aw Page 426 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Not The Jews
The Panthers had heavily hyped their Hanukkah celebrations last night, including promising a Panther yarmulke to all in attendance. Only a few thousand walked away with one. Who would have thought there would be so many Jews in South Florida?...

Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....

The New Orleans Hornets' Sad Financial Documents
We've obtained audited financial data for David Stern's new prize, the New Orleans Hornets. The statements cover 2008 and 2009, and among other things they paint a picture of a team already in hock to the NBA....

Raiders, Chargers Fans Brawl In Parking Lot; We Are All Winners
Punch 'em all and let god sort them out. Raiders fans fall to 1-1 on the season after last month's knockout of a Dolphins fan....

Coach Who Hoped For Butt-Whupping Declares Loss His Career's Biggest Butt-Whupping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Blue Jays Fans, Take A Good Look At Your Classy New Infielder
Today, the Blue Jays traded away starting pitcher Shawn Marcum for the Brewers' top minor league prospect, second baseman Brett Lawrie. Brett is 20 years old and is now a major league baseball player. Brett should figure out Facebook's privacy settings....

Cam Newton's "Juice" Is "A Little Sweet" For Sideline Reporter's Taste
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
With only 16 Division 1-A games on the slate, only two open threads are needed today. This one's for contests like BCS-deciding Oregon at Oregon State, SEC title game between Auburn vs. South Carolina and Rutgers at West Virginia....

Last Night's Winner: Arizona State Does Its Part To Embarrass The Bowl System
Thursday was your day, Sun Devils. First, your researchers define biological life as we know it. Then, more importantly, your bizarre win over Arizona (2 blocked PATs!) allows you to officially petition the NCAA to admit the bowl system is a farce....

Need More Proof The BCS Is Fucked Up? Nevada Cost Themselves $1 Million By Beating Boise St.
By thwarting the Broncos' BCS bowl hopes, the Wolf Pack cost themselves and every WAC team a million dollars each in BCS revenue. We're not ones to encourage immoral and illegal actions, but, yeah, they probably should have just tanked. [Business Insider]...

In Which We Veer Toward Animal Cruelty In Our Inaugural Lobster Roof Race
We received a LobsterGram, it's less delicious than a candygram, but it's more fun because it comes with live lobsters. We didn't know what to do with them (before cooking them) so we raced them on the Gawker HQ roof deck. Watch....

Happy Belated Birthday Vin Scully, Here's A Great Moment In Live-TV Parachuting History
During that famous Game 6 of the '86 World Series, a Mets fan parachuted onto the field with a "Go Mets" sign and a whole lotta balls. That Vin Scully—who celebrated his 83rd birthday yesterday—made a perfect call is gravy....

Why Is Danny Ainge Dicking Around On His Phone When He Should Be Working?
Last Wednesday, UConn and Kentucky faced off in the Maui Invitational Final. Kemba Walker had blown the tournament up in the previous games and saw his NBA Draft stock rising, so why was Celtics GM Danny Ainge so bored with the proceedings?...

The Hater’s Guide To Taylor Swift
Apropos of nothing, can I unsubscribe to Taylor Swift? Is that possible? I'd really like it to be possible....

Peter King Only Drives The Favremobile On Weekends
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Who Is Pink Blackberry Cover Girl?
Upon seeing the photo from this morning's Wake Up Deadspin post about Chicago Blackhawk John Scott beating Kings enforcer Kevin Westgarth into bloody submission, astute reader Anarchy Salad posed a very interesting scenario....

Hockey Player's Face Gets Bloodied While Lady With A Pink BlackBerry Cover Sort Of Watches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Awkward Team Photos Of Our Awkward Youth (And One Dog): A Gallery
We asked for photos of America's uncomfortably posed youth athletes, and you delivered. Please enjoy....

Mike Leach Sues ESPN
The former Texas Tech coach has filed suit against ESPN and the PR firm repping Craig James alleging both libel and slander. Leach was fired after allegations he mistreated James's son Adam. Someone unfreeze the ombudsman! [AP]...