br Page 919 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Girls Soccer Is Now The Ultimate Combat Sport
You thought New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert was tough? Wait until you see the next generation of female soccer hooligans who will take over America with their very unladylike football skills....

Jenn Sterger Says Goodbye To Some Old Friends
"In an effort to reinvent myself, in a cut throat industry that was becoming more and more competitive the deeper I swam, I made the decision to go against the grain and remove my implants." Courage, America. Courage. [Officially...Jenn]...

Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...

What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....

Okay, I'll Be The One To Say It...This Is Hot
BYU and New Mexico had one of the only the chippiest women's soccer games you'll ever see....

Forget Strength Of Schedule; Look At This Snazzy Press Release!
The WAC hired a PR firm to convince voters than an undefeated Broncos team would be deserving of a BCS bowl. Okay, but I'm not going on a junket to Boise. [ESPN via Midwest Sports Fans]...

The Greatest Thing You'll Watch All Day: Tyler Hansbrough's Acting Class
The incomparable J.E. Skeets, Esq. provides us with a glimpse into how Psycho T honed his acting chops before his car wow-filled commercial debut. [BasketballJones]...

Cheap Shots? That's Just The Way Georgia and Florida Play Football
There's been a lot of debate about Brandon Spikes' cat scratch fever on Washaun Ealey, but there's one point on which everyone seems to agree. Both Georgia and Florida play extremely dirty football and that's the way they like it....

No One Cares About A F*cking Live Press Conference
The Vikings beat the Packers at Lambeau Field yesterday. But did you know there were other NFL games played on that day? No, I swear. It's true!...

Brandon Spikes Will Blind You If He Has To (Update)
If Georgia's Washaun Ealey didn't want his eyes gouged out by Florida's Brandon Spikes, then maybe he shouldn't have worn a helmet that allows for pesky weaknesses like "vision."...

Tackler Has Great Form, Terrible Uniform Recognition
The semi-pro Las Vegas Cobras claim to "provide our players the ability to fine-tune their skills for advancement to the next level." Lesson number one: stop tackling your teammates....

Just What I Was Thinking; This Game Needs More Favre
Because you, the consumer, demanded it, FOX has a dedicated camera trained solely on Brett Favre (reader David demonstrates). Try to keep it in your pants. [Brett Favre cam]...

In Which A Man Sends Death Threats To A Horse
A week ahead of Conduit's big Breeders Cup Turf race, a man has been charged for threatening to kill the colt. If you had Conduit and Jack Woltz's horse Khartoum in the death exacta, good luck. [Horse And Hound]...

Jenn Brown's Halloween Costume Just Made Me Commit A Personal Foul In My Pants
Jenn Brown is making it known that she is an up-and-comer in the Hottie Sports Reporter Pantheon. I haven't been this excited about black and white stripes since I ran into the Hamburglar at a McDonald's in Jersey. [Busted Coverage]...

Matt D'Agostini Got Knocked The Fuggout
Chicago Blackhawks Andrew Ladd absolutely leveled Montreal Canadiens right winger Matt D'Agostini early in last night's 3-2 Chicago victory. More talk about head shots! Whee!...

Brad Childress Is No Elaine Dickinson, That's For Sure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Send Us Your Lame Sports-O-Ween Costumes
Tomorrow is All Hallows' Eve and you may be tempted to put on a sport-themed costume in an effort to win candy and prizes. You should seriously rethink that strategy. Sorry, but there can only be one Baby Mangino....

Messing With Our Heads: A Former Player's Lament
With the brains of football players now a matter of national concern, writer Michael Oriard, a former Chiefs offensive lineman and a cultural historian, worries about both his own fate and the NFL's....

Thread Color On Running Shorts Is The Most Important Sporting Issue Of Our Age
I don't know if any post I've written for this site has generated more public feedback than the controversial tale of the disqualified runner with white thread in his shorts. You people really care about high school cross country....