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32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Press Conference By Lawyers For Former Penn State President Graham Spanier Was An Exercise In Bullshit
As expected, the blame-shifting from those at Penn State implicated by the Freeh report has begun. Lawyers for Graham Spanier, the university president fired last November in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, held a press conference in Philadelphia this morning to try and explain their client'...

Mr. Sports Journo, Twitter's Favorite Anonymous Sportswriter, Is Here To Take Your Questions
Twitter is a medium tailor-made for unfiltered opinions and anonymity, and Mr. Sports Journo has excelled in cornering both areas while maintaining an air of mystery going on two years. We don't know who he is (although we certainly have our suspicions). All anyone seems to truly know about him—and...

Batista Takes In An Ashlee Simpson Concert: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

Bartolo Colon Tests Positive For Testosterone, Suspended 50 Games
Like his Dominican compatriot Melky Cabrera, who also plays on the west coast and tested positive for testosterone and was suspended for 50 games by MLB, Bartolo Colon had recently been playing better than we expected him to. Colon, who pitched for the Yankees last year and Oakland this year, had a ...

Area Couple Offended By "Loud, Sexualized, Pagan" Olympics
There is nothing in the world like the letters to the editor section of a small newspaper. Remember the Ohio man who wanted the "bisexual" buckeye removed as the state tree? By definition, the people who write these things have too much time on their hands and a capacity for outrage that only kicks ...

Everyone Hates Preseason Football, Except The 9.5 Million People Who Watched Colts-Steelers: TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Busted On Child Porn Charges
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner faces child pornography charges after being booked by Eagle Lake cops at his home today. The Division II Mavericks' coach has been on administrative leave since Friday after university officials escorted him off the practice field....

Georgia May Have To Self-Report NCAA Violation After Dumbass Fan Calls Recruit
Steven Nelson is a cornerback for the College of the Sequoias, and as a three-star recruit on Rivals.com is one of the more anticipated juco transfers coming out after this season. He committed to Georgia back in February, but is keeping his options open and touring other interested schools. He repo...

Ask An Anonymous PR Guy About The Shady Work Of Being A Pro Athlete's Publicist
Gang, meet Anonymous PR Guy. Anonymous PR Guy, say hello to the gang. Anonymous PR Guy is an actual publicist for a handful of pro athletes, and in exchange for his anonymity, he's agreed to share a few stories with us about what his job is really like. We've always wondered, and now we know: He's a...

"When I Get A Clear Shot...": 25 Years Ago, Dale Earnhardt Received This Death Threat For His Ornery Driving
On May 17, 1987, Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Bill Elliott swapped paint and made a place for themselves in NASCAR lore. The Winston, a newly created all-star race at Charlotte Motor Speedway, came down to a sprint, with Earnhardt and Elliott jockeying for the lead. After bumping and nudging for two laps,...

Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of Tom Brady Being Weird With A Dog
Tom Brady didn't play in last night's Patriots-Eagles game, which means that New Englanders need to look elsewhere for their fill of the golden boy. He will not appear in WHDH b-roll, he will not call into Dennis & Callahan, he will not appear below the fold on the front page of the Hartford Courant...

The Genius Of <em>Enemy Of The State</em>, Tony Scott's Best Film
In the reaction to the sudden death of Tony Scott, a quick consensus emerged: Scott was a more interesting director than he'd been given credit for throughout his career; Top Gun and his general style helped usher in the age of Michael Bay and Olivier Megaton-ism; and the one movie everyone could ag...

Nothing Better Illustrates The Futility Of Replacement Refs Than This Video Of One Being Hit By A Football
Jerry Frump wore the white hat for last night's Patriots-Eagles preseason game, and like all of this year's replacement-refereed games it was a bit of a disaster for the zebras. While players openly voice concern for their health in games managed by scabs, the NFL seems perfectly content to head i...
![Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]
Will Lucas from Fairfield, Conn., threw a no-hitter in the Little League World Series yesterday and was invited on the The Dan Patrick Show today to talk about it....

Kentucky Monitors Athletes' Social Media Accounts For Sports Agents' Names
Just in case you thought the whole creepy social media monitoring thing was starting to die down, it's not. Back in May, we got a glimpse into LSU's use of a social media monitoring company called UDiligence, where athletes were already being monitored for the use of hundreds of hilarious trigger w...

Peter King Mentioned The Same Sports Apparel Company 33 Times In Less Than A Month (And Then Apologized For It)
During NFL training camp season, Sports Illustrated senior writer Peter King has trundled from site to site on a bus provided by EvoShield, a "Game-Changing Protective Apparel" company. If EvoShield did this in the hope that King would mention EvoShield a few times, he more than delivered: In all, b...

Chipper Jones Calls Curt Schilling A "Shock Jock"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schilling says Jones might come back next year. Jones says Schilling is full of it....