at Page 2607 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Ombudsman: You Kids Knock It Off!
Resident nerdy professor ESPN ombudsman George Solomon filed his newest impotent you-darned-kids column on Saturday, and, as usual, we imagine ESPN brass reading it, shaking their heada, chuckling, then tossing another few more Indonesian children on the fire. (It's gonna get cold in Bristol soon;...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m.. MLB with Buster Olney: OK, not to stray too far from the absolutely riveting subject, but yourself and actor Dylan Baker — seperated at birth? • 1 p.m. NCAA FB with Bruce Feldman. Oops, we just spent my last $39.95 on Katrina ...
College Sports Coaches: Evil!
On the list of Things That Will Get You Sent To Hell, we have to say, this one has to be pretty high up there. From the Newark Star-Ledger:...
Saints: America's Guilty Conscience Team
Like most of you who decided that NFL Sunday Ticket isn't quite valuable enough to make up for the utter uselessness of DirectTV, we spent yesterday at a sports bar, looking past the impromptu games of beer pong to watch hundreds of television screens full of football. And we saw what we're sure y...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as elves cobble shoes in the tiny sweatshop you've constructed in the garage ... • MLB: Red Sox at Yankees. Apparently there's some sort of rivalry. • Reno 911: Washington State at Nevada football. Take the over. • MLB: Mets at Cardinals. The best team in baseball versus, well, the Met...
Let's See ... Mortgage, or OSU Tickets? Hmm ...
Now we know that everyone is very excited about the big Ohio State-Texas college football game tomorrow, and we understand, because the fevered hockey fans of Columbus (no, really. Swear) haven't had much rooting interest for a while....
Leftovers: Peddle Your Rumors Elsewhere
• Cycling Union: Lance is no dope. [Tour of Texas Cycling] • Assist leader: Magic Johnson shows the love to Katrina victims by offering jobs that aren't on television talk shows. [LA Daily News] • San Antonio to host four Saints games, but the music won't be nearly as good. [Big Easy Blog] • Salon c...
Blogdome: Those Racist Sooners
• Did Oklahoma demote their quarterback because he was black? Or, with all the helmets and pads and everything, can anyone even tell? [BlackAthlete.net] • Arizona Republic columnist gets all swoony on Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner. Hey, what's wrong with that? We've g...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. MLB with Joe Morgan: When you said "any team that makes the playoffs can go all the way," you obviously didn't mean the A's, right? • Noon. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: After writing License to Deal, how many showers did it take ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • NFL: Patriots give Raiders the ol' Three Stooges eye poke. • MLB: Pitcher Kyle Lohse takes a bat to Twins' locker room, providing yet another reason to dump the designated hitter. • MLB: Coco Crisp home run helps Indians move i...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...
Terrell Owens' Suspicious Charity
Now, far be it from us to accuse any athlete of being anything less than 100 percent magnanimous in all of his charitable endeavors ... but we couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Eagles flapjaw wide receiver Terrell Owens' newest attempt to confuse human beings into mistaking him for a nice fell...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Fantasy Baseball Focus: We are typing this from an 11th-story ledge outside the window of our office building, the only thing keeping us from plunging into the abyss being your assurances that we might somehow obtain Angels sta...
Look Up "Class" in the Dictionary, You'll See a Picture of Larry King
From the Reasons Radio Will Never Die department, it appears that Westwood One Radio is considering hiring Larry King to appear on its Monday Night Football radio broadcasts this year. This is the best news we have heard in months; we still haven't quite recovered SI.com canned his batshit nuts "S...
The Monstrosity of Leaving The Big Easy
Currently, the New Orleans Saints — we have to keep reminding ourselves that New Orleans had a football team, and that they still exist right now — are denying CNN's reports that the Superdome will have to be torn down, but whether CNN is right or not, the team still needs someplace to play right ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when TiVo finally gained consciousness and took total control ... • King of Queens: Agassi rallies in U.S. Open thriller — too bad you slept through it. • MLB: Mets beat Braves! ... Naw, we're just kidding, obviously. • World Cup qualifying: Shocking news involving Northern Ireland a...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge The Remote From The Dog ... • MLB: Rays at Yankees. Raise that threat level to red — Stenbrenner's about to blow. • That time you got comically tangled in the net should not detract from your enjoyment of the U.S. Open. • MLB: Mets at Braves. Because ESPN 2 cou...
Advantage: Navratilova
Legitimate belly laughs from our pals at Onion-esque satirical site SportsPickle this morning: Martina Navratilova Toting Around a Battery-Powered Maria Sharapova Bobblehead Doll. Best part:...