at Page 2423 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your dog is shampooed by aliens ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Richard "Four Eyes" Gutierrez vs. Jose "Wheezy" Varela, Fort Lauderdale (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College basketball: Davidson at Winthrop (7 p.m., ET). Free Gold Rush t-shirts to the first 1,000 fans tonight at the Coliseum!...

Justice Is Blind, Which Accounts For All The Typos
Finally, Barry Bonds has discovered an airtight defense for his upcoming trial on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Typos! Yep, Bonds' lawyers on Thursday contended that, because the government filed court papers on their client that had at least two typos, that Barry should walk free. Hey...


Media Approval Ratings: Billy Packer
We're getting awfully darned close now to the NCAA tournament business, which means one thing: The return of Billy Packer as the central force in our lives for a month. We know, we know, he broadcasts games throughout the regular season, but it's not until the Tournament that he takes over the voice...

Take Our Mistake, And Make It Yours
Because we attended school (occasionally) at the University of Illinois, most of our old friends are fans of the Chicago Bulls, and it's difficult to overstate how excited they were when they initially signed Ben Wallace. It felt vindicating, the reward for waiting for the first post-Jordan star. T...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as NASCAR fines everyone in sight, including you ... • College basketball: Pittsburgh at Notre Dame (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Massachusetts at Rhode Island (7 p.m., ET), Michigan at Minnesota (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; Oregon at Southern California (11 p.m., ET) [FSN]. Rams, Minutemen, Ryan Cent...

I Know What You're Wondering, And The Answer Is Yes, I Have Taped You Masturbating
Welcome to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be inviting various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, broadcasters, and MORE! - to speak to you Deadspin folks. This week: Former Patriots assistant and eye of the Spygate maelstrom, Matt Walsh....

Media Approval Ratings: Brent Musberger
We remain stunned by the Scott Van Pelt results yesterday; we like Van Pelt too, but 94.3 percent approval? We are absolutely certain we would not get 94.3 percent approval ourselves. Anyway, let's go for the generational shift today; Good ole Brent Musberger....

Nothing Jazzes Up A College Hoops Game Like Some Vomit
DC Sports Bog is, of course, all over it....


To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you mock the humorless ... • College basketball: North Carolina at N.C. State (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Marquette at St. John's (7 p.m., ET), Kansas State at Nebraska (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. Tuneup for Bracket Madness. • NBA: L.A. Lakers at Phoenix (9 p.m., ET). Kobe vs. Shaq. Rated nacho-...

Richie Sexson Understands The Value Of A Dollar
We couldn't let the day pass without mentioning Mariners "slugger" Richie Sexson's charming comments from yesterday. They're not as bad as Stuart Scott's "Don't boo" admonitions, but, well, they're close....

Attention Terrell Owens: Help Is On The Way
So a guy in Brazil, not content with the normal tattoo options in his area, has had octopus suction cups grafted onto his arms. Cool! My guess is that Belichick has already made this required surgery for all of his receivers; and Derek Jeter is looking into it as well. Whereas Ichiro Suzuki just lo...

Media Approval Ratings: Scott Van Pelt
Of all the anchors on "SportsCenter," it would seem unlikely that Scott Van Pelt would be the one with such a long history with this here site. He doesn't have the Berman boom, the Vitale scream, the STEPHEN A. SMITH blare or the Skip Bayless smirk. But with one phone call, he became part of Deadspi...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Jim Bowden Uses Subtle Reminders Of His Authority
We're not sure what much more we can add to this photo of Nationals general manager Jim Bowden riding a Segway around the team's spring training....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as ... Gahhh! Where moon? ... • College basketball: Purdue at Indiana (7 p.m., ET); Georgia at Kentucky (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; N.C.-Greensboro at Davidson (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. The Belk Arena Faithful make Cameron Crazies look like nuns. • Cycling: Tour of California, stage 2, Santa Rosa...

Top 10 Things That Are More Boring Than The Bibby Trade
In case you missed it - and that would have been easy to do - Mike Bibby was traded to the Atlanta Hawks last weekend. I sincerely hope you don't care, but in case you do, the Hawks sent starting point guard Anthony Johnson, 2007 first-round pick Shelden Williams, backup point guard Tyronn Lue, vete...

The Depressing Last Days Of The Seattle Sonics
We don't know many Sonics fans, but if we did, we'd mostly be tiptoeing around them these days. It's one thing to make fun of a Knicks fan; at least the Knicks aren't going anywhere. (Sadly.) But Sonics fans ... what can you say to them these days?...

Other Than That, How Was The Race, Mrs. Lincoln?
New weekend editor Christmas Ape tried out to be one of the guys who run the Presidents Races at Washington Nationals games. Here's how it went....