Atlanta Braves Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Bourn Holds Up The Game With A Bathroom Break
When you gotta go, you gotta go. For most of us, that means quietly taking a break before we resume whatever it is we were doing. For Michael Bourn, last night it meant the start of the bottom of the fourth inning in Arizona had to be delayed, since everyone noticed the Braves had taken the field ...

Fat Chipper Jones May Or May Not Be Fat, But He Reportedly "Looks Terrible"
The good news is that Chipper Jones is officially seven pounds lighter than his 2011 playing weight. Now comes the rest of the news. His knee hurts. He's hitless in eight at-bats and has missed five games this spring. A scout told Jon Heyman of CBS Sports he "looks terrible" and that he seems to be ...

Fat Chipper Jones Says He's Not Fat
Everybody's getting in on the fun of calling Chipper Jones a fat ass. Per The Sporting News, manager Fredi Gonzalez stood around the batting cages at the Braves' spring training facility this morning and puffed his cheeks to make himself look like a fat dude. When no one on the team noticed, Gonzale...
![Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17eautbeqg0m8jpg.jpg)
Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]
A few readers have pointed us to the Twitter account of David O'Brien, who covers the Braves for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. O'Brien disputes the notion that Chipper's being a heavy presence at spring training. Yesterday, O'Brien tweeted the above photo to make his case, saying it was taken j...

Chipper Jones Is Fat
Larry Wayne Jones is going to be 40 in April, and he's about to begin his 19th season with the Braves. Jones says 2012 won't be his last in baseball, but it will be the final year of his guaranteed contract, for which he's scheduled to be paid $14 million. Jones made the NL All-Star team last year, ...

The Atlanta Braves Wish You A Merry Christmas By Performing The Worst Rendition Of "Jingle Bells" Imaginable
Kris Medlen (the puffy-cheeked one with the bent brim) is the only one who gives it any effort, and he's followed by Chipper Jones's smug sunburnt visage. Ugh. Merry Christmas....

Atlanta Braves Reliever Burns Nickelback On Twitter And Nickelback Fires Back
Peter Moylan is a reliever for the Atlanta Braves, apparently. I follow the greatest franchise in the history of sports, so you know, he's not really on my radar. Anyway, this Moylan guy must have gotten back from a Foo Fighters concert and decided Nickelback needed a kick in the ass. The tweet rea...

Rob Gronkowski's Porn Star Ladyfriend Says She Humped Dan Uggla And Assorted Married Athletes
Bibi Jones, noted buddy of Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, and star of such acclaimed flicks as The Crib and Babysitters 2, appeared on the Toucher and Rich Show today to tell her tales....

Dan Uggla Celebrated His Home Run Last Night By Dong-Bumping David Ross (Video)
Uggla had just hit a two-run homer off Cole Hamels in the bottom of the third to put the Braves ahead, 3-1. There was a playoff spot riding on this game, of course, so there was reason to be excited. But ... what was that?...

SprtsCntr: The Collapses Were Epic, And So Were the Clichés
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

And Your MLB Wild-Card Teams Are The St. Louis Cardinals And The Tampa Bay Rays
The Cardinals beat the Astros 8-0 behind Chris Carpenter's complete game two-hitter. Sounds simple. But the rest wasn't. They'd have to wait a while to get all all celebratory in the locker room....

SprtsCntr: The Wild-Card Races Tie It All Together
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...

Forget Boston, The Braves Are Going To Blow Their Playoff Spot
Folks fret a lot about the national sports media—we suppose this includes Deadspin—overcovering Boston sports. When it comes to John Lackey's personal calamities, we pay attention with good reason. But maybe the Red Sox's collapse, hanging over all of Lackey's baggage, is too big a deal. There's ano...

Did Kirk Herbstreit Drop An F Bomb In The LSU/WVU Booth Last Night?
Your morning roundup for Sept. 25, the day Catwoman got real. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video H/T Casey)...

If The '90s Braves Were Doctoring The Ball, More Power To Them
Where does the credit go for the dominant Braves pitching staffs of the 1990s? Smoltz, Glavine and Maddux themselves? A front office that got them, kept them, and found nearly-as-dominant fourth starters seemingly every year? A goodly amount of praise has been heaped on Leo Mazzone, the pitching coa...

Science! Proves That Braves Fans Are The Biggest Homers In Baseball
Beyond the Box Score has a fun little post today that explores which teams' players got more All-Star Votes than their performances merited....

Watch This Braves Fan's Leaping, One-Handed Foul Ball Catch
Poignant, indeed, that the catch reminds the announcers of a receiver—because it's getting to be the end of August, when Atlanta forgets that baseball exists....

BREAKING: Dan Uggla Is Not Joe DiMaggio
Cubs win, Cubs win, and the Braves' second baseman's hitting streak ends at 33. Aw....

Deconstructing Last Night's Most Amazing Moment: Scott Proctor's Faceplant
Lots of wacky things are bound to happen in a 19-inning game, but I don't think anyone will be able to forget the lasting image of this morning's Pirates-Braves marathon: Scott Proctor tripping over his own feet while coming out of the batters box. Thankfully MLB.com was all over the replays on th...