bo Page 837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

HALLOWEENAROO! Jamboroo, Week 8
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>Monday Morning Quarterback</em>
Today's excerpt comes courtesy of SI writer Peter King's "Monday Morning Quarterback." Read along in the gallery below about Belichick's wizardry, then come back at 1 p.m. for the live chat in the follow-up post. Enjoy....

Waiting In Line For The Sports Guy
ESPN's Bill Simmons brought his "The Book of Basketball" signing tour to annoying East Village bar Professor Thom's last night and our NYC Deadspin operatives waited in line so we wouldn't have to. Bless their little hearts....

Cyclist Gives Surprisingly Plausible Drug Excuse
Belgian Tom Boonen, on his positive test: "I was very drunk. I do not know what happened, but the next day I tested positive for cocaine." [Cyclingnews]...

Tim Wakefield's Wife Is Dog Chow
A judge has sentenced a Boston-area mastiff to death after it bit Stacey Wakefield at an art gallery. Maybe it didn't like playing fetch with a knuckleballer. [Globe]...

Excerpts From The Book The NBA Doesn't Want You To Read
As promised earlier, here are a handful of excerpts from David Stern's favorite book, Blowing the Whistle, by Tim Donaghy....

The Book The NBA Doesn't Want You To Read
We've obtained a copy of Tim Donaghy's book, Blowing the Whistle, which purports to expose the NBA's "culture of fraud" and which Random House was set to publish next month — until, a source says, the league threatened to sue....

Olympic Pothead Is Now High On Civil Service
Ross Rebagliati—everyone's favorite dope smoking Olympic snowboarder—is running for a seat in Canada's parliament. You see, in Canada, election districts are called "ridings" and he probably just got confused because he was so freakin' high. [CTV/Victoria Times]...

The NCAA Won't Be Lied To (Or, Why To Avoid Deion Sanders)
Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Byrant has been suspended for an entire year, not for breaking rules, but for lying about not breaking rules. Because misleading an NCAA investigator is the worst crime a human can commit....

Smarty Pants Web Mag Goes A Little Laddy With "Baseball's Sexiest Teammates"
Here's a gallery-friendly rundown of baseball's best WAGs by position. For example: your pitching staff for this squad would trot out Ann Margret, Alyssa Milano, and Mamie Van Doren. [Daily Beast]...

Statistical Proof Of Baseball's Strangest Season Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bodenheimer's "Quit Snitchin'" Memo To ESPN Employees Gets Snitched
As noted yesterday, ESPN President George Bodenheimer took up his quill on Friday and expressed "disgust" at company leaks that enable "destructive" and "unwanted" publicity and that could occasion the leaker's "immediate termination." His memo was then leaked to us....

Griese Taco Crack Leads To Explosive Consequences
ESPN/ABC announcer Bob Griese has been suspended from working this week's college football games, after saying on air that Juan Pablo Montoya was missing from NASCAR's leaderboard because he was "out having a taco". Whoo-hoo! Ten-day weekend! [SI/AP]...

Antoine Walker Did Not Manage His Money Well
In 12 years, Antoine Walker made roughly 55 million NBA dollars (after taxes, but not counting endorsement deals.) Yet, he has over $4 million in unpaid debts and faces felony check fraud charges. How the hell did that happen?...

Malcolm Gladwell Demands Bill Simmons Be An NBA GM
Bill Simmons' new doorstop of a book arrives in stores tomorrow. In a canny move, he had Malcolm Gladwell pen the foreword. And what does Fry Guy do in that foreword?...

George Bodenheimer Requests That ESPN Employees Stop Telling The Media Who's Boinking Whom
Last week, prompted by the stories coming out about his company, ESPN President George Bodenheimer posted a memo to the in-house intranet outlining — and strongly reiterating — the rules about talking to the media....

Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....

Is It Time For The "Is Hockey Too Violent" Debate Already? (UPDATE)
In a sport where players and fans prize bonecrushing hits, everyone pretends to be surprised when one of those hits sends someone to the hospital. Let the hand wringing commence....

What's The Deal With The City Of Cleveland And Staph Infections?
Kelly Pavlik, the WBO, WBC and The Ring (I love Naomi Watts) middleweight champion, said that he nearly died from an allergic reaction to a medication prescribed to treat a staph infection....

Bob Griese Adds A Little Spice (Probably Cumin) To Ohio State-Minnesota Broadcast
You guys have been lighting up the tips box reporting how Bob Griese made a completely ignorant statement regarding Juan Pablo Montoya, and given the amount of people stating they heard it, it has to be true....