att Page 295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sorry, Seattle: Your Hoops Team Is Gone
So you know Sonics fans were holding out hope that the Kevin Durant acquisition might spur the new ownership group — which hails from Oklahoma City — to keep the team in Seattle? We wouldn't hold your breath on that....
Chris Cooley's Gonna Have A Hot Wife
And now, boys and girls, it's time for a love story. It may resemble one you yourself have encountered, except this one involves people prettier than you. It's a story we've all heard: boy meets girl, girl is a cheerleader, boy meets another cheerleader, girls lose jobs because of boy, boy wins back...
Who's The Next Punter To Attempt To Kill Off His Competition?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
The Mariners Like 'Em Big
Ever wanted a six-foot doll of Raul Ibanez? Well, boy howdy, this could be your lucky day. As long as you have four figures to spend....
Is This The End For Our Tubby Hero?
When David Wells missed a start in the 2003 World Series because of mysterious back problems that might have been related to the fact that he weighs 800 pounds, we figured he was done. Missing a World Series start because you were out of shape? People tend to not like that....
The MLS Is Expanding, With Or Without Beckham
David Beckham — or "Becks," as apparently people call him, though we've never actually met one of these people — could make his MLS debut tonight, maybe, for a few minutes, depending on whether or not he's feeling up to it. But no matter what's going on with Beckham, the league itself is moving forw...
Matt Murphy, Call Your Accountant
That fella who caught Barry Bonds' homer the other night, his name's Matt Murphy and, as you might have heard, he's a Mets fan. He'll be selling the ball, of course; estimates are between $400,000 and $500,000. eBay is even trying to help him out....
Make These Women Carry Your Stuff
The woman in this photo is Lucy Dardiner, one of the specialty caddies from England's Eye Candy Caddies. The concept is what you think it is: Attractive people, carrying your clubs and, we dunno, feeding you grapes or something....
Lil Romeo, Undersized, Shoot-First Point Guard
We've already shared with you our joy that Michael Jordan's son is going to be playing for our Illini this season. He's not all that good, but he's not costing a scholarship, and it'll make sure his dad impregnates a few co-eds. It'll be fun....
I Like My Rich Garces With a Sprinkling of Powdered Sugar
Rich "El Gordo Guapo" Garces has been busying himself with minor league ball in Nashua (not Nassau) and now he's setting his sights on the majors. The relief pitcher of indeterminable weight will always be fondly remembered as a hero to all the fat guys in Boston, but could he actually return? Desp...
Jean Strahan Is Gettin Paid
If Michael Strahan wants to lose the gap-toothed look he should probably go to the dentist now while he's still insured. Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports(!) has shed some light on the financial terms of the Strahan's highly publicized divorce....
NFL Season Preview: Seattle Seahawks
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Jake Gyllenhaal Wants To Kiss You
Look at that face. That's the face of a life well lived; that's the face of a guy who needs his life story told. That's the face of a guy who has bedded plenty like you, Kolber, you ain't nothin'....
Matt Leinart Schmoozes Like A Champion
When you're a fan of an NFL team, all you can hope is that your team's leader is setting his sights on the ultimate prize: The Super Bowl. If he's not trying to win the whole thing, what's the point? A championship is all that matters. And clearly, Buzzsaw quarterback / Patch Adams buddy Matt Leinar...
A Sensuous Saturday Of Natural Love
• 1:30 — Movie: Anacondas II [TNT] • 2:00 — Boxing: Best of Butterbean II [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 — NFL: JB Awards [CBS] • 2:00 — Movie: The Blue Lagoon [Telemundo] • 3:00 — Bull Riding: PRCA Xtreme Bulls Tour [ESPN] • 3:00 — Golf: Canadian Open [CBS] • 4:00 — Tennis: Indianapolis Championships [NBC] ...
Restless And Bored In Seattle, But Well Fed
We're excited to be heading to Safeco Field this September, and not just because of the Mariners, U-Dub and Seahawks games; apparently, the Safeco Field stands are going the way of the house call....
Leinart's Life Turning Into Slightly More Boring Episode Of "Maury"
Matt Leinart would like you to know: His baby momma be buggin'. Ahem. That is to say: He respectfully disagrees with Brynn Cameron's assessment that he's never around as a father. Actually, not all that respectfully....
Wait, So Whose Diapers Is He Changing Then?
We might remember, back in August 2006, that we were somewhat skeptical that the family of Brynn Cameron — the former USC women's basketball player who had Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart's baby — were completely pleased with the whole arrangement. Within a month of this pregnancy announcement, Lei...