baseball Page 313 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There's Nothing More Annoying Than A Rays Fan With A Cowbell
OK, first of all, Cowbell Kid may seem pretty impressive when he's among his own in Tropicana Field, but I'd like to see him tearing down banners and clanging his bell at Fenway ... or Yankee Stadium, for that matter. Can Cowbell Kid win on the road? That's the question. As for the Rays, they've ans...
Rays, Red Sox Let Us All Down, Fail To Brawl
So what happened to Jonathan Papelbon's prediction of fisticuffs and other mayhem when the Red Sox returned to Tropicana Field? No brushbacks or punches or obscene gestures ... all we got was some lame identity theft. Rays manager Joe Maddon spent much of Monday trying to cancel his debiit card, whi...
Say Hello To A-Rod's New Friends
A pretty outstanding tidbit that was missed in all the madness yesterday: You remember when the Brewers ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furries convention? Well, that happened again this week, in Pittsburgh, and guess what team ended up in the Pittsburgh hotel this time?...
The Western Michigan Whitecaps Will Restore Balance To The Universe
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy....
Look At Those Crazy Rays, And The Dead Fish
• Battered Fish. A 10-run inning? Wha? The Battle of Florida is not going well for the Marlins, as Tampa Bay enjoyed a 10-run, 14-batter, 32-minute fifth inning on its way to a 15-3 win. Carl Crawford had two homers and five RBI. Believe it or not, it wasn't a franchise record for the Rays, who once...
Shawn Chacon's Guide To Punching Your Boss In The Face
You know what baseball needs more of? Physical fistfights between general managers and players. Imagine the fisticuffs that would ensue between Jon Daniels and Milton Bradley. Jim Bowden and Elijah Dukes. Heavens, Theo Epstein and David Ortiz. We might buy a pay-per-view of that....
Jason Giambi Has Become A '70s Porn King
Jason Giambi has dyed his mustache. That made this happen. Heavens to Betsy....
SuperYid Youkilis Drubs The Hardly Punchless RedBirds
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
J.P. Ricciardi Meets The Jerky Boys
OK, so, to bring you up to date:...
Smack My Bitch Up: Major League Baseball's Continuing Domestic Abuse Problem
Today is the second anniversary of Phillies pitcher Brett Myers' post-wife beating game start. Philadelphia magazine writer Rich Rys examines the impact of that decision and how it's affected his career and what it says about Major League Baseball''s handling of domestic violence cases. He can be r...
The Cardinals Just May Have Changed The Game As We Know It
Dilemma: How to lug a cooler full of refreshing beverages to the bullpen each day without injuring certain medial collateral ligaments? Solution: The motorized cooler. Credit Cardinals' reliever Jason Isringhausen — who had to keep busy somehow while on the 15-day DL — with this upgrade of a regular...
The Politically Incorrect Cow
There's no way we're not seeing that cow in our nightmares. We had no idea he was so ... tall....
Welcome To The Battle Of Chicago
Now that's what I'm talking about. This is how you do a rivalry, people. North Side vs. South Side, Ozzie vs. Lou. Plenty of trash talk. Copious amounts of Ryan Dempster. Let's get it on! When Round 1 was over on Sunday the Cubs had done it; swept the White Sox in the Friendly Confines. Round 2 comi...
We Enjoyed Fenway Park Almost As Much As Brendan Ryan
We know that Bostonians take a lot of heat around these parts — or pretty much anywhere in the world of sport these days — and we suspect they can take it; multiple championships will serve as balm to just about any wound. (Other, than, you know, maybe a gunshot.) But we're gonna compliment them any...
Elijah Dukes Is A Bad Bad Man
The Rangers (née Senators) and the Nationals (like the Senators minus Frank Howard) took 14 innings to decide things before Elijah Dukes delivered with his second walk-off hit of the month. Back on June 5th Dukes finally crossed the Mendoza line with four hits, including a 10th inning game-winning h...
Yankees Officially The Hottest Team In Baseball. Discuss
Joba Chamberlain pitched well, but didn't get the decision. Alex Rodriguez singled in the go-ahead run. Derek Jeter, his pillow wet from tears, was 2-for-3 with a run scored. The Yankees beat the Padres 2-1 on Thursday for their seventh straight win — New York's longest winning streak of the season...
There's A Nice Man In A Suit At The Door Who Would Like To Talk To You, Mr. Fielder
Do you owe back taxes you can't pay? Don't let the IRS freeze your bank account, or threaten your job. Call the law offices of Moskowitz and Moskowitz and let our tax experts show you a way to settle your IRS problems for pennies on the dollar. Run and hide, and face jail, or call us today. Vegetari...
Long Beach Armada Pulling Out All The Stops For The Plumber
It's time once again for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award-winning series Minor Enterprise, where we extol the virtues of minor league baseball, its promotions, and the women who love them....
Kevin Millar: Word To Your Mother
Because we're video crazy this morning, Bromoblog has uncovered an apparent bet between Jason Varitek and Kevin Millar on the NBA Finals; loser has to come to bat to Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby." Apparently Millar lost....
The Beery Nine Over The Siamese From The West
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...