br Page 931 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brees On Gitmo: "The Worst Thing We Can Do Is Shut That Baby Down"
Super Bowl winning quarterbacks go to Disney World, while an all-around good guy like Drew Brees scores an all-expenses-paid trip to Guantanamo Bay. Sounds dreamy, right? According to Brees, Gitmo ain't so bad....
World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...
Of All The Horrible Moves The NHL Has Made, This Is...Maybe Not Even Top 10
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....
Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....
Brett Favre Wants To Let You Know Just How Much He’s Suffered
As usual, King swoops in on the story after all the important details have past, and allows Favre his little soapbox to wallow in self-pity and general shitheadery. Let's hit the first paragraph....
Bears Fans In China Delight In Favrefreude
Fake malls in China sell everything, from pearls of all sorts to No. 4 Vikings jerseys for $16. Oh, those poor diehards in Shanghai, new owners of some high-quality threads. They're in for quite the surprise.(PHOTO: Adam Minter) [MinnPost]...
Drew Brees' Crazy Mom Moves Up To Extortion
For the record, Saints QB Drew Brees still has a "nonexistent" relationship with his mother, so he probably didn't sign off on her recent plan to dupe Texas restaurants into paying her for the name of their own business....
Some Wishful Thinking At The Dotcom Tonight
Favre passes? First Jim Johnson, now this? O cruel football gods! Wait, it's just a terrible headline? And Brett's alive, but definitely still retired? Thank you, football gods! [H/T reader Seth]...
College Recruiting About To Get A Lot More Complicated
Forget the fact that it's James Madison University vs. Marist. A dispute over a departed coach bringing previously recruited players to his new school has led to one of the oddest lawsuits in college sports....
FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...
Even LeBron's High School Keepsakes Are Worth A Fortune
Every high school phenom has a scrapbook of yellowing newspaper clips in his attic, readily available for reminiscing about the glory days. It's unusual, though, for someone else to collect those mementos and sell them for $250,000 on eBay....
Aaron Ward Jinxes Himself Out Of Winter Classic
On July 16, Boston's Aaron Ward was asked about his team getting to play in the Winter Classic. His response: "Don't jinx me yet. I could always be traded." Nine days later, he was traded to Carolina. [National Post/CBC/Bruins Blog]...
Christine Brennan Continues Her Erin Andrews Smarm Offensive
USA Today's Christine Brennan went on Howard Kurtz's unctuous TV show yesterday and explained away her underminey Erin Andrews comments, emphasizing that she has "always been concerned about Erin" and somehow outstripping all her male colleagues in patrician superciliousness....
Talk About Hope And Change In D.C.
There are people who care about reforming the Bowl Championship Series, and there are people who go homeless to reform the Bowl Championship Series. Guess which category Brandon Kennedy, author of "The Kennedy Proposal," belongs to....
And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....
Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Miller Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Milwaukee Brewers' Miller Park....