barryzito Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked by Barry Zito. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Barry Zito Prepares To Illuminate The World With His Atrocious Singing
Sweet mother of Christmas, this is bad. Giants super-chill pitcher Barry Zito is recording an album and, unfortunately for him (and anyone who listens), one of his songs was leaked to The Dirty. "What A Man's Gotta Do." Ugh. [TheDirty]...

Barry Zito Uses Twitter To Talk About His New Kitchen Appliances
"It's cold in my room, but my Dutch oven warms me up..." [Pacman Jonesin']...

With $126 Million, Barry Zito Apparently Bought Himself A Lucrative Poon Taxi Business
Or something. Here's the well-paid San Francisco Giants pitcher being all coy and annoyed with an over-excited professional celebrity-stalker. [TMZ]...

Introducing The Loneliest Boy In The World
Poor Brandon. Back in April of last year, the Barry Zito Fathead seemed like a very cool thing to have. But 170 innings and 24 losses later, this young man is not only reevaluating his choice of room decor, but also his very existence on this earth. Young Brandon is now a virtual shutin; ostracized ...

Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...

Breaking: Pirates Bobblehead May Be Giving Us The Finger
The Pirates and Mets were rained out on Monday, giving Pittsburgh fans a little extra time to pull their Tom Gorzelanny bobblehead dolls out of their boxes and examine them closely for the first time. Fans received the bobble on Saturday as the Pirates took on the Phillies at PNC Park. Examining the...

Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...

The Giants Are Obsessed With Paula Abdul
You might remember last year, when Barry Bonds became the only man to ever dress up as Paula Abdul and not need fake breasts. (It was for the yearly Giants' "American Idol" contest, or something.) Well, the Giants pulled off the stunt again this year, and we have to say, this whole Barry Bonds and B...

Breaking News! Baseball Player Signs Ridiculous Contract!
I'm so excited to tell you this I might as well just copy and paste the fucker:...

Barry Zito Talks To Seals
I'd have bet that something called "At Home, with Lisa Guerrero" would've been softcore porn, but it's not. The former Monday Night Football sideline reporter has a TV show somewhere in which she visits people in their homes and does friendly little features on them. Here, she visits Barry Zito....

Barry Zito's Suddenly A Zesty Italian!
In response to our light tapping of Alex Rodriguez for playing for the Dominican Republic in the upcoming World Baseball Classic, reader Gerald Smith emails us to set us straight:...