aw Page 413 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...
This Week's Florida Youth-Football Fight Involved A Cheerleader, Her Mom, Her Coach And Two Other Teens
"Yolanda Jones was the only adult arrested after the fight at JC Turner Field in South St. Petersburg. Jones told police she was trying to protect her cheerleader daughter who had come under attack. The coach, who is also Jones' daughter, said she joined the fight too. 'We started fighting, becaus...
Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...
Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Nine Top 25 teams play tonight, including a pair of Top 20 matchups....
Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Skip Holtz will try to beat the team Daddy Lou used to coach! How awesome is that?! So awesome that it's a network game! Oh, pretty much every Notre Dame game is on NBC, you say? Of course it is. Because that's how it was foretold....
Wonder If This TCU Fan Still Wanted Some Loving After His Team Blew A Gigantic Comeback
Your morning roundup for Sept. 3, the day that Dragon Con's Comic Book Babes Costume Contest becomes an Elvira-hosted reality in Atlanta. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...
Here's Video Of A Ref Getting Gang-Jumped During A Florida Youth Football Game
What you're about to see is what happened when things got out of hand when the Sarasota Gators faced the North Port Huskies at Riverview High School. It wasn't so much the Huskies, though. It was pretty much all Gators....
Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...
A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...
Serena Williams Cannot Really Recall That Line Judge Incident From "Like, Two Years Ago"
Remember that time at the 2009 U.S. Open, when Serena Williams told a line judge she was going to shove a tennis ball down her throat? Of course you do. Everyone remembers. Except for Serena....
More Leaked Shaq Emails: "We Dnt Want Them Do What They R Doing To Tiger"
If we all thought we might be in danger of having our emails leaked to the general public, we might write our emails differently. We might, for example, not exchange hypothetical emails with our hypothetical agents asking him to cover up hypothetical stories relating our infidelity. We might, hypoth...
Not So Fast: Ron Artest Not Permitted To Change His Name Just Yet
"A court official said, 'Ron has to clear outstanding traffic warrants' before a name change can take effect. ... His next court date is set for Sept. 16." [Los Angeles Times, via SLAM Online]...
Are Rugby Brawls More Spectacular Than American Throwdowns?
What we have here is a pair of efficient slobberknockers between NRL sides Melbourne and (appropriately-named) Manly. Injuries, ejections and suspensions galore, and we're instinctively tempted to say this contains more excitement and outright violence that anything we're used to seeing in America...
Ron Artest's Name Change Becomes Official Today
From now on, he really is going to be known as Metta World Peace. And he's changing his number. No, not that one. [Yahoo]...
More Leaked Shaq Emails: "Where Can I Cum At When I C U"?
Dominica Westling is famous for being, in her own website's words, "a gorgeous Swedish model turned Hollywood actress." For the past few years, she's also been referred to—by news reports and cash-hungry publicists alike—as Shaquille O'Neal's mistress....
Gilbert Arenas's Ex Can Appear On "Basketball Wives" In Part Because Obama And Dick Cheney Are Related
Gilbert Arenas did not want his former fiancé Laura Govan to appear on VH1's "Basketball Wives" or mention his name on it. So, he sued....
Readers: Let's Come Up With A Less Awful Trophy For The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State
Now that the Iowa Corn Growers Association and the Iowa Corn Promotion Board have abandoned their ill-fated agrarian-robot-family-allegory design for the Cy-Hawk Trophy, how will the victors in the annual football showdown between Iowa and Iowa State know they've won? Please help bail out the corn i...
The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State Will Not Get This Awful Trophy
No one's ever said corn doesn't have ears. After universal derision of the new Cy-Hawk Trophy, it has been decided that the silver-gilt monstrosity shall never again see the light of day. At a press conference this afternoon, the Iowa Corn Growers Association expressed their regrets, and announced t...