br Page 629 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>They Came Together</em>: The Second-Best Romantic Comedy Spoof Ever
I'm just a guy, sitting in front of a screen, asking it to make me laugh at beautiful, awkward, charming people who are falling in love. The romantic comedy can be a fine way to burn two hours, but it's a silly genre at heart, with its contrived meet-cutes and drawn-out misunderstandings, and also...
Punch-Throwing Skipper Jack McDowell Livens Up Minor League Brawl
The Ogden Raptors and Idaho Falls Chukars, two minor league baseball teams that likely mean nothing to you, went 16 innings last night, but the best part was a bench-clearing brawl in the tenth. Even the managers got into it—including a former AL Cy Young winner....
The Twins Have Apparently Found The Real-Life Sidd Finch
One of the weirdest baseball stories of the year is about Brandon Poulson, a 24-year-old pitching prospect whom the Twins just plucked from the void for the price of $250,000. Nobody's ever heard of Poulson until now, but if the early stories about him are to be believed, he's basically the non-ho...
There Is No Explanation For Blowing This Call
This was a trapped ball. It was pretty clear, and indisputably so on replay. Yet umpires upheld their initial ruling of a catch, even after Ron Gardenhire's challenge. My headline up there isn't some huffy hyperbole on just how baffling the call was—it's about how umpires literally didn't give an ...
Robbie Lawler Returned From Oblivion To Impose His Will On The World
Sometime shortly after Robbie Lawler started hitting Matt Brown unreasonably hard in San Jose, Calif. Saturday night, a low rumble shook my apartment. It felt and sounded strangely like—and turned out actually to be—fireworks. This was silly, entirely too literal, but given that the fight featured L...
"Bad British Commentary" Is The Best Way To Watch NASCAR
To be fair, this is also the only way I've watched NASCAR in the last few years. And no, these videos have not yet gotten old. ...
NCAA Head Injury Lawsuit Settled With $70 Million Brain Evaluation Fund
The NCAA has settled a class-action lawsuit by agreeing to set up a $70 million fund to evaluate current and former NCAA athletes in a variety of contact sports for brain trauma. Unlike the NFL's maligned but needed settlement that's still evolving, this seems at first blush like an OK deal for NCAA...
Melky Cabrera's HR Broke A Car Windshield Across The Street From Fenway
Toronto's 14-1 win over Boston was an all-out pummeling, punctuated by Melky Cabrera's second home run on the night, a three-run shot in the nine-run sixth inning. Cabrera's shot to left-center, officially tracked at a disappointing 410 feet, completely cleared the stadium and cracked a car windsh...
John Abraham Quietly Got Himself A DUI Charge Last Month
Linebacker John Abraham, coming off a Pro Bowl season in Arizona, hasn't yet reported to Cardinals training camp. The team says it's a personal matter. It may or may not have to do with housekeeping for a DUI arrest Abraham racked up in June, and which he managed to keep quiet until now....
Brett Gardner Only Hits Home Runs Against Yu Darvish
Until Brett Gardner's seventh-inning single off Darvish, that headline was actually not hyperbole; it was fact. He had four career hits in 10 at-bats against Darvish, all home runs....
Adorable Kid Hugs His Dad For Catching A Foul Ball
Here we have a brief moment from this afternoon's Padres-Braves game and, god damn, is it ever the cutest. Dad and son take in an afternoon ballgame when all of sudden, a foul ball comes their way. Triumphant dad displays the ball he has just snagged, his son echoes that triumph for exactly one se...
Peyton Manning Dances Up A Dorky Storm
I'm not going to apologize for the autoplay video, because come on, you were going to break the sound barrier reaching to click play. I will apologize that it doesn't automatically loop, forever. Sorry about that. Just hit the button and Peyton Manning (and Wes Welker) will dance for you again, fore...
Andrelton Simmons Makes Yet Another Impossible Play
Andrelton Simmons put another entry in his ridiculous, ever-growing defensive highlight reel with this slick bare-handed play during today's game against the Padres. ...
Small Child Runs With Kenyans, Falls Spectacularly
On Sunday at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, Scotland, one young fan wanted to Experience The Kenyans. And he did it! He was flying with some of the best runners in the world! Then gravity took over, crushing his dreams and skinning his hands. Fuck you, gravity, you dream-crushing hand-skinner. ...
Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s Mom Admires Son's Ability To Work With "Shit Car"
This is a touching conversation between mother and son. Dale Jr. came in ninth today at the Brickyard 400 in Indianapolis and his mother saw a little bit of the old man in his performance. ...
Dodgers And Diamondbacks AAA Teams In Sprawling, Benches-Clearing Brawl
Tempers flared in the second inning with the first pitch of the at bat between Reno Aces (AZ) pitcher Mike Bolsinger and Albuquerque Isotopes (LA) shortstop Erisbel Arruebarrena. Bolsinger threw up and in and Arruebarrena had to duck out of the way, as the pitch hit his bat for a foul ball. Arrueb...
Instagram User Thrilled By Brian McCann Home Run Leaves X-Rated Comment
Seriously, Antoniocaquias, that is no way to behave on a public forum....
Cleveland Browns "Stunned" Johnny Manziel Likes To Party
Hey, The Browns? Can we chat for a second? Great. So, this isn't, like, a huge deal or anything, but I'm just a little concerned about you guys. I think we're all concerned about you guys. We're not trying to gang up on you or anything, it's just, some of the things we've been reading about you are ...
Master Troll Painter Sneaks Tom Brady Into Poster Of New York Heroes
So yesterday, an old editor emailed me with the above photo and funny story. The MTA, New York City's subway and bus system, is selling a new poster for Brooklyn's Grand Army Plaza, a location that serves both as a subway station and the entrance to New York's iconic Prospect Park. The MTA commissio...
Denver Sports Anchor Can't Help But Notice All This Alzheimer's
Here's 9NEWS Denver's Drew Soicher with maybe not the best lead-in to today's sports report: an Alzheimer's joke....