br Page 958 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Have An Opening Bid In The Manny Auction
The Dodgers have an offer on the table to keep Manny Ramirez, but is it just for show? We'd know better if we knew what it was, but GM Ned Colleti isn't talking. Speculation is that it's "either two years for $50 million or three years for $75 million," according to the Los Angeles Times. That's les...
Drunken Redneck Browns Fan Ushers In Brady Quinn Era
These videos were taken last season, when this anonymous Browns fan — we'll call him Doyle, because he reminds me of the Dwight Yoakum stepfather character in Sling Blade — was quite comfortable with the way things were playing out in his world. But as Busted Coverage points out, now "there's a b...
Brandon Marshall Would Like to Get a Few Things Off His Chest
The Miami Dolphins walloped the Denver Broncos this past Sunday 27-16 and leading the post-game victory gloating was, of course, linebacker Joey Porter. After the victory, the nine-year veteran called Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall "soft" and said the Dolphins defense "got into his head", re...
Hello Cleveland! Brady Quinn Is Ready To Kick Butt and Make Fellatio Gestures on a Jet Ski
After yesterday's extraordinary news that the Brady Quinn era begins in Cleveland Thursday night, let's see what the rest of the sports blogosphere has to say about his long-awaited coming out party. Oh, and Browns coach Romeo Crennel wants everyone to know that this last minute decision wasn't at a...
Cleveland Browns Fans Can Finally Say That This Man Is Their Quarterback
This is a historic moment that should preempt any sports blog's standard nighttime activities. The Browns have made a bold step, which either means they are packing it up early this year or they are still hopeful that a new face behind center can inject some life into their staph-infected offense. B...
Brett Myers and The Philadelphia Police Department Welcome you To Watch Monday Night Football With Them
So here's a fun photo taken in the early morning hours after the decisive game 5, when Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was stopped by Philly police officers after he attempted to cross over a blocked off portion of Broad Street. At first Myers was told he couldn't pass, but once several officers recogn...
LeBron's New Shoes Are Apparently an Aphrodisiac
So, Nike has released the latest ad for LeBron James's line of shoes, and it features Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussy Cat Dolls. If you're the kind of person who has always longed for a hoops-based soft core porn movie, today's your lucky day, partner. ...
Thursday Night Preview: #23 South Florida at Cincinnati
In keeping with the theme of the day, once the ESPN Thursday night programmer took a shit and put it into his ESPN issued lunchbox (the graphic on the lunchbox was Stuart Scott's lazy eye and the eye followed you when it moved.)Anyway, then the ESPN programmer collected Lou Holtz's spit and mixed i...
Loaded Feature Stories That Make It Abundantly Clear Why Newspapers Suck
Yes, that's Brett Myers, Phillies number two pitcher, who many of you only know as the man who punched his wife in the face outside a Boston bar back in June of 2006. Given his penchant for violence and dickheaded outbursts, it would seem completely ridiculous for a newspaper to do a feature story o...
New Guitar Hero Ad Gives You A Whole New Reason To Hate Tom Cruise
We mentioned this only in passing last week, because a) it was Friday afternoon, b) we didn't have an embeddable version of the video yet, and c) it's pretty embarrassing for everyone involved, including the viewer. You've probably seen Alex Rodriguez, Tony Hawk, Michael Phelps and Kobe Bryant bring...
Marisa Miller Plus Ryan Braun Equals A Whole Lot Of Ball Jokes
I like to imagine a scenario in which Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is sitting in a conference room with his agent and a representative from the Remington razor corporation. An opportunity has been presented to the charismatic young slugger, but he is hesitant. "Remember," the Draper-esque...
Dean Wormer Would Be Horrified
I suppose if one attends a conservative Christian school such as John Brown University in Arkansas, where students are required to sign a pledge that prohibits profanity, pornography, extramarital sex, tobacco, alcohol, gambling and even dancing, then activities like this are sure to be the result. ...
Blazing Saddles; A Day At The Breeders' Cup
I don't have many living idols, due to the fact that such folk have an unfortunate tendency to let you down. But I make an exception with this gentleman, who is a big reason that I accepted an invitation to attend the Breeders' Cup at Santa Anita this past Saturday. Meeting the great Mel Brooks was ...
Isiah Thomas Overdosed On Sleeping Pills...
Details are sketchy at this point but according to reports from both the New York Post and the Lower Hudson Valley News, police responded to to and overdose call at the purchase home of Isiah Thomas early this morning: ...
The Curious, Somewhat Icky Kellen Winslow Case Lurches Ahead
So to bring you up to speed here, Browns tight end Kellen Winslow says that he's been disrespected by his team; Cleveland general manager Phil Savage says Winslow has a big yap and deserved to be suspended; and everyone involved is airing their grievances through the media. Meanwhile, the Browns med...
Speed Read: Phillies Not Fanatical About Hitting
Deciding to listen to Tim McCarver blather his way through World Series commentary on TV or turning the sound down and listening to the dulcet, confused tones of Joe Morgan on the radio is like choosing between swallowing broken glass or sliding down a razor blade hill - both choices hurt. But I wen...
Tom Brady Isn't Doing So Hot
If you see Tom Brady this weekend, don't ask him about the knee! After finding out that his joints aren't made out of cotton candy and lollipops, doctors are worried about an infection that arose after his ACL reconstruction. They have now performed three separate procedures to try and fight it, and...
Speed Read: Phils Win Game 1, Free Tacos For All
With a runner on and one out in the first inning of Game 1 of the World Series at Tropicana Field last night, Chase Utley attempted to push a bunt through the vacant left side of the infield but it went foul. Five pitches later, he crushed one into the right-field seats for a 2-0 lead that the Phill...
Brett Favre, ESPN, Jay Glazer and You
Brett Favre finally addressed the issues surrounding the Jay Glazer report about whether or not he shared offensive secrets with the Lions prior to the Packers game. As you may have heard: Glazer broke the story, ESPN sends out standard memo instructing its Bristol army NOT TO REPORT THAT STORY, and...
Browns Suspend Kellen Winslow For Defending His Testicles
Can a team suspend a player for defending his own nether region? It appears that's exactly what the Cleveland Browns are doing with Kellen Winslow, and excuse me if I call them on their bullshit. On Monday Cleveland suspended Winslow for one game for "unwarranted, inappropriate, and unnecessarily di...