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Hugh Johnson Project - Update 3
We've got one more of these coming... pretty please keep the IMs coming to "DeadspinFootball" on AOL Instant Messenger. You guys are amazing. In fact, I wish I had room for more of these......

Hugh Johnson Project - Update 1
• You know what I hate? "Oooo-EEE! Spendin' limit? Who cares? Not us, cuz them ain't our currrr-edit cards." That's what I hate....

Hopefully There's Peanut Butter Up There
Man has debated the true nature of vegetables since the beginning of recorded history. Does celery have a soul? Do carrots believe in a higher existence? And what's the deal with garden cress? We don't think we would be able to sleep at night if we thought that, when he passes to his great reward,...

The Hugh Johnson Weekend Football Project
As you might have noticed, college football starts in earnest this weekend, and our man The Mighty MJD is all over it on the weekend beat. In fact, he's introducing a new project that, if you're around on the weekend, you can be a part of. We're calling it the "Hugh Johnson Weekend Project." We'll...

The Closer: OK, For One Night, We Don't Despise You
Notes from a day in baseball:...

If We Know Anything, It's That You Can't Beat The Greeks At Basketball
Looks like The Mighty MJD won his bet. We glumly welcome you this morning with the news that Team USA lost to Greece 101-95 in the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships....

Things That PETA Is Better Off Not Knowing About, No. 112
If you're like us, you frequently ask yourselves, "where can I find top, reliable donkeys for my donkey sporting event?" Fortunately we found Donkey Sports, Inc., and our troubles are over. For the finest in Donkey Softball and Donkey Basketball events, we highly recommend this company....

Sometimes, YouTube Can Be A Very Dangerous Thing
This is "Hugh Johnson," which is an incredibly clever fake name, and he has a UCLA fan site. He is, as you can tell here, extremely clever. And if we were a UCLA backer right now, we'd be hiding under our desk....

Fired Up In Buckeye Land
We're still a week and a half away from the second consecutive Jeez, Is It This Important Already? Bowl between Ohio State and Texas, but, as you would probably expect, they're appropriately fired up in the Columbus area....

Minor Enterprise: Save Me, Obi Wan Rabbit
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you've been arrested for public drunkeness while wearing a mascot beaver costume, contact us...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: JJ Redick
Former Duke popped collar shooting guard J.J. Redick has been a consistent source of amusement around here for a while now, from the typical bashing of Duke to his crying during the NCAA Tournament to his weird video game experiences...

"Show Me Where Mariotti Touched You, Alex"
We can't quite put our finger on why a picture of Ozzie Guillen talking to Alex Rodriguez while A-Rod violently adjusts his crotch region is funny .... but it nevertheless is....

The Closer: Delmon Young Receives Welcoming Gift
Notes from a day in baseball:...

U.S. Advances Once Again: Bring On The Greeks!
In a game we actually got up to watch for you this morning, the United States coasted into the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships by scooting past Germany 85-65 in Japan. We hope you actually were near an ESPN2 at the time, because, like all week, FIBA's Web site wasn't working, even s...

Nebraska Is Looking At The World Through Fly's Eyes
If you've ever been around a light source in the middle of an expanded Midwestern landscape of soybeans and chubby cows, you know you've got to be wary of Them Bugs. Them Bugs will attack you in intense droves, and they will do so without warning. A bug zapper will help, but just a little: There's n...

Controversy Rocks The Little League World Series
It seems we have proven once again that, when it comes to baseball, you should probably take what we say and expect the exact opposite. The team from Columbus, Ga. beat Kawaguchi City, Japan, 2-1, on Monday to claim the Little League World Series title, as America finally exacts revenge for the Wo...

Somehow, These Guys Weren't A Big Hit In Pittsburgh
The Pittsburgh Pirates were having a fireworks night at PNC Park on Thursday. They beat the Astros and the whether was nice, and everyone was having a good time. Until Me First and the Gimme Gimmes took the stage....

Australia Gets Their Beatdown
Team USA buried a big Paul Hogan-style knife into the Australian national team last night, winning by 40 in a game that wasn't as close as the score would indicate. Carmelo had 20, Joe Johnson 18, Dwyane Wade 15, and Shane Battier and Chris Bosh had 12 each....