br Page 872 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of The Knockout Of The Year Getting Delivered In Atlantic City Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Come To Think Of It, LeBron Is Exactly Like Hitler And/Or Stalin
Here's to you CultureMap Houston Assistant Editor Caroline Gallay for recognizing that LeBron James winning Time's Man of the Year Award award would totally be like giving it to a genocidal Nazi or cult-of-personality-creating Russian dictator. Cute hat, though....

Beware Of Ohio State's "Brutus" Lurking At Gas Stations And Thad Matta's Exclamation Points
This haunting image comes courtesy of a reader named Andrew who sent this in with the creepy message "As always," most likely moments before he was dragged from the car and disemboweled in the parking lot....

Colt Brennan Involved In Head-On Car Crash
Brennan was a passenger in a car that reportedly crossed into oncoming traffic. The other vehicle flipped; Brennan is being treated for possible head and back injuries, and is listed in serious condition. [Star-Advertiser]...

Please Help Us Track Down Lisa Ripi, The "Jets' Muscle" In The Favre Massage Incident
Lisa Ripi is a personal trainer/acupuncturist who works, or worked, for the New York Jets. According to sources, she oversaw the massage therapists at Jets camp in 2008. She knew about Favre's texts, we're told, and urged the therapists to do nothing....

Brian St. Pierre Is Back In Our Lives!
Matt Moore's injured. Jimmy Clausen's injured. Rather than go with third-string rookie Tony Pike, the Panthers have tapped the immortal Brian St. Pierre, the pride of Boston College....

It's Not A Professional Sporting Event In Florida If Two Fans Aren't Punching Each Other On Camera
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

One "Worst Player In NFL History" Is Volcanically Pissed About Being A "Worst Player In NFL History"
Jeff Pearlman's massive list of football putridity has provoked an emotional reaction from Detroit Lions' safety, C.C. Brown, who was selected as the 90th worst player. He was not pleased with his ranking. In fact, he went completely berserk. ....

Brett Favre's Dong-Phone Number, Jenn Sterger Legal Updates, And Other Things Of Note
It's been relatively quiet on the sexting front, but there's some movement afoot that suggests the end to this saga is just beyond the phallus-shaped horizon....

Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Eva Longoria Divorces Tony Parker Over Affair With Brent Barry's Wife, Reports Guy From <em>Saved By The Bell</em> And Other Journalists
So Longoria split from Tony Parker, and there are rumors of a fling with a teammate's wife. We're confident running with this, because it's being reported by some of the top names in sports media....

The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun
This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...

Adam Dunn Close To Accepting Birthright As DH
Adam Dunn's about to hit a lot of doubles. The Rays might be hoarding Uptons. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand back, because this is one HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

So, A Drunk Clevelander Laid Out A Small Child For Being A Jets Fan
You can stop emailing us about the 8-year-old who got tackled at the Browns game for wearing a Jets jersey. Our official stance is this: if you don't want your child to get beaten up everywhere they go, don't let them root for the Jets. Simple....

Bay Area Denny's Serves Up Halloween Brawl
As funny as it is to see a "skeleton" get pelted with a chair, this is the third such incident we've seen at a Bay Area chain-dining establishment. It's officially a trend....

With One Tired Sitcom Punchline, We Lose All Our Sympathy For Cleveland
Yesterday, How I Met Your Mother featured a LeBron James joke. It wasn't like the LeBron James jokes we've seen elsewhere on TV because it was just lazy as all hell and made me realize how tired I am of Cleveland's martyrdom....

Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football
Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college....

Giants Stadium Loses Power, Fans Quickly Resort To Violence
Usually at the Meadowlands, everybody's really friendly. That was not the case yesterday when a blown transformer caused a power outage in the new stadium. The fans reacted by very calmly, very assuredly, beating the crap out of each other....

Heat Strokes, Game 10: Miami Teaches Its Pitiful Fans How To Cheer
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....