br Page 932 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Romo And Jessica Simpson Reportedly Split For 98th Time
Until I see visual evidence of the Cowboys quarterback slurping blue cake out of another woman's mouth, I refuse to believe it. But People says they're officially kaput and Romo's getting his Goose on at nightclubs. [People.com]...

Dana White Promises Scary Russian Man Will Be Next To Fight Brock Lesnar
Messy contractual things have to be finalized but White is determined to have Fedor Emelianenko step in the cage with the angry ex-professional wrestler and controversial UFC heavyweight champion. Emelianenko has disposed of much bigger men before. [Cage Writer]...

Kobe Bryant Bravely Declares He Will Not Be Dunked On By His 14-Year-Old Campers
Remember that it was Kobe who alerted Dwyane Wade to the dunk and who encouraged him to "give [LeBron] stuff about this." And now here, via The Baseline, is video of Kobe at his own camp, saying:...

New Zealand Athlete Needs Escort To The Olympics
Logan Campbell, a taekwando fighter from New Zealand, needs money to fund his bid for the 2012 Olympics, because $NZ300,000 is a lot of money, currency calculator reveals. Campbell's plan? Open a brothel. But of course!...

Zambrano Pitches, Hits, Uses Inverted Pyramid
The Cubs have to be one of the most disappointing teams in the National League. It was nice for Carlos Zambrano to do, well, everything in the game today....

We Were Wrong. He Can Go Lower
Jose Canseco didn't fare so well against a real fighter. Now he'll try his luck boxing Bill "El Wingador" Simmons. That's not a nickname for the Sports Fella, it's a guy who eats for a living.[Celebrity Boxing Federation]...

The "Free LeBron James Getting Posterized" Movement Gathers Steam
We all want to see the footage of LeBron getting dunked on, but Nike squirreled away the tapes in its secret underground Portland vault, and all we do is bitch. But the Internet's premier trolls actually did something about it....

Teammate Is Totally Undermining Lance Armstrong
Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP]...

Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....

Best of the Brissed: The First and Last Deadspin Maccabiah Games Preview
Named after the Maccabee family, who vanquished the Greeks despite 6-1 odds and stingy handicapping; the Maccabiah Games bring together 7,000 of the world's best Jewish athletes to satisfy their insatiable lust for gold. Whoa. That came out wrong....

From Your Very Special Guest Editor
Last time I wrote on this page, it was with unbridled cautious optimism for Trent Edwards and the 2008 Buffalo Bills. Was I wrong? Yes and no. Well, actually, just yes....

Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A <em>Moneyball</em> Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this....

Here's Erin Andrews Getting Angry At Someone For Pulling On Her Cords (ALSO NOT A EUPHEMISM)
This is quite a sustained grouchy face. This is also the last footage of America's Sideline Princess with her chin still intact. [YouTube]...

ERIN ANDREWS HIT BY FOUL BALL GOES TO HOSPITAL WITH CHIN BRUISE (NOT A EUPHEMISM) BUT SHE'S OKAY (UPDATE!)
Gentlemen, brace yourselves: From TMZ: "Andrews — who serves as a sideline reporter for ESPN — was struck in the chin by a foul ball hit by New York Mets player Alex Cora during the 4th inning."...

Swoosh Denies LBJ Dunk Cover-Up, Unconvincingly
The flash, apparently official: Nike is now making the implausible case that the two hapless videographers at the LeBron James Skills Academy had flouted a longstanding, super-inviolate "no videotaping" commandment and therefore had to be frisked....

Russell Branyan's Power Loogie Deserves A Star
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Dunk Was "As Good As It Could've Been Hyped Up To Be"
Ryan Miller, the would-be Zapruder whose video of LeBron getting Tom Chambered was commandeered by a Nike goon, has offered a few more details about the incident. Namely: The dunk was awesome, and Bron-Bron was kind of a prick....

All You Can Eat, With A Side Order Of Cardiac Disease
One $34 ticket to a Twins game gets you a bleacher seat and free food — everything but beer and ice cream sundaes —so fans are loading up for their sleep-induced hibernation until Brett Favre arrives. [AP]...

Young Cubs Fan Mocks Ryan Dempster's Pain
This young fan in blue has thoroughly enjoyed Ryan Dempster's comical fall over a dugout railing, not realizing that the pitcher has just fractured his big toe and will spend a month on the DL. Go Cubbies!...

Are The Pacers Too White ... Or Not White Enough?
In the time-honored tradition of raising a controversial proposition for the express purpose of shooting it down, Indy Star stalwart Bob Kravitz asks, "Why are the Indiana Pacers so lily white?"...