at Page 2273 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Down Go Some More Yalies
This unfortunate individual was given the perp-walk treatment during the snooty drunkfest known as Yale/Harvard this past Saturday. I'm sure there are far more entertaining photos (like this!) available from this event, so please send them along....

Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...

High Schooler Celebrates Meaningless Block With Trip To The Gun Show
This ridiculous Tecmo Bowl punt return is okay, but I'm really posting this for the goofball who blindsides a tackler, then flexes for his buddies while the play is still happening behind him. It's all about you, Anonymous Special Teamer....

Matthew Stafford Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers....

Full Moon Over Chicago
Considering the flood of emails, you people are all about Devin Hester's ass. I'm not here to judge, so we present it in all its glory after the jump....

These Men Are The Best QBs Of The Day. Really.
I'm sure the fact that they were facing the Lions and Browns defenses had nothing to do with their spectacular numbers. But some quality defenses had tough afternoons as well....

Your Late Games Open Thread
The Jets got an early morning wakeup call in their New England hotel, apparently a common occurrence for teams preparing to play the Patriots. No word yet if Mark Sanchez got the required amount of beauty sleep. [PFT]...

University With Weight Requirements Probably Has Terrible Offensive Line
A Pennsylvania college has made BMI as important as GPA when it comes to graduating, and some soon-to-be degree-less fatties are raising a stink....

Nate Robinson, Getting His Terrible Teams Mixed Up
As if the 85-point lead the YES Network spotted them wasn't enough, the Nets also received help from an unlikely source: Nate Robinson shooting at the wrong basket. (I only say "unlikely" because the shot actually went in.)...

Telestrator Dong: An Analysis
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Early Game Open Thread: This Rivalry Has Gotten Cuddly
Today Michigan and OSU do their annual dance of the overcrowded football stadiums with yawning interest outside of I-75. Blame Rich-Rod. The Duke Benterns battle the Artist Formerly Known As Katrinas Of Miami. Isiah v. Tebow. [LMK]...

"Faces In the Crowd" Brought To You By Valtrex
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...

Horndog Hero David Berson Rumored Leaving ESPN (Kissing Suzy Update)
Bristol justice is swift. Programming VP David Berson, known around these parts as the man who was engaged in a long-time affair with Kate Lacey, is apparently leaving ESPN. This may or may not be related to his horndoggedness....

OSU Students Wallow In Their Own Urine
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Watch This, Then Go Check Your Water Supply For Drugs
No words...They should have sent a poet....

Whitlock: Mangino's Oozing Pumpkin The Root Of All His Coaching Woes
Jason Whitlock offers his funky-fresh perspective on the absurd Mark Mangino poking situation by positing that the beleaguered coach's problems could have all been avoided had he not weighed "450 to 500 pounds." Fat-on-fat crime ensues....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Come On Down To Crazy Joe's Big Red Machines!
Always one to stay ahead of the curve, Joe Morgan has decided that now is the time to get into the booming business of auto sales. At Joe Morgan Honda, your starter's Won-Loss Percentage is your credit! [Cincinnati.com]...

Study: College Basketball Refs Suck, Too
A couple of professors watched a bunch of college basketball games and came to the very reasonable conclusion, in a peer-reviewed academic journal, that they were all being reffed by Dick Bavetta....