baseball Page 319 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
People Not Quite Old Enough To Remember The Last Cubs' Title
Forgive us the doubling-up on Cubs stuff today, but we just can't help ourselves: A new story in — of course — AARP Magazine chronicles the plight of old people just trying to stay alive long enough to see a Cubs World Series win. (Via wrigleyville23.) Our suggestion is to look into cryogenics....
Of Mice And Men
You can imagine my pride when I discovered that my two local baseball teams, the Giants and Athletics, were found to be among the worst transgressors in a recent survey of health code violations at stadium concessions. As far as Oakland's McAfee Coliseum goes, all I have to hear are the terms "overh...
Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...
Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!
Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem....
Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....
Look Out, Kids: Here Come The Devil Rays
For the first time in franchise history, the Devil Rays are five games over .500. They've won four in a row, and they have the opportunity to make a huge splash with a four-game set at home against the Yankees this week. (Before heading to Busch for three with our Cards; the Cardinals vs. the Rays ...
Baseball Taking Much-Needed Milestone Break
One of our favorite early-season baseball rituals is the old "on-pace-for" game. Unfortunately, it's slim pickings this year; no one's hitting a ton of homers, and there aren't many individuals completely tearing up the league. (It's almost as if they're missing some sort of value-added supplements ...
Our Field Trip To Miller Park
We would like to formally thank everyone who made our visit to Milwaukee this weekend so enjoyable. We saw two NL Central "contenders" fire their closers, two games decided in the ninth inning and we even took the "hard hat" tour of the Miller Brewing plant, where we saw, first hand, why people are ...
The Placement Of That Pitch Has Vexed Me, Sir. Now We Shall Wrestle
It's not really a classic baseball brawl until a tubby Don Zimmer is thrown to the turf, but this'll do. It happened on Thursday at Safeco Field: After the Rangers' Kason Gabbard tossed a fourth-inning delivery at the Mariners' Richie Sexson at face level, Sexson charged the mound and clocked Gabba...
Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...
Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...
Learn The Lesson Of Henri Cochet
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
MLB To 'Draft' Negro League Veterans; Mets To Overpay The Pitchers As Usual
Whenever Dave Winfield and Bud Selig come together to cook up an idea, you know it's going to be good. Reportedly it was the two of them who came up with this one: a ceremonial draft of Negro League veterans by all of the Major League teams, to be held next month. Expect the Nationals to actually in...
Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the ...
Perfect Game
One of John Challis' final wishes was to get to bat in a high school baseball game. Challis, an 18-year-old senior at Freedom High School in Pennsylvania, is dying of cancer. Doctors say he might have as little as two months to live. But on April 14 he got his wish; getting an at-bat in a league ga...
Ten Years Since Wood's Amazing Game
We love reminders of just how old we really are. Newsweek informed us that it has been 10 years since "Seinfeld" went off the hair air, which is just jaw-dropping, when you think about it. But that's nothing like Friends Of The Program's revelation: It has been 10 years since Kerry Wood's 20-strikeo...
Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity
It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stom...
Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine
Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper ...
Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have...
Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition
Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keep...