aw Page 305 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kansas State Band Formation Is NSFW [UPDATE]

This is, supposedly, the Kansas State band as the U.S.S. Enterprise “encountering a horrible space creature.” It looks a lot more like the Kansas Jayhawk performing fellatio....

Lawrence Phillips Charged With Murdering His Prison Cellmate

Former NFL running back Lawrence Phillips, who is currently serving a 31-year prison sentence for various crimes, has been officially accused of murdering his cellmate, Damion Soward....

Serena Williams begins her quest for a calendar year Grand Slam with a 6-0, 2-0 first round U.S. Open victory over Vitalia Diatchenko, who retired. ...

Bieber Is Crying

Why is the Bieber crying? ...

Frank Clark Keeps Punching People And This Time It's Philip Rivers

San Diego Chargers players are mad at Seattle Seahawks rookie Frank Clark today, after he punched Philip Rivers in a scrum during last night’s preseason game in San Diego. As you can see, Rivers holds onto Clark after the play, which looks like it angered him. King Dunlap emphatically pulled Clark o...

How Darryl Dawkins Changed The NBA

The following is adapted from the new Random House book Year of the Dunk: A Modest Defiance of Gravity....

Russell Wilson Wants To Clarify What His Scam Water Can Do For Concussions

Russell “Nanobubbles” Wilson said his magical miracle fraud water helped him get over a blow to the head in the NFC Title game, what he really meant was that the stuff is so puissant, it actually stopped him from getting a concussion in the first place. Oh, that’s much more believable....

Here Are The Details From The Derrick Rose Rape Lawsuit [UPDATED]

The lawsuit filed against Derrick Rose, accusing him of drugging and gang raping an ex-girlfriend, provides more details about what the woman says happened that night in Los Angeles. The complaint actually names 13 defendants—Rose and his friends Randall Hampton and Ryan Allen, and 10 unnamed “John ...

Report: Darryl Dawkins Dies At 58 [Update]

Darryl Dawkins, the former NBA player and greatest enemy of backboards, has reportedly died today at the age of 58. Eastern Pennsylvania news station WFMZ reported Dawkins’s death, though details are scarce. For now, let’s watch Chocolate Thunder destroying rims, and sharing his beliefs that Stevie ...

Here's The Champions League Group Stage Draw

Now that the qualifying rounds are over, the Champions League can begin in earnest. The groups all look pretty even, with Manchester City’s Group D probably being the toughest and Chelsea’s Group G the easiest. Also, half the Round of 16 could easily be made up of English and Spanish clubs....

Russell Wilson Is A Synthetic Lifeform

Today at Rolling Stone you’ll find Stephen Rodrick’s profile of Russell Wilson, a lifelike colony of Surface™ Pro 3 banner ads employed by the Seattle Seahawks. In it, Rodrick recites a series of scenes from off-season product testing leading up to this September’s release date. The illusion seems t...

Drunk Hammer-Thrower Barters Gold Medal For Taxi

The IAAF World Championships are happening now in Beijing, and here are its major stories: Bolt won, Gatlin lost, and a drunk Pole bartered his hammer-throw gold medal for a taxi ride. Truly, we are living in a golden age of track and field....

Drake And Serena Williams Enjoy Themselves And Each Other At Fancy Cincinnati Restaurant

The Yelp page of Cincinnati Italian trattoria Sotto boasts that it’s a restaurant for “casual intimacy and communal romance,” so it makes sense that Drake and Serena Williams were spotted at a table essentially fucking with their clothes on....

Michael Jordan Gets $8.9 Million In Steak Lawsuit

Michael Jordan, the man from the crying meme, was awarded $8.9 million by a federal court in Chicago yesterday after he won his lawsuit against Dominick’s, a now-defunct grocery store that used his image in an advertisement for steak in 2009. The ad ran in a commemorative issue of Sports Illustrated...

Darryl Sydor Arrested On Suspicion Of DUI

Longtime NHL defenseman and current Minnesota Wild assistant coach Darryl Sydor was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving yesterday, as he was driving his 12-year-old son to a hockey game....

What Do I Do With My Dead Father-In-Law's School Bus Full Of Guns?

Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today’s query:...

Richard Sherman Sticks Up For Tom Brady

If there’s anyone you’d expect to be sucking on the sourest grapes while discussing Tom Brady’s Ballghazi suspension and the ensuing kerfuffle, it would probably be the Super Bowl losers. But Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman is not that dude, and he is rightfully in Brady’s corner....

Seahawks OC Says He'd Call The Super Bowl's Final Play All Over Again

Because the NFL no longer goes away in the offseason, the Super Bowl feels like forever ago. But, nearly seven months on, the last meaningful play still sticks firmly in the craw of the Seahawks, who by all rights ought to be two-time reigning champs. Offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, who called...

Rob Ryan Is Suing Some People Because His House Is Sinking

The Wolfman Rob Ryan is a lot of things—a brewski stacker, a dancer, a saunterer, a bon vivant—but he is not a man who can abide shoddy craftsmanship. This is why he has filed a lawsuit against the people who built his house, because Ryan’s palace is, apparently, sinking into the ground....

C.C. Sabathia Restrained From Brawl Outside Nightclub

The Yankees were in Toronto last weekend for a three-game set against the Blue Jays, which presented players with ample opportunity to enjoy the Toronto nightlife. Unfortunately for pitcher C.C. Sabathia, one night out almost ended in him getting caught up in a street brawl....