at Page 2016 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Patrice Evra Wipes His "Backside" With A Teammate's Shirt, France Beside Itself
What you see here is, evidently, a grown man and professional athlete wiping his "backside" with a shirt and then sniffing it. This quote, which is being attributed to a Parisian magazine, Le 10 Sport evidences France's apoplexy....
![Jaguars WR Justin Blackmon Arrested On Suspicion of Aggravated DUI [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17onn270wbc91jpg.jpg)
Jaguars WR Justin Blackmon Arrested On Suspicion of Aggravated DUI [UPDATE]
The Jaguars first round draft pick is being held in a Stillwater, Oklahoma jail on $1,000 bail after he was arrested on aggravated DUI charges. A police report has not been made available yet, but the team is aware of the report....

Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...

Pablo Sandoval Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault
Rehab was going pretty well for San Francisco's third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, until sometime mid-afternoon Friday: working out and rehabbing on his own, enjoying a break from the daily grind of Major League Baseball, getting a little "consensual, personal relationship of a sexual nature" action....

Santana No-Hitter Gets Asterisk In St. Louis
I've never read the St. Louis Post-Dispatch before in my life, but I have to say, this cover page right here, correctly noting that Johan Santana was aided by a blown call at third base, is about as unbiased as it gets. Anyone crying "homerism" just doesn't get it....

Does Our Mystery Mets Dong Belong To Ike Davis?
Last night we showed you a sneak peak inside the Mets locker room provided by SNY. Today, an industrious reddit user has taken several context clues and mashed them together with a few inferences and a dash of "sure, I measured the length between my penis and the floor" to come to the conclusion th...

Do Not Ask Kurt Busch About His Probation, Or He Will Threaten To Beat The Shit Out Of You
Resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch continued his campaign of jackassery Saturday after the Nationwide Series race at Dover today, verbally attacking a reporter who dared to ask about the probation NASCAR imposed after Busch's May 12 incident with Ryan Newman....

AP Discovers That SEC Schools Do Not Take Marijuana Use As Seriously As The NCAA
The Associated Press has a really long article about all this research they did with regard to smoking pot in the SEC. The long and the short of it is this: different schools police themselves differently and they all are much more lenient on their own stoner scholar athletes than the NCAA....

ESPN's Brad Daugherty Promos NBA Playoff Game As "Paul Pierce & The Celtics Vs. LeBron James & The Officials"
ESPN analyst Brad Daugherty is one of the network's best NASCAR minds, but it was in basketball that he originally made his fortune. Thus, the NASCAR Countdown studio crew handing the reins for the promo reader of tomorrow night's Eastern Conference Finals game over to Daugherty was probably obvio...

Bubba Watson Involved In Menacing Late-Night Car Chase
So this is a weird one, and it's from Ohio. Bubba Watson was in Columbus this week for the Memorial Tournament—a tournament for which he did not make the cut. But he has a pretty good excuse: for 37 minutes Tuesday night, some unknown driver chased a car carrying Watson, his wife and newly adopted ...

Florida's Jonathon Crawford Threw The First Postseason No-Hitter In 21 Years Last Night
#1 Florida's opening-round NCAA tournament game against Bethune-Cookman proved history-making, as sophomore pitcher Jonathon Crawford no-hit the Wildcats for the Gators' first solo no-hitter since May 23, 1991—when John Burke kept Furman hitless....

Michelle Beadle's Final Day At ESPN Included A Licking From Mackerel Jordan
The very first time Deadspin mentioned Michelle Beadle, it was to feature a video of her being eaten by inflatable ZOOperstars mascot Mackerel Jordan. It's fitting, then, her departure from ESPN (a nine minute long staged ceremony that was equal parts sweet and contrived) had her saying goodbyes to...

Which Mets Player's Dong Did SNY Broadcast After Santana's No-Hitter? (NSFW)
SNY went justifiably nuts after Johan Santana pitched the Mets' first no-hitter, and the team's flagship network took advantage of the occasion to interview various Mets players about the feat. So here's a clip of their interview with pitcher R.A. Dickey, during which an unidentified dong emerges ...

Aroldis Chapman's Stripper Friend Can't Get Her Story Straight About That Hotel Room Robbery
Remember that story the other day about Aroldis Chapman's Pittsburgh hotel room being robbed while he was across the river at the Reds-Pirates game? Remember how it involved a woman in the room who was found bound by her hands and screaming shortly after the robbery occurred? Weird, right? Well, now...

The NFL Reportedly Has A Detailed Bounty Payout List Kept By The Saints
All along the Saints—particularly the litigious Jonathan Vilma—have called upon the NFL to release whatever evidence they collected in investigating the Saints bounty scandal. This isn't that release, but if it's one of those "official leaks," it's just as good. Apparently the Saints kept a ledger t...

Cockblocked By Asthma!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....


Bobcats Try To Push The Narrative That Michael Jordan <i>Didn't</i> Pick Adam Morrison
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Now he's all Bernie Bickerstaff's fault....

Reds Third Baseman/Superhero Todd Frazier Has Been Crafting His Legend For Years
You already know about Todd Frazier's mythical ability to hit home runs without the use of his hands, as well as his unmatched heroism in the face of murderous chunks of steak, but did you know that Todd Frazier has been making a legend of himself since he was a child?...

"That's What Friends Are For": A Tribute To Jack Twyman
If the Jack Twyman story were simply about basketball, it would be extraordinary enough: a six-time all-star in 11 NBA seasons. A Hall of Famer who was the first NBA player to average 30 points per game for an entire season, who retired in 1966 as the league's second all-time leading scorer. A broad...