aw Page 427 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet
International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something....

Lineman On Moped Meets Pickup Truck, Truck Wins
Click to view Iowa center Josh Koeppel was tooling around campus Monday morning, when he had a little run-in with a Ford F-150. Now there's video, and it's clear Koeppel forgot to flick his truck stick....

Remembering Those Halcyon Days Of The U.S. Open When Tennis Players Could Freely Call An Umpire An "Abortion," Twice
"You are an abortion," Jimmy Connors says to a U.S. Open umpire in the video above, along about the 3:30 mark. "You are an abortion, do you know that?" The umpire nods gravely, almost as if to say, hmm, yes, it's possible....

Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....

Pete Carroll: Master Pranksmith
Carroll hid a fake snake in the Gatorade cooler, and filmed the results. Credit where credit is due: getting large men to scream and hop around like girls will never not be funny....

A Sex Addict Relapses: An Ex-Girlfriend, A Panty Flash, And Mark Cuban
Well, let's get it out the way — it didn't take me very long to relapse after leaving sex rehab....

Bengals Cheerleader Does Not Have Venereal Diseases, Court Says
Holy gonorrhea! Bengals cheerleader Sarah Jones won $11 million from a libel suit against The Dirty.com, which ran an item alleging she was all jacked-up with STD's courtesy of her bed-hopping ex-boyfriend. Not so.[Cincinnati.com]...

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....

Tony Romo Is Banging A Former Cowboys Intern Who Can't Subtract
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tony Romo's new main squeeze, Candice Crawford....

MLB Confidential, Part 2: Seattle Mariners
You've seen the first round of financial statements. Now take a look inside the Mariners' books....

MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1
We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era....

Young Texas Footbrawl Fan: "Woo! We Got One of 'Em Hurt!"
Oh, the psychology of the Lone Star State high-school-football-scrimmage observer. This lil ditty here's from a Spring/Clear Spring preseason affair that done turned scrappy, so sayeth the people on 5atexasfootball.com....

Down Goes Strasburg (Sort of). Nationals' Autopsy Scheduled (Today).
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Nenad Krstic Was Arrested For Throwing That Chair
Following yesterday's basketbrawl at the Acropolis Tournament, Athens police arrested Nenad Krstic for his role in the fight since his chair hit Yannis Bouroussis, leaving Bouroussis with a "bloody wound on the side of his head." Plate-breakingly bizarre updates inside....

Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....

Greeks And Serbs Fight It Out On The Basketball Court, With Their Fists
The Acropolis Tournament in Athens ended today when the Greek and Serbian teams got into a bench-clearing brawl. Come for the punching, stay for the Nenad Krstic chair-throwing. [AP]...

Community College Baseball Player Has The Heart Of A Champion
Alec Cortez, of San Bernardino Valley College, sent this video to more than 100 schools, just looking for a chance to show of his skills. And what skills they are....

Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...

Patrick Kane Loves Him Some <em>Twilight</em>
Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first....