beijing-olympics Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Usain Bolt Is The Fastest Man Alive. Your Move, Lindsay Lohan
So is there room in the same Olympics for both the best swimmer and best sprinter of all time? Jamaica's Usain Bolt showed what he can do when he decides to run the entire distance, grabbing his his second world record and his second Olympic gold medal, winning the 200-meters in 19.30 seconds to bre...
Introducing The Smart Look For Back To School
Notice to any women who are hoping for hot multiple gold medal sex with a certain big-eared swimmer in the coming weeks; Michael Phelps' sperm are not to be trifled with. As this T-shirt by The Hotness Factory clearly illustrates, his boys can swim; they are pretty much the Navy Seals of spermatozoa...
Michael Phelps Getting Him Some Lindsay Lohan (OMG, LOL)
When it comes to Michael Phelps, Lindsay Lohan is apparently willing to postpone this whole lesbian thing. While interviewing Michael's mom Debbie on Monday, Hobbit-like Access Hollywood correspondent Billy Bush received a text message from Lohan, which he proceeded to show Debbie while on the air. ...
Some More Mustard On That 100-Meter Gold Medal, Mr. Bolt?
So, what if Michael Phelps had a huge lead in the 200 meter freestyle, and as he approached the finish he flipped over and started doing a lazy backstroke, spitting water up like a fountain? Or the U.S. women's basketball team, ahead by 30 in the gold medal game, running around making Harlem Globetr...
Robots In Spandex, Sleeping Until Noon And Falling On Your Ass
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Beijing Opening Ceremony Performers And American Astronauts Have Much In Common
Say, remember those Opening Ceremonies from Beijing the other night? Pretty awesome, right? There was a globe! And glowsticks! And a scrim! And all kinds of crazy shit! As we now know, many of the elements from the ceremony were faked (or as fake as something involving a staged presentation can be)...
Behold, The Power Of Cheese: Phelps Wins No. 6
The surgeon general is frantically trying to keep a lid on the latest story out of Beijing, in which Michael Phelps has revealed his daily diet. He won gold medal No. 6 on Friday — in the 200-meter individual medley — leaving him one away from Mark Spitz' record with two races to go. And he has 12 g...
Andrea Joyce Got Off Easy
The video below made the rounds a couple of months ago, but considering recent events, it really needs to be revisited. It purportedly shows slippery-footed American gymnast Alicia Sacramone punching some dude and knocking him out (following the jump). As you can see, Ms. Sacramone has a pretty dyna...
Andrea Joyce Makes Tiny Gymnast Cry; Enjoys It
Problem: We want captured terrorist suspects to talk, but conventional torture methods are morally troublesome and politically dangerous. Solution: Andrea Joyce! Judging from the way that the NBC correspondent interrogated emotionally brittle gymnast Alicia Sacramone on Wednesday, I'd guess that Al ...
She Bangs: South Korea Beats Us In Baseball
I was unaware that the Mets' bullpen had even made the trip to China, but every day you learn something new. In an upset of William Hung winning American Idol proportions, South Korea made Kim Chee out of the U.S. relievers to take an 8-7 win in an Olympic opener. Lee Jong-wook hit a sacrifice fly w...
We Welcome Our New Michael Phelps Overlord
The goggles, they do nothing! Despite leaky specs in the first race of the morning — the 200 meter butterfly — Michael Phelps claimed his fourth gold medal of the Beijing Games. He then went on to capture No. 5 as the U.S. became the first team to crack the 7-minute barrier in the 800 freestyle rela...
Sub-Continent Rejoices: India Has Their First Gold Medalist After 80 Years of Competing
It's kind of difficult to put into words how unbelievable it is that a country of 1.1 billion people had never won an individual gold medal before. Especially since India has been participating in the Olympics since 1928. In the ensuing 80 years they'd won only four individual medals. None of them ...
No, Mark Spitz Will Not Go Quietly. And Why Should He?
Good line by a commenter on last night's DUAN, "Mark Spitz is printing 6-1 t-shirts as we speak." And it wouldn't surprise me to peak into Spitz's basement and see said shirts actually in production. If he wasn't rooting against Michael Phelps before, he most likely is now that he's been snubbed by ...
Dirk Nowitzki Has Olympic Fever
Getting things shaved into the side or back of your head has become popular again. 1985 rules! First black basketball players brought it back and now it's crossed over to white basketball players. Albeit German ones. Nowitzki's new 'do is appropriate considering he'll be the flag-bearer for Germany...
Tattoos And Boner Pills = Olympic Gold
Apparently there's a new method of taking performance-enhancing drugs so that pesky IOC testers will be none the wiser: By tattoo. Inserting the drugs through tattoo needles means that smaller doses pack a bigger punch, evidently, and athletes can "fly under the radar" in doping tests. And if you pu...
So How Much Trouble Is Team USA In, Really?
Is Team USA doomed? Should an 87-76 win over Australia on Tuesday in the final tuneup before official Olympic competition be considered a good thing, or a harbinger of doom? Is this shaping up to be a debacle like 2004, when we could only manage a bronze? When Argentina asks you how their ass taste,...
Chinese Nicknames For NBA Players Are Confusing, Fun
From now on, Damon Stoudamire will be referred to on this site by his Chinese nickname: Little Flying Mouse. Likewise Steve Francis (Special Rights), Carmelo Anthony (Sweet Melon) and Manu Ginobili (Argentina's Flying Man). Finally, something fun from the Beijing Olympics. Guess whose nickname is Li...
Surprisingly, All The Porn Comes In Fine
So, you're in Beijing right now, still waiting for Fire Joe Morgan to load? Don't hold your breath, comrade. As we mentioned earlier, some web sites which members of the foreign media are attempting to access in China are mysteriously failing to show up. Censorship? Surely not. Except that the Inter...
Queen Quedith Earth Harrison Is Beijing Bound
Meet one of the youngest members of the U.S. Olympic track and field team; Virginia Tech's Queen Quedith Earth Harrison. In addition to being a talented runner and having a name that sings, the 19-year-old has another thing going for her: A large rooting section. Harrison has 22 brothers and sisters...
Old People, Keeping The Streets Of London Safe
Now we know where Simeon Williamson — Britain's best hope for a medal in the 100-meter dash now that Dwain Chambers has been banned for doping — got his speed. His grandmother, 78-year-old Pearline Williamson, ran down a mugger in North London after her purse was snatched....