br Page 609 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gronk Ruins Sergio Brown's Life, Takes Penalty
Rob Gronkowski does not like Sergio Brown, even though the Colts safety used to play for New England. Back in 2012, Brown was the one who caused Gronkowski to break his arm on a point-after attempt. (Gronkowski shouldn't have been in the game that late anyway, but he's not going to be mad at his own...

Police: Drunk Nebraska Fan Tried To Jump Over Taxi, Failed
The Madison police report beautifully sums up the early Saturday morning of 22-year-old Huskers fan Bryce Consbruck:...

The Broncos Had Themselves A Really Bad Day
The following things happened to the Denver Broncos today:...

This Is The Face Of The Factory Of Sadness
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Emmanuel Sanders Leaves Game After Brutal Hit From Rodney McLeod
Broncos receiver Emmanuel Sanders is being evaluated for a concussion after taking this extremely violent hit from the Rams' Rodney McLeod....

CBS Praises Browns For No Turnovers; Browns Immediately Turn Ball Over
The Cleveland Browns have been rock-solid at holding onto the ball lately, and CBS decided to call attention to the fact that they'd gone 99 straight red-zone drives without a giveaway. That's the longest active streak in the NFL, or at least it would be if they hadn't immediately turned the ball ...

UFC Card Features Gruesome Exploding Ear, Dude Maybe Shitting Himself
Leslie Smith fought on the prelims of tonight's UFC card in Mexico, and she is inhumanly tough. After a shot from contender Jessica Eye came damn close to entirely shearing her ear off, referee Herb Dean immediately called in the ringside doctors, who called the fight off only to be met with vigorou...

Melvin Gordon Tramples Nebraska For Single Game FBS Rushing Record
Melvin Gordon only played three quarters today, because his Wisconsin Badgers no longer needed him when they went up 52-17 over Nebraska. But that's okay, because in that three-fourths of a game, Melvin Gordon broke LaDainian Tomlinson's all-time FBS single game rushing record with 408 ground yards....

Wladimir Klitschko Retains Heavyweight Belt With 5th-Round Pulev KO
Wladimir Klitschko's eight-year reign as the world heavyweight champion will continue after making easy work of previously-undefeated Kubrat Pulev in Hamburg tonight, winning with a fifth-round knockout....

Records Show Cop Visits To Dez Bryant's Home Were Mostly Nothingburgers
On Sunday, NFL.com's Ian Rapoport reported that the Cowboys had some "concerns" over Dez Bryant's off-the-field behavior, and he cited a handful of times the cops were called to Bryant's house. Surely the team's airing of these concerns had nothing at all to do with the fact that the star wide recei...

LeBron And The $500M Lie: How Sports Economic-Impact Studies Trick You
Not long after LeBron James announced his return to the Cleveland Cavaliers, the business pages lit up with breathless announcements about what LeBron would mean for the local economy:...

Chelsea And Spain Are Locked In A Dumb War Neither Can Win
Even by the standards of dick-measuring contests, the one ongoing between Chelsea and the Spanish national team has been awful for months. At some point, though, this sort of thing stops being merely dumb and threatens to become actually harmful to the players each side should be trying to protect—a...

Bruins Go Down 1-0 In First Period; Young Fan Loses All Sense Of Chill
This kid is apparently six years old, and that is an unsettling piece of information given the fact that he sounds like a nine-week-old baby when he gets upset. Anyway, he's mad because he's just watched his beloved Bruins go down 1-0 to the Leafs in the first period. ...

Coca-Cola Supports Slavery
Someone should do something about the human rights catastrophe that is the 2022 World Cup! Qatari authorities, for example, are reportedly using North Korean slave labor to build infrastructure in preparation for the event. If only someone would put enough pressure on them, maybe they would not use ...

Kobe And The Lakers Do Dumb Shit; Anthony Davis Dismisses Them
The ridiculous, bad-basketball-playin'-ass Lakers lost again last night, 109-102 in New Orleans, to fall to 1-7. Basically, they performed how you might expect them to on the second night of a road back-to-back: they won the first quarter with some fluky hot shooting, then sagged badly in the middl...

LeBron James's Silly Baby Wouldn't Go To Sleep Last Night
LeBron James's daughter was born in October, and that means LeBron has to be on early morning baby duty when he's at home, just like every other poor schmuck in America who has a baby....

How To Dumbfound Two Defenders With One Dribble, By Brazil's Willian
You see this little move right here, where Willian drags the ball one way with the outside of his boot, before that lightning-quick flick of the foot in the other direction, nudging the ball in the opposite direction of where he was moving while completely freezing the two Turkish defenders? Yeah,...

All Hail Kobe Bryant And The Lakers, Lords Of Madness
First things first: You don't get to miss more shots than anybody else in NBA history by being bad at basketball. That record would be Larry Hughes's if he didn't, y'know, suck at everything, and in this sense, the all-time missed-shots record is a perverse monument to Kobe Bryant's greatness. He ...

The Troll Who Owns Nets.com Is A 69-Year-Old Woman In Santa Fe
The identity of the person who owns Nets.com has long been sought after, as many people have wanted to know who exactly is using the domain name to troll Mikhail Prokhorov and the Brooklyn Nets. (Go to Nets.com right now and you'll be redirected to an eBay listing for the domain name that features a...

Why Can't Richie Incognito Get A Job?
After working out for Broncos on Monday, Richie Incognito will have to keep looking. Denver, despite having a desperately thin offensive line, has decided to pass—for now—on signing the controversial-but-talented guard, who hasn't played in the NFL in over a year....