aw Page 416 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....
Look, Someone Asked Tim Hardaway About Joakim Noah's Potty Mouth
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hardaway minces words....
Shawn Marion Is Inexplicably Making A Reality Show Pilot
"The Matrix" must have let his nickname go to his head. Because he's filming a reality show that no soul could possibly want to see....
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...
Kobe Wants More Of A Say In Who Will Be The Lakers' Sideline Prop
The Lakers are reportedly set to hire former Cavs coach Mike Brown to succeed Phil Jackson. Actual coach/GM Kobe Bryant is said to be "surprised" by the news because he expected to see L.A. assistant Brian Shaw promoted to the position and was "not a part of the decision-making process." [SI]...
All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....
Who Wants To Publicly Shame Some Gnome-Happy Brewers Fans?
The Brewers and the Milwaukee Parks Department teamed up to hide 1000 of these little Bernie Brewer gnomes along the Lakefront, with the public free to take one if they found it. Well, some folks got there at 3 a.m. and started taking as many as their cars could hold. And of course, they're selling ...
MLB Will Probably Ask Us To Remove That George W. Bush Foul Ball Video, So Here's A Shitty Drawing I Made
You can watch it here, for now, but I think my drawing better conveys the emotional truth of the moment. Hope you like it....
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part III: The Fetid Breath Of The Bligle
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CV.")...
David Kahn Sort Of Accuses Stern Of Fixing Lottery So Gilbert's Sick Kid Would Win
So we told you about Dan Gilbert's son, who won the draft lottery tonight, but was born with neurofibromatosis, a disease that means tumors can grow throughout his body without warning....
Derek Boogaard, The Quintessential Goon
This is Derek Boogaard, younger, still the same player....
Everyone In Basketball Is Gay All Of A Sudden
The Outsports folks better ready their banner font: On the heels of Phoenix Suns president and CEO Rick Welts coming out in Sunday's New York Times, former Villanova basketball player Will Sheridan has come out to ESPN.com's Dana O'Neil. (The same ESPN.com, it's worth noting, that employs "bible-bel...
Older Charles Oakley Responds To Violence With Lawsuits Instead Of Fists
Former Knicks/Bulls/Wizards/Raptors/Rockets enforcer and current Charlotte Bobcats assistant coach Charles Oakley is suing the Aria hotel-casino at MGM's CityCenter complex in Vegas because security delivered onto him a "gang-style beat down" when he tried to get into the VIP-pool area. This alleg...
A Panicky Column About The Scandalous Thing Serena Williams Just Did
Serena Williams did a scandalous thing recently. That she did something scandalous is no surprise; that she did something this scandalous is truly shocking....
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Chicago Bulls visit the Atlanta Hawks this evening. If the former wins, it's Chicago vs. Miami for the right to represent the NBA Eastern Conference in the NBA Championship. If the latter prevails, it's Chicago vs. Atlanta for the right to face Miami for the right to represent the NBA Eastern C...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...
Shawn Kemp Refuses Courtside Seats To Oklahoma City Game; Remains Seattle's Hero
Shawn Kemp has been retired from professional basketball for about eight years now, but after eight seasons with the SuperSonics, he still lives in the Seattle area and makes time for a weekly appearance on local sports radio with the "Ian Furness Show" on KJR. In yesterday's show, Kemp shared tha...
Bulls Fan Learns The Shame Of The Giant Foam Hat
The giant foam hat is all fun and games until it is shown on the Jumbo Tron which is then shown on national television which is then uploaded to YouTube with ridiculing commentary and which then makes it to here, where we will shame your giant foam hat shame. What a world....
Patrick Kane's Offseason Begins With A Black Eye, Taking A Girl Home From A Club
Oh Kaner. We take a lot of shit for giving you shit, but you keep giving us shit to give you shit for....
"This Is Her Cage As Well As Mine": MMA Fighter Proposes After Win
MMA fighter and leukemia survivor Bryan Baker proposed to his girlfriend last night after his KO against Joe Riggs, and she said yes. Aw, right? We're more impressed, though, with Baker's honesty. "I wanna give her the world," he told a full house in Newkirk, Okla., and then crafted a beautiful me...