br Page 919 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Network Apologizes For Terrible Motherf@*^ing Mistake
The NFL Network takes you inside the game like no other broadcast entity can. Who else could get a shot of Josh McDaniels swearing at offensive lineman on the sideline, then broadcast it live and completely unedited? Absolutely no one....

An Angry Message For The Sports Fella, From The Star Of TV's <em>Brooklyn Bridge</em>
Not long ago, Knicks fan Danny Lanzetta, the child lead in one of those pleasant 1990s-era CBS shows, sent Bill Simmons an e-mail debunking his Ewing Theory. Simmons ignored him. So Danny did the next best thing: He e-mailed us....

Spartans Get Early Jump On Off-Season Distractions
Several Michigan State football players may have participated in a ski-mask wearing, face-punching group attack on a campus residence hall. I only have one question: Does this count against involuntary practice limits? [The State News]...

Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....

Matthew Stafford Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers....

Cleveland's Economy Is Based On LeBron James
Cleveland has rejected a proposed 10-story mural of LeBron, because the Nike logo would constitute advertising. Instead, they'll keep the current 10-story mural of LeBron with a Nike logo. [Plain Dealer]...

Canadian Dads Are Sick Of How Much Their Hockey-Playing Daughters Stink
Canadian fathers, already emasculated by their daughters being better hockey players than they ever were, have directed their misplaced aggression at the noxious fumes emanating from their little princesses' hockey gear....

This Is Exactly Why Only Goons Should Be Allowed To Fight
Sweet sassy molassey was this an ugly fight. Flyers center Danny Briere makes it abundantly clear why he has only been credited with two fights during his career with yesterday's atrocious "brawl" with Marc-Edouard Vlasic of the San Jose Sharks....

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

This Is Why Anaheim Hockey Fans Can't Have Nice Things
Anaheim's Scott Niedermayer offered his stick to a fan after he won star of the game. Unfortunately, it sparked a melee between two gentlemen and a blond woman as a helpless Niedermayer looked on from the ice. [Puck Daddy/HTA.SanFillippo]...

Iraqis Now Using Favre-Based Warfare
Iraqi militants have resorted to the lowest sort of psychological tactics in an attempt to break down our soldiers: bringing up Brett Favre....

OSU Students Wallow In Their Own Urine
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...

Last Night's Winner: Josh Pastner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Memphis coach Josh Pastner, who didn't even win! Don't think that won't stop him from becoming college basketball's new golden boy....

Hey Dude In The Back...What Number Is Kansas Ranked?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Mina Brees' Death Ruled A Suicide
Drew Brees' mother died three months ago at the home of a friend in northern Colorado. A coroner now says she killed herself by ingesting "a large quantity of prescription medications." [Austin American-Statesman]...

Browns Fans Know Understatement
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick....

The TD Stands for Touchdown
The ex-CEO of TD Ameritrade wants to be a D1 football coach. I don't think any SEC coaches are willing to switch jobs with him, as being a Fortune 500 CEO would mean a pay cut for them. [Omaha World-Herald]...

To Be Fair, I'd Like To See How Your Team Does Without A Quarterback
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....