aw Page 414 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Derrick Rose, NBA MVP, Thanks His Mother And Warms Our Frigid Hearts
Chicago's Derrick Rose was named the NBA's 2010-11 Most Valuable Player today. He is the youngest MVP in league history. Rose delivered remarks to members of the Chicago media this afternoon; he sounded perhaps nervous and certainly young, because he is. But he was careful to take the time to than...
Serena Williams Has A Stalker
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office confirmed to WPTV that they had arrested Patenema Ouedraogo, 40, for stalking Serena Williams in Florida early this morning. He has reportedly "tried to make contact with Williams several times in the past" and is being held on a $25,000 bond. [WPTV]...
Jameer Nelson Did Not Use His Free Nosebleed Seats For The Hawks-Bulls Game Last Night
Back in April, the Chicago Bulls held off the Magic 102-99 after a Jameer Nelson three-pointer came too late. Nelson congratulated Bulls guard Derrick Rose with a promise to "catch you in the second round" of the playoffs (video of the exchange is above; the mixing is not our doing) during Rose's ...
A Case Study In Incompetence: Dan Snyder's PR Guy, Tony Wyllie
Maybe you heard about the stunning display of asshattedness last week by Redskins proto-flack Tony Wyllie. The occasion: A University of Maryland College of Journalism “ethics in sports media” panel, to which Wyllie arrived late. Dan Snyder’s dumbass libel suit came up, at which point Wyllie offere...
Young Man Wants You To Realize The Grizzlies Beating The San Antonio Spurs Is A Really Big Deal
Your morning roundup for April 30, the day we deal with Ouzo hangovers from George Kalpaxis and Julie Herrmannsdoerfer's lovely wedding....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass front office wastes a second-round pick on Dan Snyder's dumbass libel lawsuit, and then cuts it because it's even worse than Devin Thomas....
Josh Smith Responds To "Crazy Bandwagon Columnist" Who Guaranteed Hawks Would Blow Series Lead
Three days ago, when the Atlanta Hawks were leading the Orlando Magic three games to two in their series, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote a column that predicted the Hawks would squander the lead and that included the phrase "Call me a crazy bandwagon columnist." So we'll go ahead and c...
Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....
Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....
Dana White Demands A Porn Star On A Leash
Never one for choosing his words to women carefully, Dana White has now taken to Twitter to attack mild-mannered porn queen Jenna Jameson, the sometime significant other of Tito Ortiz:...
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....
"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...
Patrick Kane Needs A Drink
Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until a judge goes all Agent Orange on Dan "Daniel" Snyder's libel suit....
Here's What Confused NFL Players Are Doing This Morning
Showing up to work out, some of them. Except not really working out. And the ones that arrived are either union guys checking the lay of the land, or players openly concerned about their workout bonuses. Mostly, players walked in, hung around for a couple of minutes then went home. Everyone's pretty...
Dan Snyder Explains Why He's Being A Prick
Dan Snyder explains himself and his newly refiled lawsuit this morning over at Fred Hiatt's bullshit emporium. The piece contains all the spoon-banging you've come to expect from Snyder — "I am not thin-skinned" is probably the most ridiculous assertion on that op-ed page since whatever George Will ...
Iowa Gives Coaching Award To Man Whose Workout Sent 13 Players To The Hospital
Back in January, 13 Iowa football players were hospitalized for treatment of "exertional rhabdomyolysis," or an "acute breakdown of muscle fibers resulting in the release of muscle fiber contents (myoglobin) into the bloodstream." Basically, the Hawkeyes were pushed too hard in their workout routine...
Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...
MLB Won't Let Us Show You Travis Snider Breaking His Bat Over His Knee, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Travis Snider struck out with the bases loaded in the sixth against the Yankees yesterday and Bo Jacksoned his bat in two. It was pretty cool, especially considering that Snider went on to win the game with a two-out double in the 10th. As you know, we can't show you the video, lest we step on MLB's...