at Page 2463 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

More Late Game Bukkake
San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bear...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you try and watch "Honk If You're Horny" in peace:...

Tomlinson Rushes Not Exactly Like Nike Zoom Commercial
All possessors of the first pick in their fantasy football leagues would like to have a word with LDT at the moment, as the reigning NFL MVP (though Pacman Jones is the raining NFL MVP) has 12 yards on 11 carries in the first half against the Bears....

Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...

Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...

We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...

With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...

Kill Kill Kill Comes to Deadspin
Of course they had to go and suspend the righteous mallard for next week's home game against Fresno State. Damn, I really would have liked to see the duck in action against Lloyd Carr....

Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...

College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your book is translated into Apache ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame induction ceremony, Springfield, Mass. I'm pretty sure that international coach Mirko Novosel just fondled my buttocks! [ESPN Classic] • College football: Navy at Rutgers. Come back and fight, you cowards! I'm the Sc...

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: "Now let's go to the big board to see how much we've raised, Ed." • 1 p.m. NY Giants with Roger "I Dream In Blue" Director: Is Coughlin to blame for Iraq, too? • 2 p.m. AFC/NFC South, West: More pain in s...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the machines take over ... • College football: Middle Tennessee at Louisville [ESPN2]; Oregon State at Cincinnati. Beavermania reaches Ohio. [ESPN] • NFL: New Orleans at Indianapolis. The battle to determine the best dome team in all of football. [NBC] • Soccer: MLS, D.C. United at ...

It's The AFC North Pants Party
Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like?...

Crimes And Misdemeanors At RFK
If you were going to rob a vendor at a Major League Baseball stadium, we're not necessarily sure we'd pick RFK in DC. Isn't it a lot easier to escape through a crowd? Certainly not a problem there....

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Rudy Ruettiger: Think you'd have any trouble making the current Notre Dame roster? • 2 p.m. MLS w/Rivas' Jonathan Bornstein: Can we blame lack of interest in soccer on global warming? • 3 p.m. Fantasy sports w/Matt Berry: I got V...