bo Page 814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....
Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....
Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...
Set The Lower Midwest Aflame: Your 3:00 Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, and Tennessee. If you're flying over these states today, the bonfires will light your way to whatever godless coastal sinhole you've sold your soul to live in. Butler-Murray State; Ohio-Tennessee. Get some....
Cattle Rustlers Wearing Flashy Coats: Georgia Tech-Oklahoma State Open Thread
Oklahoma State has a 1-2 punch in James Anderson and Obi Muonelo, but the team's undersized. Georgia Tech's Derrick Favors and Gani Lawal are said to be "bruisers." They should get that checked out by a doctor....
Canonized Tuscans Want To Play A Jesus Lizard Single: Siena-Purdue Open Thread
Four players averaging double figures, a coach named Fran, and they beat Ohio State last year — Siena's good. Purdue's missing Robbie Hummel, but Chris Kramer has the gumption to become a hated March Madness figure. Don't sleep on them....
Swarthy Wolves Seek To Swarm Yet Another Type Of Bear: Montana-New Mexico
There's a New Mexico? Montana's coach is named Wayne Tinkle. Will Rebecca Rushin make an appearance as a wheeling and dealing small town sheriff causing everyone to bemusedly say "That's so meta?" More short-lived-NBC-comedy-jokes wanted....
Wild Felines Chase After Hoyas: Ohio-Georgetown Open Thread
Can Greg Monroe take over the tournament and continue in the great GT center tradition? Which famous alumnus will get some camera time? Comment here when you're not refreshing Julia Allison's Twitter feed....
Irving To Milk One Last Cash Grab Out Of Texas Stadium
It'll cost fans and demolition aficionados (I call them demolitionados) $25 per vehicle to watch next month's implosion of Texas Stadium. The hole in the roof is so God can watch the implosion for free. That's the saying, right? [AP]...
How Cute, He Throws Just Like A Real Quarterback!
Tim Tebow revealed his new throwing motion today, only five weeks ahead of the draft. If you think that should throw up some red flags for GMs with a first-round pick, well, you don't know NFL GMs....
Seton Hall Fires Bobby Gonzalez, Leader Of Cock-Punchers And Alleged Burglars
Bobby Gonzalez was doomed the moment reporters got his former secretary to bag on him, but if there's a proper day to get canned, it's probably the day after your erstwhile charges engage in some nutpunching and (alleged) burgling....
Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...
Barry Bonds Fan Club Getting A Little Jealous Of McGwire Acceptance
As baseball's prodigal son returns to the St. Louis bench, some in San Francisco are wondering why their own disgraced steroid user wouldn't be welcomed back with open arms....
Never Mind: Pacquiao Concert Canceled
Sorry to have gotten your hopes up. But only 603 of the 8500 tickets available had been sold, so they're calling the whole thing off. [Honolulu Advertiser]...
No Glass Jaw For Pacquiao; Possibly A Tin Ear
The multi-platinum recording artist (and occasional boxer) will perform his first American concert in Hawaii this weekend, and will give away one of his championship belts to a lucky fan. The luckiest fans, however, won't be within earshot. [Honolulu Advertiser]...
Tom Izzo, Steve Mariucci: Young Lovers
These two handsome sonuvabitches knew they had something special: "Said Mariucci: "I swear to God, yes. People thought we were a little bit too close."[DetroitNews via Guyism]...
DePaul Coach Search Reaches New Low
DePaul, basketball head coachless since January 11, has posted the opening on the university's careers website. Can you say, "Quentin Richardson is not walking through that door?" You're qualified. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...
Potential Train Wreck Alert: Mike Tyson Gets Reality Show
Mike Tyson is coming to Animal Planet. Tentatively titled Take on Tyson, the show will "pit Tyson and his birds against the best racing-pigeon owners in New York." Can it possibly top this? [NY Post]...
The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...
Stevie Franchise Attempts To Scratch His Frontal Lobe
This is just dag nasty. But at least the Orlando Magic guard has found an activity to keep him occupied while bench-riding. I love the reaction these guys had while watching the horrifying booger excavation take place....