at Page 2313 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Is This The End Of Tom Glavine?
Tommy Glavine was all set to make his major league debut this season, after fully rehabbing from offseason surgery and throwing 11 straight shutout innings in the minors—right before the Braves said, "Thanks, but no thanks."...

Nick Schuyler's Sad, Inked Tribute To His Friends
The tattoo at left — an anchor overlying a cross — belongs to Nick Schuyler, lone survivor of the Gulf of Mexico boat accident that killed Will Bleakley, Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith. Because this a dumb world, the photo was sent by a Schuyler "fan" to the thedirty.com. [tampabay.com]...

The Thin Line Between Fan and Fanatic
Let's say you love the Chicago Bears. (Relax....it's just an example.) And let's say you don't mind having a few dozen tattoos on your body. That doesn't logically follow that you need 92 Bears autographs permanently inked in your skin....

<em>Sports Illustrated</em>'s Many, Many Chosen Ones
Here's the cover of the new Sports Illustrated, in which 16-year-old Bryce Harper is declared the "Chosen One." Sound familiar? It should....

Charles Barkley Is Still Convinced Charles Barkley Is Doing Just Fine
Seattle PI columnist Jim Moore had a few minutes of conversation with Charles Barkley, who's promoting the American Century Championship golf tournament he headlines ever year....

John Sterling Still Struggling To Learn Yankees Lineup
"Voice of the Yankees" (as long as you don't own a TV) John Sterling has a made another memorable home run call. Mostly because he used his signature Alex Rodriguez-based "catchpharse" to celebrate a dinger by Hideki Matsui....

Crazy Parents Work, But...
What do Serena Williams, Andre Agassi and Mary Pierce have in common? They all were the products of obsessive — even sociopathic — fathers and, more to the point, they enjoyed the kind of success no up-and-coming American tennis prodigy can currently boast. And maybe that's not a coincidence....

Not Even Tasers Can Stop The Gators
Florida's starting cornerback Janoris Jenkins had a brainstorm this weekend, powered by a few thousand watts of taser juice courtesy of the local police. As if that could ever slow down a Gator superstar....

Add Trannies To The List Of People Faintly Annoyed By Danica Patrick
The new Danica Patrick commercial: clever deconstruction of gender identity or grievous insult to the transgender community? Discuss. [Trans Universe, via All Left Turns]...

How LeBron Could Have Avoided Handshakegate Without Shaking Hands
Sports columnists must love LeBron James. Not only does he provide fanciful fodder during the regular season and permit them to wax rhapsodic as witnesses during the playoffs, but even when his season is done, he gives them the material they need for their next-day opinions....

Tom Brady Even Heals Better Than A Normal Person
Brady's surgeon on the quarterback's rehab: "With regard to his recovery of strength, I've never seen anything quite like it. With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back." Sweet jeebus, who is this guy? Wolverine? [LA Times]...

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Gatorade
The fancy schmancy Gatorade dispenser that has adorned the home dugout at Wrigley Field this summer is being removed and replaced with a boring old water cooler. Why? Because people can't be trusted to have nice things....

ESPN Engages In A Bit Of Time Travel
A tipster sent us this shot of the Chicago skyline from last night's Dodgers-Cubs broadcast on ESPN. Pretty, isn't it? Pretty much a lie, that is. The city hasn't looked like this since 2004, when the Sun-Times building you see at left gave way to Trump's unsightly monument to himself....

<em>Sports Illustrated South Africa</em> Distances Itself From Hitlery Ad Campaign
Remember that rather gauche Sports Illustrated South Africa fake-cover ad campaign? The one with Der Führer getting the ol' SI jinx dropped on his head? Well, the magazine now claims it didn't like the ads, either....

We Were All Witnesses
"Well, that guy is not in the league anymore. The other 2-3 is now on the good side now. That other 2-3 is gone, so we don't have to worry about that no more." [LeBron James, after his last-second shot won Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals]...

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
Ohio State faces a team from the South in the postseason, loses 37-6. Wait ... this story isn't a repeat? And it was actually a baseball game? Oh, that's unfortunate. [Rumors and Rants]...

For Those Curious About The High School Quiz Bowl Championships
If you're not watching on whatever television station sacrificed its ratings to broadcast it, you're in luck: There's a live blog. Let's hope these youngsters never go on a game show like one famous former high school quiz bowler. [HSNCT Playoffs]...

Female Tennis Star With Prodigious Backside Accuses Opponent Of Cheating
"Drama" was the word Serena Williams used after her French Open match against Maria Jose Martina Sanchez. Williams claims Sanchez used her arm instead of a racket to return a ball over the net, prompting a finger-pointing outburst and introspection....

If It Walks Like A Duck And Whatever This Duck Is Doing To This Poor Man....
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

That's C-O-A-C-H-K
Laodicean? No problem for Kavya Shivashankar, but I almost feel bad for this girl. For the rest of her life, people are going to ask her to spell things like Krzyzewski, and she's going to have to feign interest. It's not S-H-I-S-H-E-T-S-K-Y; just say N-O and move on. [ESPN]...