at Page 2218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked By The Homeless! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure, where we chronicle four heartwarming stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Winner: The Miami Heat's Smothering Of Banana Man
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Heat's culture of secrecy, which forbade local media from speaking to...a fan who wears a banana suit....

320-Lb. White Men Can't Jump
Ravens OT Joe Reitz did the honors last night for a TD celebration goalpost dunk. Or, he tried. Which is sad considering he's played more years of high level basketball than football in his life....

Pat Tillman's Father To Brigadier General: "Fuck You ... And Yours"
The Huffington Post has Pat Tillman Sr.'s 2005 letter to Brigadier General Gary M. Jones, who was leading the investigation into the death of his son: "I assume, therefore, that you are part of this shameless bullshit." [Huffington Post]...

Did Poynter Go Too Far In Publishing Story Alleging That Deadspin Went Too Far?
The Dongbudsman is distinguished fellow in media ethics at the Deadspin Center for Excellence in Journalism and Penis Photography....

Remembering The Greatest Basebrawl Of All Time
Twenty-six years ago today, the Braves and the Padres decided to forgo their obligations of playing baseball and instead sporadically cleared their benches and punched each other in the face. It's one of the best baseball fights ever, if not the best....

And That'll Do It For Chipper
Chipper Jones's season (career?) is over after an MRI revealed a torn ACL. And with that, the last Larry standing in the majors is Dewayne Wise. [AJC]...

This Is Probably Not Matt Kemp's Penis
Despite MediaTakeOut trumpeting this as the Dodgers outfielder choking up on his swing, we're dubious. And we've seen some athlete dong in our day....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza: Part Two
Welcome to the second edition of the Hoopsters of Lollapalooza 2010. There's been some debate over whether of not some of the entrants are real "hipsters" or merely "bros." Why though? This is a forum for ridicule, not ontological precision. Onto the pictures! Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

The Reds-Cardinals "Brawl" Derided For Your Pleasure
For a second, last night's Cardinals-Reds "brawl" was pretty exciting, but only in the sense of "Oh, this'll be good." And then it wasn't good. For this reason, it deserves to be mocked. With video! Three times!...

Why Is There A Nationals Cap In The Original <em>Karate Kid</em>?
The movie came out in 1984, 20 years before the not-yet-extant Nationals unveiled their "curly W" logo. Time traveler? Or something more benign? Probably time traveler....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “In The Fade”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "In The Fade" by Queens Of The Stone Age....

Ten-Year Ban For Whipping Out His Junk
One of New Zealand's premier lawn bowlers is facing a decade-long ban from the sport after he "flopped out my old fella" to tell his teammates they were "playing like dicks." New Zealand's a strange, strange place....

Bat-Wielding Vigilante Takes On Boston Troublemakers (Video Back Up)
A group of punks are terrorizing passing motorists, until they mess with the wrong guy. He steps out of his car...metal bat in hand. This shit is bananas. (NSFW language)...

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza
This weekend's Lollapalooza was dubbed "Hoopster Mecca" by one tipster, and after sifting through all the submissions it's clear that the hoopsters made Lollapalooza the site of their Hajj. So, here's part one of a multipart series. Christ, just look at these fucking hoopsters. Part One | Part Two ...

Philadelphia Eagles Lineman Doesn't Like It When <em>True Blood</em> Goes Super Gay
Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman, Todd Herremans, posted this lovely Tweet this morning but then soon realized he may come off like a gay vampire-hating fool. Or, at least, the Eagles did. [Where's Weems?]...

M's Celebrate Japanese Heritage Night By Firing Manager Of Japanese Heritage
Great timing, Mariners. You promise fans "a fun-filled night of Japanese culture," and hours before first pitch you ax Don Wakamatsu, the majors' first Japanese-American manager. To make amends, Chone Figgins will be performing seppuku before tonight's game. [Mariners.com]...

Last Night's Winner: The Return Of Bill Walton
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like weird, wonderful ol' Bill Walton, at last healthy again and back to doing the thing he does best: being ridiculous in public....