bills Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ref Kicks Dildo At Bills Game

Bills fans tossing sex toys onto the field is a well-worn bit at this point, as evidenced by the fact that three separate dildos made their way onto the playing surface during last night’s game against the Patriots. It’s probably time for the dildo-tossers to get a new gag, but this one plays as lon...

Patriots Knocked Down A Solid Notch Or Two By Devastating Fan Sign

No recovering from this sort of burn, carefully printed out in landscape format across one half of a single 8.5" x 11" sheet of printer paper. Truly this must be the end of the Patriots dynasty as we know it....

The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>

The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....

Ass Team Of The Week: Sean McDermott Cooked Up The Butt Meat And Derek Anderson Is Serving It

When watching the very bad football games that I have to watch in order to write this series, I sometimes like to play a game called How Long Can They Hide The Ass? This game consists of seeing how long a team that is known and verified to be butt can play any other way before the familiar stench re...

The Bills Did Not Get The Derek Anderson Renaissance, But They'll Give It Another Shot

Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman was so dreadful last week, the team had to bench him for 35-year-old Derek Anderson, who hadn’t started a game since 2016 but was the only remaining healthy QB on the roster, for Sunday’s contest against the Colts. Ah, but therein lies a conundrum: When Derek Ander...

With Josh Allen Hurt, The Bills Will Start Not Nathan Peterman

Rookie quarterback Josh Allen has an elbow injury, and bad quarterback Nathan Peterman shit his ass last Sunday, so the Bills will now turn to old quarterback Derek Anderson for their Week 7 game against the Colts....

Text Messages Show Bill Self Working With Shady Adidas Consultant To Recruit Player

The federal government’s wire fraud case against Christian Dawkins, Merl Code, and James Gatto for allegedly using Adidas’ money to pay college basketball recruits is nearing its conclusion, as the District Court judge in charge of the case reportedly told the jury today that deliberations could beg...

Poor Nathan Peterman Reaches New Low With Brutal Game-Ending Pick-Six

Time to add another highlight to the Nathan Peterman archives. After rookie QB Josh Allen hurt himself in the second half of Buffalo’s game against the Texans, Nathan Peterman took the field, and even gave the Bills a fourth-quarter lead with a very pretty touchdown pass. Buffalo’s defense was mauli...

Jadeveon Clowney Tackled Chris Ivory By A Single Dreadlock

This is a legal tackle, but good lord, it looked painful as hell. I’m just happy that Jadaveon Clowney didn’t yank Chris Ivory’s dreadlock all the way out....

Sam Darnold Had Better Watch Out, Because Josh Allen Has The Poise Now

Jets quarterback Sam Darnold may have rebounded from throwing an early pick-six to pick apart the Lions in his team’s season opener, but he is no longer leading rookie QBs in poise. Bills signal caller Josh Allen has claimed pole position—or is it poise position?...

The Vikings Are Making Josh Allen Look Like Superman

Rookie QB Josh Allen and the Bills are just inexplicably and completely picking apart the Minnesota Vikings in their game so far this afternoon, jumping out to a 24-0 lead after just one quarter and change. ...

Vontae Davis Might've Just Retired In The Middle Of A Game [Update]

The Bills came into Sunday’s game against the Chargers, an eventual 31-20 loss, with just four cornerbacks dressed. After Phillip Gaines was carted off with an elbow injury, they were down to three. And then Vontae Davis just disappeared. Not on the field. Not on the sidelines. No reported injury. J...

Taiwan Jones Injured On Helmet-To-Head Hit

Taiwan Jones suffered a scary-looking injury in the third quarter of the Bills’ game against the Chargers today. He picked up a muffed punt, lost his helmet and took a helmet-to-head hit in his own end zone....

Bills Fans Already In Midseason Form

Cops Will Try To Halt The Tailgating Bills Fans' War Against Tables

The Buffalo Bills will play their first home game of the season this Sunday against the Chargers. (The last time those two teams played, Nathan Peterman threw five picks in a half.) Hordes of Zubaz-clad Bills fans will presumably mark the home opener as is tradition: by getting mega drunk and tryin...

At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird

The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...

Bills Finally Admit Nathan Peterman Has No Business Being A Starting QB

The Buffalo Bills have finally stopped trying to make Nathan Peterman happen. Head coach Sean McDermott said today that rookie quarterback Josh Allen would start this Sunday for the Bills’ game against the Chargers....

It Took Just 34 Minutes For The Bills To Ditch Nathan Peterman

Nathan Peterman has, um, struggled just a bit in his time as a Buffalo Bills quarterback, most notably in the five-pick first half that followed his inexplicable start against the Chargers last season. But for some reason, the Bills felt confident enough in a guy who had never thrown for more than 8...

Reports: LeSean McCoy Is Unlikely To Be Charged, Coincidentally In Time For You To Root For Him Today

Buffalo Bills running back LeSean McCoy is unlikely to faces charges stemming from his alleged role in a home invasion and robbery in July that put his ex-girlfriend, Delicia Cordon, in the hospital, according to reports this morning from Adam Schefter and Ian Rapoport....

Bills Pack Nathan Peterman's Career Highlights Into 37-Second Hype Video

It’s a question that has plagued all of us for quite some time now: If you put every positive football play Bills starting quarterback Nathan Peterman has ever made into a single video, would the video even be a minute long? We have the answer now....