back Page 109 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....

MSG's Odd Defense Strategy
Time for an Isiah Thomas trial update: You know you've missed them....

MLB.com Has Hip, Timely Music Connections
A few bewildered thoughts after watching Elton John hanging out with the Atlanta Braves on MLB.com....

D-Backs Keep Doing The Bartman
We love the Kiss Cam. We absolutely can't resist it. We have three favorite Kiss Cam moments....

Welcoming Back The Smorgasbord
Longtime sports blog aficionados will remember the weekly Sunday Afternoon Smorgasbord, a real-time account of a full Sunday of NFL action by the great Mighty MJD. We are humbled and honored to welcome it back to the Internets, on our little site here, starting today. Take it away, MJD....

It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....

About Last Night
What you missed while your editor picked up the Daily News and stood, silently ... • College football: NCAA decides to adopt Arena League rules on Thursdays. Louisville 58, Middle Tennessee 42. • MLB: In which I refuse to make the "Ethier said than done" or "It doesn't get any Ethier" play on words ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after giving up trying to collect dues from your wasp fan club... • Basketball: FIBA Tournament of the Americas, second round, at Las Vegas, Brazil vs. Uruguay [FSN]; USA vs. Argentina [ESPN2] I'll stay up 'till 2 a.m. for his, no probZzzzz. • College football: Tulsa at Louisiana-Monro...


Looks Like We Have Us Another Race, Folks
Well lookee here, the Padres have decided to make this interesting after all. Geoff Blum's two-run homer in the seventh and Jake Peavy's 11-strikeouts led San Diego to a 3-1 win over Arizona, cutting the Diamondbacks' lead in the West to two games. And since the teams play each other six more times ...

Brandon Webb, Still Shutting People Down
Tonight, against the first-place (for now!) Milwaukee Brewers, Arizona pitcher Brandon Webb is attempting to extend his 42 consecutive inning scoreless sheet. He's 17 innings away from tying Orel Hershiser's record of 59 — Orel Hershiser married a girl from Mattoon, by the way — and that's just two ...

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Surely you've been waiting with bated breath to find out what Marco Materazzi said to Zinedine Zidane that would provoke the shiny-pated Zidane to headbutt the shit out of him during the World Cup last year. (Who hasn't?) In his soon-to-be-released autobiography, Materazzi reveals the now-infamous l...

Goodbye, Byung Hyun Kim
A sad day yesterday, and the end of an era: Byung Hyun Kim was released by the Arizona Diamondbacks. We wonder if we will see him again....

Darren McFadden's NFL Draft Status Downgraded From "Yes" To "Probably Yes"
Yesterday, in a story which Deadspin suspiciously omitted, ESPN reported that Darren McFadden was declaring for the NFL after his upcoming junior season, so sayeth his momma after a chat with Pat Forde. Because that was such a news scoop. After all, rarely do exciting, electric football players ever...

I Like My Rich Garces With a Sprinkling of Powdered Sugar
Rich "El Gordo Guapo" Garces has been busying himself with minor league ball in Nashua (not Nassau) and now he's setting his sights on the majors. The relief pitcher of indeterminable weight will always be fondly remembered as a hero to all the fat guys in Boston, but could he actually return? Desp...

Hope You Didn't Forget About Pedro
Whatever your thoughts about the Mets, or little people, or any of it, we have to say, it just seems right — and exciting even — to see Pedro Martinez making his way back. It doesn't quite feel like baseball is in order without him....

You Cannot Destroy Priest Holmes
Of all the possible ways for a retired athlete to deal with the crushing blow of realizing that the only skill he's ever possessed is suddenly beyond his grasp, we supposed an "ill-fated comeback attempt" is above "winning 'Dancing With The Stars'" ... but just barely....

ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...

Finally, Some Damn Sports
Any other day of the season, tonight's abbreviated slate of baseball games would lack much noteworthy. But cripes, folks, it has been almost four days since we had any baseball. Around noon yesterday, we started to shake....