at Page 2021 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably
It's time once again to feature the mentally challenged and/or substance-abuse-impaired knuckleheads who jump over the fence and run around on the field of play at sporting events. Today we find ourselves in lovely San Francisco as fans take in the Athletics-Giants game....

Was Pat Burrell Dancing Shirtless In A Philly Bar Last Night?
That's the rumor out of Philadelphia this morning and we'd love to hear more information if you've got it. We'd especially love pictures. Delicious, shirtless (with possible blazer combo), dancing pictures....

Gangrenous, Flesh-Eating Penis Infection Results In Most Harrowing Paragraph Ever
I'm not sure if we can technically call this "Deadspin XY" anymore but just suspend your disbelief for a bit, it's the only way I can legitimize writing about it. Enrique Milla has sued an anesthesiologist in Miami for failing to recognize he was a surgical risk due to uncontrolled diabetes. What d...

Cops Will Steal Your Girlfriend!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: <em>Feces In The Outfield</em>
A sewer line underneath PNC Park clogged, presumably with semi-digested Primanti Bros. sandwiches and broken dreams. Workers had to dig a hole in the outfield to get at the pipes, and will presumably have it repaired before the Bucs return from a road trip and Andrew McCutchen plunges into a chest-d...

Ohio State Self-Reports 46 Violations, But Really, Who Gives A Shit?
The Cleveland Plain Dealer obtained a list of 46 secondary violations committed by Ohio State over the past 12 months, which they self-reported to the NCAA. They've posted all the documents, but here is a choice sampling:...

The Los Angeles Kings Are A Hotter Ticket Than The Clippers
All three of the professional teams that call LA's Staples Center home are in the playoffs, and all three are scheduled to play host to opponents this weekend—a total of six games in four days, in fact, beginning with last night:...

It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan
1. "Jay, it's Pat. Pat Riley? Yes, I remember when I cursed you out and told you to never, ever call me 'Pat,' and then hit you pretty good with my briefcase. How many stitches did you need? That's a lot of stitches. But we're friends, right? You can call me Pat anytime. How's Michelle?...

What Boxing Writing Can Teach Us About Everything: A.J. Liebling On Moore-Marciano
Between the Victorian era and the Sixties, boxing was a regular and prominent feature of American life. Knowing something about the fights—being good with your hands, or maintaining an opinion about the welterweight division or fixed bouts or how to beat a southpaw—was a very common piece of equipme...

Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony
What's the saying? If you'll keg stand for something, you'll fall for anything? Promoters of the Preakness Stakes must believe it. Turns out that Kegasus, spokesbeast for the Preakness and the best mascot in all of sports, is a sham....

Bobcats Facebook Poll Goes Poorly
Charlotte's official Facebook page put up a poll, which could have been fun. It was an inane question, sure—"what pick will the Bobcats get in the lottery"—but it could have been a window into the fanbase's level of pessimism. The Cats have the best odds, so anyone picking anything but "No. 1 overal...

Glory Days: When I Was A Semipro Football Player, A Broadcaster Once Said I "Might Be Bionic"
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days....

Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....

Why Can't Michael Bay Make Stoopid Movies Like This? <i>Battleship</i>, Reviewed.
One of the knocks on Battleship is that it plays like a ripoff of a Michael Bay movie, but frankly, I wish any of Bay's recent films had been a fun as this very silly let's-kill-the-aliens action flick is. Directed by actor-turned-director Peter Berg (Hancock, the Friday Night Lights film), Battlesh...

No, NPR Veteran Nina Totenberg Was Not Removed From The Roger Clemens Trial For Eating Potato Chips
Word was circulating yesterday that Nina Totenberg, the 68-year-old legal-affairs reporter for NPR and the doyenne of the Supreme Court press corps, had gotten tossed out of the Roger Clemens trial for eating potato chips. At least, that's what we heard from a tipster....

Jonathan Vilma Sues Roger Goodell For Defamation
Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma was suspended one full season for his role in the Saints' bounty scandal, and immediately appealed. Beyond that, the NFLPA argued before independent arbitrator Shyam Das (we've heard his name before) that Roger Goodell didn't have the authority to punish players....

Former ECU Running Back Arrested After Driving Through A Cemetery
ECU's Brandon Jackson was kicked off the team in 2010 after an arrest for public intoxication and resisting arrest—his third arrest in two seasons. He's found trouble again, being charged for a hit-and-run incident two weeks ago in which he allegedly drove his Lexus through a cemetery, knocking over...

A Commemorative GIF Of Brett Lawrie's "Unlucky" Helmet Spike That Hit Umpire Bill Miller And Earned Him A Four-Game Suspension
Blue Jays infielder Brett Lawrie will sit out the next four games after throwing a tantrum on home plate umpire Bill Miller during the ninth inning of Toronto's game against Tampa Bay. "It took a bad hop and hit him totally by accident," stated Lawrie, who appealed the suspension though he does pla...

Jamie Moyer Continues To Break Every Oldest Baseball Player's Record
Record-breaking old man Jamie Moyer, who legend has it is older than dirt, legged out a two-run infield single tonight, becoming the geezeriest ballplayer to ever drive in a run. Pitcher Jack Quinn of the Brooklyn Dodgers was 48 years, 11 months, and six days when he hit a three-run double back in ...

Notre Dame LB Arrested At House Party Allegedly Told Cop, "My People Will Get You"
Notre Dame quarterback Tommy Rees initially was the one who looked like he was in deep shit after what allegedly happened when cops broke up a huge off-campus house party two weeks ago. Rees faces misdemeanor charges including resisting arrest and battery, though prosecutors did reduce that latter c...