ball Page 585 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Giants Are Maybe Ready To Maybe Maybe Maybe Move On From Eli Manning
Giants general manager and ornery math-hater Dave Gettleman did his year-end press conference on Wednesday. Predictably, the questions tended to angle for information about the team’s quarterback situation, where Eli Manning has become a tomato can while somehow also putting up one of the more conve...
Former NFL Scout Issues Truly Hamburger-Brained Antonio Brown Take
Since the Steelers drafted Antonio Brown before the 2010 season, he’s averaged 93 receptions, 1,245 receiving yards, and more than eight touchdowns a season. He’s led the league in receptions twice; he’s led the league in yards twice; he’s made the Pro Bowl seven times; he’s been a first-team All-Pr...
The Booger Mobile Has Been Decommissioned For The Season, And Possibly Forever<em></em>
Bad news for all those Boogerheads out there: ESPN will not be utilizing Booger McFarland’s whimsical and obnoxiously large contraption for this weekend’s Colts-Texans wild-card playoff game. The Booger Mobile’s aspirations for world domination have hit a snag....
Is ESPN's Big Year-Long Love Letter To College Football Going To Suck?<em></em>
ESPN announced today that it will be running a year-long feature “on every platform” that is meant to act as a celebration of college football. The introductory story, written by ESPN senior writer Ivan Maisel starts like this:...
Kawhi Leonard Turned Off The Jazz
Kawhi Leonard buried the Jazz under the most assaultive offensive output of his career on Tuesday, hanging an alarmingly efficient 45 points on 16-of-22 shooting in a 122-116 win. The Raptor-for-now ascended to a higher plane in his 19-point third quarter, sinking every shot he attempted. He did all...
James Harden Is On An Unholy Tear Right Now
The Houston Rockets—who this season have been dead, not dead, and dead again—are decidedly no longer dead. Since getting spit-roasted by Luka Dončić, Houston has gone 10-1, with the lone loss a two-point squeaker in Miami. Chris Paul tweaked his hamstring, again, in that game, yet it hasn’t mattered...
Your Favorite Baseball Team Can Afford Any Free Agent It Wants
The days are no longer getting shorter and darker, and began to bounce back in the right direction a few days before Christmas. There is still a lot of winter left, though, and given the way that the MLB offseason just kind of never got around to happening last year, it’s hard to know when things w...
Joel Embiid Flips Out After Ben Simmons Fights Him For A Rebound
Cartoon steam billowed out of every player’s ears towards the end of a spicy 119-113 Sixers win over the Clippers Tuesday night. Joel Embiid and Patrick Beverley had to be pried apart in a meeting of master trolls; Jimmy Butler and Avery Bradley then got a double-ejection for some choke-pushing. Ear...
Maybe A Troy Tulowitzki Signing Will Tide You Over While You Wait On Manny Machado
We’ve been preheating the damn oven for two months, but now that it’s 2019 perhaps we are finally entering the hot stove season we’ve been so rudely denied? The Yankees have signed a multi-time all-star, multi–gold glove winning shortstop!...just not that one....
Christmas Candy Vs. Halloween Candy: Who Ya Got?!
Today we’re talking about groomzillas, NFL bye weeks, Olive Garden, shitty teams, and more....
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
Happy new year, one and all. This year, resolve to take better care of your dick and balls; last year you did a really bad job of it....
Reports: Antonio Brown Missed Sunday's Game Because He Was Pissed Off, Not Hurt
Steelers all-pro wideout Antonio Brown missed his team’s crucial Week 17 game against the Bengals on Sunday, which was a must-win to keep Pittsburgh’s playoff hopes alive. On the preceding Thursday, the team’s injury report listed Brown as having a knee injury, but according to reports from around t...
The Jets Failed To Clean House
Todd Bowles was doomed. That much was clear seven weeks ago, after a 41-10 home loss to the Bills, who were starting a fourth-string quarterback in another lost season of their own. The question for the Jets on this Black Monday is why general manager Mike Maccagnan got a reprieve....
These NFL Coaches Sucked Enough To Get Fired This Year
Hue Jackson and Mike McCarthy were horrible enough to get canned during the regular season, but now that Week 17's wrapped up, it’s time for all the other disappointing NFL head coaches to join them in the Great Coordinator Gig in the Sky. Here’s a brief roundup of everyone who’s been canned today....
For Better And Worse, Marvin Lewis <i>Was</i> The Bengals
Do you even remember the Bengals before Marvin Lewis? The Dave Shula–Bruce Coslet–Dick LeBeau trilogy of sadness? It is no overstatement to say that Lewis led this franchise to its golden age in the Mike Brown era, nor that Lewis was this franchise for a generation ... nor that what Lewis and this f...
Eagles’ Third-String QB Throws Touchdown Pass, Negotiates With Kid To Get Football Back<em></em><em></em>
Nate Sudfeld entered the Eagles’ playoff-clinching 24-0 win over Washington yesterday after Nick Foles got hurt and threw just one pass. It was a 22-yard TD toss to Nelson Agholor, the first touchdown throw of Sudfeld’s career. ...
Raiders Hire Mike Mayock, The TV Man
Mark Davis hired a man off the teevee, again....
Dan Snyder Doesn't Get It
Was this it, finally? Was this the utter embarrassment needed for Dan Snyder, who has owned an NFL team for 20 years and watched it descend over that time from the ranks of the league’s proud/storied/whatever franchises into a permanent laughingstock—over which time the one constant has been Snyder ...
Nick Foles Has Done It Again, Of Course
Although it seemed unlikely coming into Sunday, and even more unlikely several weeks out, we all kind of knew this would happen. The Nick Foles-led miracle Eagles have scratched their way back into the playoffs, edging out the Minnesota Vikings for the NFC’s second Wild Card spot. This could only ha...
Lamar Jackson And The Retooled Ravens Completed Their Romp To The Playoffs
For all the sublime football the Chiefs, Rams, and Saints provided us this year, the most entertaining aspect of the season may have been the Baltimore Ravens’ transformation from fodder for the rest of AFC into the NFL’s scariest War Rig. They beat the Browns today, 26-24, to clinch a playoff berth...