Australia Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
World Cup Open Thread: Australia-Serbia
The Socceroos have their work cut out for them if they want to advance to the knockout stages. If they even want to start going through all the tie-breaker scenarios, they need to win this game. Comment and follow the action below....
World Cup Open Thread: Ghana-Australia
Can the Socceroos bounce back from the trouncing they received in their first game? Can Ghana play its way into the knockout stages? All this and talk of Australia's greatest natural resource (pictured) in the comments....
Pobody's Nerfect In Australasia
America doesn't have a monopoly on jingoistic, inaccurate headlines. The Sydney Morning Herald celebrates New Zealand's unlikely draw by labeling them "Australasia." [SMH]...
World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Australia
The Ballack-less Mannschaft take on the adorably named Socceroos. Precision and efficiency or laid-back and hilarious accents, take your pick....
Australian Footballer Tells Gay Athletes To Stay In The Closet
An Australian Rules football star just penned a heartwarming op-ed telling his fellow players that it's really awesome if you're gay and everything—but it would be even more awesome if you kept that to yourself. Like, forever....
Horse Race Announcer Yells Himself ... Hoarse
Jim Jacques had a little bit of trouble calling this harness race in South Australia over the weekend. The yelling may not have been up to par, but his impression of a asthmatic tracheotomy patient is spot-on. [TabloidProdigy]...
Man Gets Hit By Car, Doesn't Drop Baby In His Arms
This incredible video shows Australian Andrew Leitch getting his legs crushed by a runaway car, but somehow holding on to his four-month son, who was completely unharmed. A few NFL teams could use a pair of hands like that. [CBS6/DailyIQ]...
Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....
Australian Figure Skating Announcers Criticized for Homophobic Broadcasting Style
Sample on-air exchange between Channel 9's Mick Molloy (pictured) and Eddie McGuire: 'They don't leave anything in the locker room these blokes, do they?' 'They don't leave anything in the closet either, do they?' More like a triple LULZ!...
Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....
Even Australian Ladies Love To Taunt The Crocodiles
Yesterday, we were introduced to this weird Aussie croc-trap game and it appears it's become the newest fad all the cool kids are doing, like Tokyo drifting and that huffing. [The Daily Telegraph]...
I See You've Played Crocy-Spoony Before
The latest fad Down Under: swimming into baited crocodile traps. It's still safer than Aussie rules football. [Northern Territory News]...
Wrestling Still Real On One Misguided Continent
It's laughable that some American newspapers put pro wrestling in the sports section, but it could be worse. It could be in the news section, as it is for one Aussie paper that doesn't seem to understand it's fake....
Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....
Australian Racing Fans Forced To Be Slightly Less Drunk Than Normal
Australia's legendary Bathurst 1000 motorcar race has been besieged by drunkenness in recent years, so this year police are cracking down. Only one case of beer, per person, per day. Show some restraint, people! [Telegraph/Sports Rubbish]...
Crumpet? I Hardly Know It!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Australia Gets Their Beatdown
Team USA buried a big Paul Hogan-style knife into the Australian national team last night, winning by 40 in a game that wasn't as close as the score would indicate. Carmelo had 20, Joe Johnson 18, Dwyane Wade 15, and Shane Battier and Chris Bosh had 12 each....
All Hail The Glorious People's Italian Football Collective!
Reverberations from Italy's 1-0 World Cup win over Australia on Monday continue. The Italians won on a disputed penalty kick in the final seconds of stoppage time, and it's caused a whole fuss. Australian assistant coach Graham Arnold told the Australia Daily Telegraph that "FIFA didn't want us here...
Hirshey: B'Day, Mate
David Hirshey will write regularly during the World Cup....
Live Blog: Italy Vs. Australia
As we continue along the Round of 16 — these games really are quite more exciting when they loser goes home — we start off your weekday live blogging with a team representing a country that was founded by the exiled convicts of another country ... and, much worse, a team that tied the United State...