aw Page 443 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Baseball's New Lady Knuckleballer is Just Another 18-Year Old Girl Partying in Mexico
Two sentences from this article on US minor-league baseball's newest acquisition, Eri Yoshida: "She taught herself how to throw a knuckleball from watching a video of Tim Wakefield" and "The Outlaws open their season at Tijuana on May 21." [MLB.com]...
A Softball Diamond Is Probably Not What She Had In Mind
A Cincinnati-area softball coach proposed to the coach of his rival team before their game Wednesday. Somehow, I don't think their players will be following suit (not in Ohio, anyway). [Enquirer]...
Villanova Pregnancy Hoax Email Results In Confusion, Death Threats
Yesterday, in an attempt to debunk the Fisher-Reynolds pregnancy melodrama rumor that spread via email for the past couple weeks, it appears I became the Big East's Furman Bisher instead. To clarify: It's a hoax. Like this. And this....
The Masters Invaded By Airborne Pranksters Asking Tiger Woods About "Bootyism"
Augusta National's authoritarian fussbudgets do not yet hold dominion over the skies, as proved by whoever hired this plane to circle above The Masters today. Also, it's $1 wing night at Déjà Vu. [Video via ESPN, surprisingly.]...
Did Tiki Barber Sleep In His Girlfriend's Dorm Room? (And Other Important Questions)
The New York Post did some more homework on Tiki Barber and his 23-year-old lady friend by interviewing everyone who has ever known, lived with or served the duo pasta. The question now is who you choose to believe?...
The Deadspin Field Guide To Tiki's And Tiger's Barely Legal Liaisons
Two superstars, both caught with (much) younger women. This looks bad, but it's possible for Tiki Barber and Tiger Woods to minimize the damage. We offer some helpful dos and don'ts for everyone on how to conduct their Nabokovian affairs....
Nike Unveils Weird New Tiger Ad, Starring Zombie Earl Woods
Nothing moves athletic apparel like bringing a dead man back to life to talk solemnly about his son's wandering schlong. [YouTube]...
Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....
Tiger's New Lady, Raychel Coudriet, In Photos. Maybe.
According to this website, these may be photos of Tiger's latest young lassie to come forward. Also, The Post has fun texts from Tiger to her: "Are you touching yourself? I want to fuck you."...
Tiki Barber Pulls A Tom Brady On His Pregnant Wife
Famous people don't just get divorced. They have scandals. Like Tiki Barber who is leaving his wife—who is eight months pregnant (with twins)—for a blonde intern half her age. Now that's a breakup....
When You Lose The Ball In The Sun, Who Can You Sue?
You can't sue the sun itself, and Amun-Ra has no standing in court. So a 53-year-old slow-pitch softball player who got busted in the face is suing the owner of the diamond....
The Steve Phillips Redemption Timeline
AOL Fanhouse hired Steve Philips as their new baseball analyst, just 161 days after the world learned he had an affair with an ESPN underling. Is that some kind of record for morphing from sexual disgrace to professional respectability?...
More On The Santonio Holmes' Lawsuit: Lies, Damned Lies and Face Rubs
According to several conflicting reports about the incident that led to a lawsuit against Santonio Holmes, the Steeler won't face criminal charges, but only because he intimidated the victim by letting her rub his face?...
"Who Isn't Fighting?" Here's A Better, More Brutal Look At That Lacrosse Brawl
Yesterday, we learned of a ridiculous fight at a lacrosse game. Today, the NLL released a video that shows just how ridiculous that fight was. Some day, they will show this video to schoolchildren to teach them about Darwin. [NLLInsider.com]...
Lacrosse Players Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other; Crowd Rejoices
The Boston Blazers and the Philadelphia Wings had a little lacrosse brawl Saturday, doing to each other what everyone has wanted to do to a lacrosse player at some point. Kudos to the quick-thinking music coordinator (Mötley Crüe!). [The700Level.com]...
The Five Most Enjoyable Phony Voices To Speak In While Alone
Yes, sometimes I try out foreign accents and voices when alone in the car or the shower. It's how I prepare myself in case I'm plucked from obscurity to play a Bond villain....
Santonio Holmes Shows Steeler Solidarity, Gets Sued By Woman He Met In Nightclub
A woman in Florida has filed a civil suit against Holmes after an alleged nightclub incident, in which she claims he hit her in the eye with his....oh, thank goodness it was just a glass. [Courthouse News/ESPN]...
"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....
Down And Out In Daytona, Part 3: A False-Titted Spring
This is the final installment of Pat Jordan's Spring Break adventure, in which our correspondent attends a wet t-shirt contest and finds America in a state of permanent adolescence and mild arousal. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here....
Video: Yes, If You Were Wondering, A Samurai <em>Can</em> Slice A Baseball In Half
Watch as a samurai unsheaths his katana and splits a baseball in twain as it approaches the plate. I think there's something in the rulebooks to prevent this. [TechEBlog]...