at Page 2241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Frenchmen Don’t Want You To Get Laid. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Orel Hershiser Goes To Coachella: The Lost Tweets
You may not be aware of this, but late-'80s Los Angeles Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser has been missing for almost a week now. He was last heard from on Friday, April 17th, somewhere inside the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California....
Update: ABC Lawyers Are Freaking Out Because <em>Lost</em> Call Sheet Has "Elements Of Truth"
Well that's unfortunate. I guess this call sheet a reader sent us actually contains spoilers or something. [Gawker]...
NCAA Tournament Adds Networks, Expands To "Only" 68 Teams
In a surprising move, the NCAA signed a new television deal that will add more networks to CBS's coverage of the men's basketball tournament, but will not expand the field to 96 teams. Wait, did they actually listen to us?...
Fat, Sweaty, Drunk Man Teaches You How NOT To Perform Standup
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why....
Last Night's Winner: The Almighty Dollar
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Daniel Goldstein, the last man standing between the Nets and their shiny Brooklyn arena, who just got $3 million to sit down. That stinks....
Microsoft Is Pretty Much Running Seattle Sports
It's not just the WNBA team that's a walking advertisement for Microsoft. The Sounders, Seahawks, and even Pete Carroll's draft strategy are all being brought to you by Bill Gates' brainchild....
Atlanta Cop Takes A Swing At Braves Fan
Some drunk fans decided to mess with a Fulton County cop's motorcycle outside Turner Field after Saturday's game. He responded with a fist and a Taser threat, and they responded with drunk sincerity. The deputy is under investigation....
When You're Not Gay Enough For Gay Softball
Three bisexual men are suing the organizers of the Gay World Series for excluding them, because they occasionally like to have sex with women....
Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....
Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...
<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...
In Case You Missed The Horrible Live Chat With Sarah Silverman, Here's A Rundown
From dealing with her handlers or her publicist or assistant or handbag holder or whatever other title given to the people hired to manage Sarah Silverman's Literary Life, this live chat, dear loathsome readers, sucked....
Kid Leaps Over Catcher, Compels You To Watch A College Baseball Highlight Just This Once
This is Brian Kownacki of Fordham (Royals of the A-10) leaping over the catcher for Iona (Royals of the MAAC), capping an eight-run comeback and performing a feat last accomplished by Wesley Snipes, when he jumped over an IRS agent. [YouTube, via]...
The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...
Now's The Time To Talk To Sarah Silverman....
Sarah's down in the comments, awaiting your scorn and scrutiny. Ask her about pooping, talk about your favorite Jews, be insensitive and nasty. You know, be yourselves. Be sure to read the excerpt, buy the book, save the whales....
Excerpt From Sarah Silverman's <em>The Bedwetter</em>
The following is taken from Chapter 1 of Sarah Silverman's memoir, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. Chat with her in a followup post....
Target Field's Urinal Problem
The early reviews for the Twins' new ballpark have been almost unanimous in their praise — almost. The lines outside the men's restrooms have been long, even longer than the women's. This makes no sense. We need answers....
New York Rangers Are Underage Drinkers, Hipster Scum
Sorry, Fauxhemian scum. Anyway, that's Brian Boyle and 20-year-old Michael Del Zotto hitting up a Boston College party after the MGMT concert. Nice Natty Ices, guys. [Watch The Gap Sports]...
Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....