br Page 586 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Remember When A Duke Alum Wrote This Very Bad Letter To Elton Brand?
Today is a nice day for Duke fans. The Deadspin staff is not unmoved by this, so we thought we might share one of our favorite memories involving a Duke player. ...

Aaron Harang's Eyes Implanted Into Various MLB Players' Faces
Deadspin readers have overwhelmingly demanded to know what it would look like if various major leaguers had pitcher Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. In the interest of service to you, the reader, we present various major leaguers with Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. ...

Conan O'Brien Attempts To Improve UC Irvine's Anteater Mascot
Though we enjoy UC Irvine’s Peter the Anteater, Conan O’Brien believed the mascot could suck less—it can’t even do real pushups since the nose gets in the way—so he went to the school and provided some suggestions for a better one....

Kentucky Breakfast Stout: The Most Important Meal Of The Day
Saturday morning, my wife and I woke up without any particular plan, unless you count the plan to go the art museum, which my wife did in fact count due to the fact that I had agreed to the plan 18 hours earlier, but funny things happen to plans sometimes. So there we were, blissfully plan-free for ...

Joakim Noah Will Always Be There To Shit-Talk LeBron James
One of the most endearing things about Joakim Noah is his continued insistence on just not having it with LeBron James and whatever team James happens to be on. There was the time he called out James for his dancing in the middle of a game, the time he called the Heat “Hollywood as hell,” and there...

Braves Trade Craig Kimbrel And Melvin Upton Jr. To The Padres
The Atlanta Braves have traded closer Craig Kimbrel and outfielder Melvin Upton Jr. to the San Diego Padres, as first reported by FanGraphs’ Kiley McDaniel. ...

Andrew Brandt Has Another Unfunny Twitter Joke
In September we were tipped off to the Twitter account of then-ESPN reporter Andrew Brandt (it isn’t clear where he works now, but he’s popped up at MMQB a lot lately), where he made the same joke about over and over and over and over again. We said he needed to find a new Twitter joke, and it seem...

No One Invited You, Chris Brown
Something kinda weird happened yesterday: A remix of Beyoncé's "Jealous" featuring none other than known garbage man Chris Brown randomly popped up on the internet. It's odd, because Beyoncé would presumably and rightfully never work with C-Breezy. His bland verse offers nothing to the song, and the...

Russian Hockey Brawl Leaves Coach Shirtless And Triumphant
This dude right here—who seems to be feeling pretty good about the fact that he just exited a hockey brawl down a shirt, jacket, and tie—is named Andrei Razin, and he’s the head coach of a hockey team in Russia’s minor league. He ended up this way after scrapping with opposing head coach Alex Zhdahi...

Bone Broth Is Hot Ham Water
Food trends are an easy thing to hate. They immediately conjure up thoughts of "foodie" culture, $6 cupcakes, and the insufferable idiots who invented kale. But some trends are important and genuinely advance the way we eat. Twenty years ago, cheap Mexican food meant Taco Bell, ramen was $.02 wo...

Brad Marchand Slashes Opponent In The Nads
You are allowed to do some pretty violent things to your opponent in the NHL, but one of the things you are not allowed to do is hit them in the coin purse with your stick. You have to pay close attention to the above video, but you can see Brad Marchand doing just that to Jonathan Ericsson. Marcha...

<i>Another</i> Soccer Team Gets Scored On While Celebrating A Goal Of Its Own
Apparently these Macedonian kids didn't learn the lesson from that match in Mozambique last week....

Kelly Olynyk Reports News Of Dougie Hamilton's Broken Ribs
Celtics center and amateur reporter Kelly Olynyk may have unintentionally leaked some news Wednesday night about Bruins defenseman Dougie Hamilton’s injury....

Brazilian Player Red Carded For Flipping Double Bird At Booing Fans
Internacional's Fabrício is sort of like the Brazilian soccer league's Ron Artest, apparently. In his newest display of losing his mind on the pitch, the full back stopped playing in the middle of a game to shout at fans for booing him, then waved two middle fingers at his verbal assailants before t...

The Knicks Were Sadder Than Usual Last Night
The Knicks fell to the Nets, 100-98. I hope you didn’t watch, because the destination sure as hell wasn’t worth the journey. The Knicks are 47 games under .500, while the Nets are 34-40 and in playoff position. (The East is unwatchable.) ...

Rex Chapman To Call Kentucky Game; Prosecutors Decline Theft Charges
The last time you saw Rex Chapman probably was in this surveillance camera footage from September, showing the former NBA shooting guard taking things off the shelves of a Scottsdale (Ariz.) Apple store. Police said Chapman never paid for those items; instead they said he sold the more than $14,000 ...

David Blatt Just Stands There Like A Buster And Parrots LeBron's Calls
ESPN NBA writer Brian Windhorst, who is as connected to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers as any reporter can be, was a guest on Bill Simmons's latest podcast, and he dropped some juicy stuff about the various melodramas that have been hanging over the team all season. The whole thing is wo...

A Great Pale Ale From A Shady, Pale State
I ran into an old friend Sunday afternoon, and he asked what I had planned for this Wednesday. I had no ready answer, of course, because what kind of a monster has anything particular planned for a Wednesday? I suppose if I'd thought it through for a few minutes I could have projected that as the da...

Brek Shea Pounds A Free Kick Into The Top Corner To Give USMNT Lead
Ooooh, there's that boy Brek Shea! Maybe he did learn something on those cold, rainy Wednesday nights with Stoke's U21 team, after all!...

WrestleMania Was Ridiculous And Amazing
Welcome to Deadspin’s irregular pro wrestling column, in which Tom Breihan and Ernest Wilkins will comb through the past month of superkicks, lariats, and 450 splashes in search of the greatest things that this most American of artforms has given us. ...