) [ESPN]...

Ohio State's Devin Smith Made A Catch That's An Early Nominee For Play Of The Year
After a slow start that found themselves down 3-0 to Miami U., Ohio State broke ahead with this ridiculous catch by sophomore receiver Devin Smith, a one-handed affair that led Big Ten Network announcers in search of new underwear. [BTN]...

Your College Football Master Schedule: September 1
Schedule via. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the Coaches Poll....

Paul Ryan Lied About Being Good At Marathons
Republic vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan takes fitness very, very seriously. Except when he's completely bullshitting about it. Runner's World reports that Ryan told a radio interviewer that he used to run marathons, before back trouble forced him to keep his runs under 10 miles, and his best ti...

Cockblocked By Anti-Semitism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Russian Powerlifter Drops 400 Pounds On His Chest, Reportedly Dies
Be warned: What happened to poor Igor Golushkin in the video above is not for the squeamish. These details are unconfirmed, but according to this report by Red Hot Russia, Golushkin was trying to bench press 185 kg (approximately 408 pounds) when the bar fell on his chest, tearing his diaphragm an...

If Patrick McEnroe Is Talking About Andy Roddick, Then Generic Text Goes Here
It seems even the Worldwide Leader can be at a loss for words sometimes, as this SportsCenter report from Pat McEnroe about the impending retirement of tennis star Andy Roddick provided us some Fun With Graphics fodder....

Steve Tasker's Telestrator Dong Can Only Mean The NFL Season Is Almost Here
Sure, there are numerous telltale signs that the NFL season is fast approaching, but it's not until you see that first true Telestrator Dong that it all starts to really sink in....

Bryce Harper Sprints Around The Bases For This Season's Fastest Home Run Trot
Bryce Harper has a way of making highlights of normal everyday things, like what's in the trunk of his car or how he answers a reporter's inane question. Then there's tonight, when Harper made everyone stop and take notice of what should've been a plain old home run trot, but Harper instead ran aro...
