ball Page 1529 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
Texas A&M (14) vs. Arkansas (18) is on ESPN right now. Northwestern at No. 24 Illinois is on the Deuce. Big Ten Network's got Minnesota at No. 19 Michigan. If you're that into LSU or Boise State to want to watch them beat up on Kentucky and Nevada teams for which they have healthy disdains, you al...

Listen To The Longest Soccer Goal Call Without A Pause Ever
Your morning roundup for Oct. 1, the day the nanny state says you're no longer allowed to legally fornicate with animals in Florida. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin's College Top 25 Or So: Buzz For The Yellow Jackets
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

The Undervaluing Of <em>Moneyball</em>; Or, What You Can Learn By Watching With A Bunch Of Old People
Although advanced baseball analysis had been around for years, Michael Lewis's 2003 book Moneyball, about the Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane's using it to build their roster, helped to start an online industry of carping about player evaluation and team structure. The release of the 2011 fi...

Pussyblocked By Tom Waits!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...

JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...

Why It's OK To Hate Ron Jaworski And Jon Gruden
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

All The Baseball Announcers' Big, Joyous Calls Last Night (And Then One By Michael Kay)
Lots of exciting things happened on Wednesday, and for the most part our baseball broadcasters were up to the task. Above, we've compiled their calls of last night's biggest moments. Below, well, listen for yourself. ...

A Sampling From One Artist's Effort To Draw All 295 Members Of The Baseball Hall Of Fame
Summer Anne Burton is drawing every member of the National Baseball Hall of Fame in chronological order. She began the project in January, 2011, and she would be thrilled to draw your favorite baseball player for you. Here are some of her drawings. Click the images to expand....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....

Watch Bemused Florida Coach Will Muschamp Ask An Analogically Clumsy Reporter "What's A Padawan?"
In journalism school, as far as I know, they don't teach you to begin your SEC press conference questions with "Excuse the Star Wars reference, but..." You're supposed to inquire along the lines of "How do you stop that guy, coach," and "Would you like to score more points in the second half?" Ala...

More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...

The David Justice Lookalike Who Bombed Out Of Pro Baseball And Wound Up Playing David Justice In <em>Moneyball</em>
Moneyball popped into theaters on Friday, and it did well, among critics and audiences alike. The movie's impressive with its depiction of that A's team—fake Chad Bradford conjures up Chad Bradford, fake Jeremy Giambi reminds you of Jeremy Giambi, and so on....

There Is An NBA GM Out There Who Doesn't Know How To Use Google
Ever wonder if the men who run our professional basketball teams are as clueless as the men who were running our professional baseball teams (as depicted by Michael Lewis in his 2003 book Moneyball)? There is no definitive answer to that question, yet, but we do now know that at least one NBA GM doe...

The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

A Basketball Player Whose Life Was Saved By A Knee To The Groin
"Had the soreness and swelling in his groin not lingered the next few weeks, Statham probably wouldn't have visited a doctor in time to save his life. Doctors diagnosed Statham with a particularly aggressive form of malignant testicular cancer last November..." [The Dagger]...

After An 18-Second, 80-Yard Game-Winning Drive, Football Team Has To Answer To Guy In Banana Suit
In Minnesota small-college football circles, Augsburg College's stunning upset of St. John's University is being called "The Miracle in Collegeville." That's an apt name considering the game was played in Collegeville and anytime you engineer an 80-yard game-winning drive that starts with 18 secon...

Screw You, And Screw Your Man Card
I don't know who invented the phrase "Turn in your man card," but whoever it is should be taken out in the street and have his balls stomped on by a fucking marching band. Every Sunday, I'm now subjected to some goddamn Miller Lite ad where the guys in it are like, "ZOMG! You're drinking a generic l...

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Some Guy In Taiwan Dropped His Daughter To Try To Catch A Baseball (Video)
He also failed to catch the ball. But he did get quite a glare from from what looks like his understandably angry wife. Who else would love to have heard him attempt to explain his stupidity and complete lack of chivalry?...