bo Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Florida Man Sets Self On Fire After Cowboys Loss
Here’s a Florida Man story that’s just, like, a little too on the nose—a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns after setting himself on fire when he lost a bet on Sunday’s Packers-Cowboys game. ...
Lionel Messi Saves Argentina's Ass
Tonight couldn’t have started any worse for Argentina. On the outside looking in at the beginning of the final day of World Cup qualification, they needed a win in Ecuador to at least keep their hopes alive. But within the first minute, the home side delivered a stunning blow, taking a very quick, p...
Thoroughbred Trainer Suspended 18 Months After Horses Test Positive For Boner Pills
A racehorse trainer in California has been suspended for a year and a half and fined $17,500 after two of his horses, named Iancol and Shakeitupbetty, tested positive for the drug sildenafil (also know as by the brand name Viagra) during the 2016 Del Mar summer meeting, according to the Daily Racing...
Jerry Jones Thanks Donald Trump For Telling Him What To Do
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is surprised that all these anthem protests are still happening—for some reason, they didn’t go away after he personally ripped off the cause with a smirk and an empty gesture on national television—so he’s doubling down on his intention of benching any player who “d...
The NFL Quietly Changed Its Obscure Rule About Standing For The National Anthem
Having gotten all the public relations it wanted (even a hackneyed Sports Illustrated cover), NFL leadership is now back to the more familiar demeanor of reminding its players to either get in line or join the unemployment line. Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said Monday that any player who is “d...
The Red Sox And Astros Got Bullpen Crazy In Game 4
This afternoon’s ALDS Game 4 between the Astros and Red Sox was wild and messy, and it’ll be a difficult one to top both in terms of drama and bullpen management....
Jerry Jones Says Any Cowboy Seen "Disrespecting The Flag" Will Not Play
Jerry Jones—the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, the inventor of the bullshit but diabolically ingenious national anthem protest rebranding scheme, and the odds-on favorite to portray Dobby the House Elf’s great-grandfather in any future Harry Potter sequels—is done pretending. No longer does he feel th...
Dutch Soccer Player Somehow Misses Wide-Open Goal
The Harkemase Boys, of Holland’s fourth tier, were up 2-0 when Dennis van Duinen made a beautiful run, shook off a defender, beat the keeper, and faced a completely empty net. With glory a heartbeat away, he doinked the ball right over the crossbar....
Glove-Aided Dinger Helps Red Sox Stave Off Elimination
The Red Sox-Astros series was looking like a real turd heading into Game 3, with the Astros having outscored the Red Sox 16-4 in a pair of lopsided games in Houston. The Red Sox responded Sunday afternoon at Fenway with some overdue offense and managed to push the series to a Game 4....
Mighty Mouse Broke The UFC Title Defense Record With An Otherworldly Move
Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson, the greatest of all time, got more of a fight last night from challenger Ray Borg than many expected. Borg is a gifted wrestler and he worked Mighty Mouse into a few tight spots at times. This is what passes for a close fight right now, since Johnson is a near-perf...
Outdoor Adventurer Thabo Sefolosha Saved A Woman From Drowning
Hey, what’d you do this summer? I built half a porch onto my house, badly, and now have to climb over a construction zone in order to enter my home, with no end in sight. Probably you did something a lot cooler than this. If you’re Thabo Sefolosha, some of what you did this summer is save a woman fr...
Plenty Of Tickets Still Available
No, really, we clicked the link and there are a ton of tickets available. ...
Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests
Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet....
Boat People Vs. Horse People: Who’s Worse?
Today’s DEADCAST brings you a battle of true rich asshole pursuits. It is time to slip on our docksiders and grab a riding crop and ask you, fair reader, who is worse: horse people, or boat people? That is the dilemma of our age, and it is the vital locus of our discussion....
José Altuve Hitting Dingers Is The Best Baseball Has To Offer
At some point, José Altuve’s height should probably no longer be dwelled on, but seven years into his career, it’s still fun as hell to marvel at him being one of the best players in the baseball—and a good-as-hell candidate for the AL MVP—in tandem with his, uh, modest vertical dimensions....
José Altuve Went Dinger-Crazy
Tonight’s Game 1 of the ALDS very quickly revealed itself to be far from ideal for Boston starter Chris Sale. That started with the second batter he faced, Alex Bregman, turning a flat slider into a solo home run and continued with the third batter, José Altuve, turning a high fastball into the same...
Eduardo Nuñez Carried Off Field After Going Down Running To First Base
Red Sox DH Eduardo Nuñez had to be carried off the field by manager John Farrell and a trainer after apparently injuring his leg while beginning to run out a grounder on the first pitch of today’s ALDS Game 1 against the Astros....
Please Stop Taking The Ball Out Of The Goddamn End Zone<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...
The Legendary Baseball Photo That Almost Didn't Come Out Because The Stadium Was Shaking Too Hard
The baseball soared into the early-morning blackness, heading toward the left-field foul pole. Tracking the flight of the ball he’d just hit, Carlton Fisk began to frantically flap his arms in an effort to will it fair. ...
Boxing Manager Melts Down At Press Conference: "I Fuck Your Wife! In Your Bed!"
Chris Eubank Jr. and Avni Yildirim will fight this weekend at 168 pounds, but the best fight of the event took place this morning, when Yildirim’s manager went ballistic. Ahmet Öner got into it with a member of Eubank’s camp and repeatedly yelled at him. He then threatened to fight him, sat down, th...