br Page 657 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mets Pitcher Jenrry Mejia Has Just <em>Had It</em> With This Stupid-Ass Sport
Stupid Justin Upton! Stupid glove! Stupid baseball!...
The Time Brendan Shanahan Beat Up Some Obnoxious Yankees Fans
The Maple Leafs officially announced the hire of Brendan Shanahan as team president today, so it seems like a good time to dig up this old story of a younger, wilder Shanahan, beating the shit out of some Yankee Stadium bleacher creatures....
Jose Abreu And Danny Salazar Make Meaningless Game Something Special
If you're the kind of person who lacks the requisite attention span to sit through all nine innings of a baseball game, last night's game between the White Sox and Indians was perfect for you. You only needed to stick around for five innings of baseball in order to catch all of the awesomeness packe...
Name Of The Year 2014 Final: Shamus Beaglehole Vs. Chillie Poon
This is it. This is the showdown we've waited an entire year for (OK, more like five months). In one corner, we have Shamus Beaglehole: English footballer, #3 seed of the Sithole Regional, vanquisher of Curvaceous Bass and Dr. Loki Skylizard, and bearer of a last name that sounds like an old man's c...
Andrelton Simmons Makes Impossible Throw Look Easy
Andrelton Simmons's defense is one of the is one of the very best things baseball has going for it right now. Last night, the Atlanta Braves shortstop made a play that will break your brain. ...
What UConn's Breanna Stewart Means To Women's Basketball
Last night, sophomore forward Breanna Stewart led her UConn Huskies to their second-straight NCAA title and ninth overall. Her stat line offered a little of everything: 21 points, nine rebounds, four assists, two blocks. "The first Durantesque player in the women's game," her coach, Geno Auriemma, c...
Bitchy Pats Fans Harass Brandon Spikes After He Talks About Winning
Linebacker Brandon Spikes left the Patriots after four seasons to sign with the Buffalo Bills. New England didn't seem to want him back, and the parting seemed amicable. But that won't stop some Patriots fans from overreacting when Spikes talked about beating the Patriots today in the most boring wa...
No, It's Not Just You: LeBron Really Has Been Bad On Defense
Tom Haberstroh has a post over on ESPN Insider going over the uses of ESPN's new stat, Real Plus-Minus, and how it bears out on things like the MVP race. Tucked inside are a few telling statistical bits about LeBron's defense this season. So we thought, why not go ahead and take a dive into the rest...
The Braves Set The American Flag On Fire At Their Home Opener
The Braves really fucked up, you guys. During yesterday's home opener against the Mets, they set off a fireworks display way, way too close to the American flag. You are not supposed to put flames that close to the American flag, Braves!...
Jose Abreu Makes His Big-League Splash With Two Homers
It didn't take long for Yasiel Puig and Yoenis Cespedes to go from being Cuban defectors shrouded in mystery to household names. Based on what he did last night, it looks like White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu, the latest Cuban-born star to arrive in the majors, is on a similar path to stardom....
Mason Plumlee Stuffs LeBron On Buzzer-Beating Dunk Attempt
The Brooklyn Nets shocked Miami tonight and beat the Heat 88-87 thanks to LeBron James failing to get a buzzer-beating dunk attempt past the massive paw of Mason Plumlee. Here's the play in extreme slow motion:...
Ryan Braun Homers Three Times To Heavy Boos And "Cheater!" In Philly
Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun showed off his power today in a 10-4 win over the Phillies, bashing three home runs to a Philadelphia crowd who reminded him of his suspension for banned substances last season. Seriously, they were not having any of it....
Pitbull And J. Lo Team Up For The Official 2014 World Cup Anthem
Here it is, the song that you are going to be so damn sick and tired of hearing by the time the 2014 World Cup is over. Wrap your ears around Pitbull and J. Lo's "We Are One (Ole Ola)."...
2014 Name Of The Year: The Final Four
We're nearing the summit of this year's tourney, and the venerable spirits of Assumption Bulltron, Godfrey Sithole, Crescent Dragonwagon, and Doby Chrotchtangle have each found favor with a champion. These four, this exalted 16th of the starting field, are all that remain as our competition enters i...
All Hail The Bitchiest Of Bitchy Fanboys
All precincts have now reported and we can, at long last, crown a champion in our Bitchy Bracket tournament. Despite a strong tourney run, the anti-vaccination wingnuts fell yesterday to the overwhelming defensiveness of conservative Christians. Please note that I included many liberal factions in...
Brazilian Soccer Match Devolves Into Flying-Kickpalooza
This is just a brief clip of a game played in Brazil on Sunday. There are approximately 157 attempted flying kicks....
A Lot Of People Made Money Betting Against Undertaker At WrestleMania
The Undertaker's 21-match unbeaten streak at WrestleMania is no more, after a surprise loss to Brock Lesnar last night. Fans were in shock, but no one was happier than those bettors who put money on Lesnar when he was a huge underdog....