at Page 2399 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Corey Lynch Offers Divine Intervention To The Bengals
Marvin Lewis has the seemingly insurmountable task of changing the Bengals' from one of the most clink-happy and character-deprived football teams in league history to something ... better. Chris Henry is gone, but the scars still remain. The attitude and atmosphere has to change in 2008, so the Ben...
Support Competitive Eating As An Olympic Sport!
We know, we know: None of you care about competitive eating as much as we do. That still doesn't make this plea to make competitive eating an Olympic sport any less inspired....
Pat Jordan Doesn't Mess Around
Many Deadspin readers were probably introduced to Pat Jordan's work thanks to his Jose Canseco piece that was published here. If you looked a little closer at some of the other stories he'd penned in the past, you may have realized you'd read one of his stories before. Some of Jordan's best work is ...
Media Approval Ratings: Michael Wilbon
Watching the NBA Playoffs the last week or so, it's clear Michael Wilbon has appropriately recovered from his mild heart attack last January. And did you know that his wife gave birth just two months later? Nice work, Wilbon!...
A Kiper-McShay Draft Day Hair Trade
The shocking Mel Kiper-Todd McShay follicle swap [The Sports Hernia]...
The Chiefs Drafted...Well?
We've been cautioned and chastened by many a pundit over the years that it takes years to properly assess the success of any given draft. That may be true, but with the Chiefs unloading Jared Allen to the Vikings for picks, it was important for them to make a splash. Everything seemed to go their wa...
To Watch Tonight...
What to watch while remembering you let your kid play in the tree house too long......
1st Round, Fifteenth Overall: Chiefs Select Branden Albert
Oh God. The Lions made a trade. Carl Peterson dangled a shiny object in front of Matt Millen, and now we all have to adjust. This Brandon Albert blog entry will be written in four styles: dense football scouting jargon, lyrically idiotic Jamie Dukes banter, Thomas the Tank Engine narration, and fin...
1st Round, Tenth Overall: Patriots Select Jerod Mayo
The Patriots finally picked up a linebacker under 35! And of course, they caught a few people off guard (guilty) by grabbing a guy who was low on many draft boards. Mayo started his Tennessee career at outside linebacker, but moved to the middle in 2007, and while he made a lot of plays (140 tackle...
1st Round, Ninth Overall: Bengals Select Keith Rivers
Keep standing pat, ye mighty Bengals! The Jags and Pats leapt over you to take defenders you so badly needed, guys you targeted so heavily that you sent your line coach to molest them at their pro days. Your star wide receiver plans to toilet paper team headquarters. Your other receiver, whose name...
1st Round, Eighth Overall: Ravens Jaguars Select Derrick Harvey
We used to call guys like Harvey "tweeners." Now they're called "hybrids." Scouting gibberish has gone green...
1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice
The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone name...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the Great Jell-o Snack Pack Disaster of 2008 ... • Boxing: Middleweights, Andrey Tsurkan vs. Jesse Feliciano, at New York (9:30 p.m., ET). The return of El Rayo! [ESPN2] • NBA playoffs: Eastern Conference first round, Game 3, Detroit Pistons at Philadelphia 76ers (7 p.m...
Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...
Media Approval Ratings: Pam Oliver
We forget, sometimes, just how unstable the life of a broadcast journalist can really be. Witness the following paragraph from Pam Oliver's Wikipedia page....
Facebook Makes It Easier, And More Difficult, To Cheat In College
We are still somewhat new to the world of Facebook — and we really, really don't want to Facebook chat, and we'd rather not the world know that we bought two tickets to Baby Mama — but if we had access to it when we were in college, we suspect we would have had a different experience. We definitely ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch due to the fact that the Wesley Snipes trial isn't televised ... • MLB: New York Yankees at Chicago White Sox (8 p.m., ET). Get your seats early for the Phil Hughes Experience. [WGN] • NBA: Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Game 3, Cleveland at Washington (8 p.m., ET); Western Conferen...