ball Page 511 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let These Good Baseball Children Warm Your Rotten Heart
Wednesday night’s Dodgers-Phillies game was interrupted by a lengthy rain delay. For one fan this meant an opportunity to treat the tarp covering the infield as a Slip ’n Slide; for others, it meant sleep. For many, it meant leaving the stadium and going home. Those who left missed the Dodgers carry...
Measured By Length Of Suspension, A Reckless Beaning Is Worse Than Trucking A Catcher
Angels pitcher Noé Ramirez was suspended by Major League Baseball for three games for plunking Astros outfielder Jake Marisnick Tuesday night. This is MLB determining that the beaning was intentional and, notably, hitting Ramirez with a longer suspension than the one given to Marisnick for bulldozin...
Free Chris Paul
Before the Houston Rockets traded Chris Paul to the rebuilding Oklahoma City Thunder last week, they reportedly tried to involve a third team in the deal, in order to redirect Paul to a more competitive situation. When that effort proved especially cumbersome, Rockets general manager Daryl Morey res...
Idiot On The Tarp Enjoys Slippin' N Slidin' During Phillies Rain Delay
It’s raining all over the East Coast, and as a result, baseball is at a standstill. Fans from Philadelphia to Baltimore to Boston have already been forced to sit through delays on Wednesday night, with most of them likely huddled in the concourses, cowering in fear of the precipitation....
David Price Is Still Weirdly Hot Under The Collar About Dennis Eckersley
You would think interpersonal beef that arises out of one person saying one single non-R-rated word about a third party could not possible last longer than, say, a couple weeks. Turns out you would be way wrong about that. The dumb beef between Red Sox pitcher David Price and NESN broadcaster Dennis...
"Mai Tai Guy" Has No Regrets Over Stealing Walk-Off Home Run Ball From Kids
The Cubs beat the Reds in dramatic, walk-off fashion on Tuesday night, as Kyle Schwarber hit a 10th-inning dinger to put an exclamation point on a Chicago day that had already seen the capture of notorious alligator Chance the Snapper. And as one minor local reptilian celebrity was consigned to a bu...
FIFA Puts An End To The Scourge Of Amazing, Impossible Goalkeeper Goals
Goalkeepers occasionally score goals. Some turn it into an art form; Brazil’s Rogério Ceni scored 131 times. Still, a game where a goalkeeper scores is rare. Even rarer still: a goalkeeper throwing the ball into the other team’s net for a goal....
Coach Who Once Ditched Job During Season Frets About College Football Player Transfers
Alabama football coach Nick Saban thinks “the spirit” of college football’s transfer portal “in and of itself is a positive thing for players.” But let’s not get carried away: Lest anyone think he’s completely on board with the idea of players having the sort of agency that, say, coaches do, Saban t...
Most Exciting Incidental Things To Happen At A Sporting Event, Ranked
I went with my family to a collegiate summer league baseball game last week, because tickets were cheap and because we needed a decent excuse to leave the house. If you’ve ever been to a summer league game—or to a much bigger professional sporting event—you know that there are things that occur with...
Manny Machado Calls Eric Byrnes And Dan Plesac The "Biggest Tools Out There"
Manny Machado, while lounging at home and watching MLB Network last night, decided to pop off his shirt, log into Instagram, and get some things off his chest. What followed was a solid three minutes of Machado shitting on MLB Network commentators Dan Plesac and Eric Byrnes while pointing out the le...
Jake Marisnick Is Ready For This To Be Over
The Astros played the Angels in Los Angeles last night, marking the first time Houston outfielder Jake Marisnick had to face Angels fans since knocking out Jonathan Lucroy with a brutal home-plate collision. He did not receive a warm reception....
Ned Yost Can Teach You Whippersnappers A Thing Or Two About The Moon Landing, So Listen Up!
The Royals beat the White Sox 11-0 last night, and got a complete game shutout from starting pitcher Glenn Sparkman. But who gives a shit about any of that? We’re here to learn about space from Royals manager Ned Yost....
Benches Clear In Rays-Yankees Over Grown Men Arguing About Not Talking To Each Other
The benches cleared briefly in the middle of the sixth inning of Tuesday night’s Rays-Yankees tilt in New York. No one was plunked or brushed back; there were no dirty slides; no catchers were trucked at the plate. Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia struck out Rays outfielder Avisail Garcia on a, hmm, cr...
Steve Kerr Tentatively Reminds Shaq Of Obligation To Kiss Kerr's Cheese-Covered Feet
Back in 2005, Shaquille O’Neal thought no coach would ever match what Phil Jackson did with the Lakers between 2000 to 2004: guide a team to the Finals four out of five years. “It will never be done again,” Shaq said, promising to kiss the cheese-covered feet of any person that did it, on a TV show ...
Let The Alligator Throw The First Pitch
Chance the Snapper—a Chicago alligator who gained fame last week when he was first noticed living in the Humboldt Park lagoon—was taken into custody Tuesday morning by reptile expert Frank Robb, who was hired specifically to grab the creature. Before he was apprehended, the 5-foot-3 Chance captured ...
Pete Alonso's Charming "English Muffin" Quote, Like Most Precious Things In Life, Was A Sham
Before Mets slugger Pete Alonso participated in the Home Run Derby during the all-star break, he earned a little moment with this seemingly off-the-cuff quip: “It doesn’t matter how much jelly you have in the jar, it’s about how you spread it on your English muffin.” That’s funny. Well, guess what? ...
I Cannot Play On The Fucking Floor With These Kids One More Second
Today, we’re talking about moats, supercross, onions, Texas, and more....
You’re Not Sticking To Sports When You Stick To Sports
We live in an age of mass cowardice, and so it’s unsurprising that the PGA—that famed bastion of sporting tolerance—would not only charge ahead with staging a major tournament at a Trump-owned golf course, but also that they would limply try to have it both ways by consigning the President’s flagran...
Barry Sanders Was The Coolest Football Player Who Ever Lived
What would it take for a present-day football player to equal or surpass the sheer coolness of Barry Sanders, who turns 51 years old today? I’m not sure it’s even possible. Individual humans simply are not permitted to impose themselves on the sport’s structure in 2019 the way they were in 1992. And...
Report: MLB Considering Adding Dopey Advertising Patches To Uniforms
According to the Sports Business Journal, we are one step closer to living in a world in which every possible moment spent watching a sporting event will also be a moment spent absorbing corporate advertising. That’s because MLB is reportedly considering following the NBA’s lead and adding advertisi...